Trying to be a Badass if You Are Not One

Long story short, don't try it.
Long story longer, I was just planning to go to my local grocery store tonight; but as soon as I step out of my house, I see some asshole making out with a girl no older than 15, she was wearing her school uniform forfucksakes, and (as many kinky sexual things as I've done, I've always done them in private, or for willing audiences) I go "niños, éso no se hace en público."  The girl stopped; but the guy starts looking at me hard, like it's a staring contest.  I got into a fighting stance and went "¿Que putas?  ¡No se hace en público!"  That's when I noticed he must be in his twenties.  He kept talking to her for a while, I don't know what he told her; but he started following me shortly.  I turned around, right in front of hood security, who have guns; but are pieces of shit who couldn't hit a black whale on the side of a white barn, and by this time I'm pissed of as fuck; because I'm thinking he's a pedophile, and because it is an insult to my intelligence for him to think that he could sneak up on me, and I think his plan was to sucker punch me.  I was so pissed of that I didn't even care if he understood what I was saying, so I just went "You want a piece of me?  Come and get it asshole!"  Apparently, he might be friends with hood security, so he started to chat with them, more on that later.
In the meantime, I'm just trying to catch the bus to the supermarket, so I kept walking.  He starts walking behind me again.  That's when I just turned around to face him and gave him the thousand yard stare, and that's when he stopped dead in his tracks and pretended to play dumb because he didn't want to die.  This is not the end of the story, because on my way back from the grocery, the asshole rent-a-cop that he was talking to starts staring at me and that, too, pissed me the fuck off, so I went "What the fuck are you looking at?"  And walked past him; but then I could see in my peripheral vision that he turned his head around to see if was going to try and suckerpunch him or something.  I told him "take a picture, asshole, it will last longer."
Trust me, when I want to sneak up on someone, they never see it coming. I'm ninja as fuck.  I've actually walked right by someone who I didn't particularly want to meet, and who was waiting for me outside a place at the time she knew I would be there, and I saw her; but she didn't see me.  She later came to my house, and just rang the doorbell, and talked me into fucking her, and I fucked the shit out of her.  I didn't particularly want to; but she asked me to.  Practically begged me to, and who am I to say no?  She is not a good person; but she does have a tightass pussy.  I might actually try to see if I can fuck her tonight again.  I don't love her; but I do love her pussy.  Tight as fuck.