Sad Keanu

Whoa! I kow kung fu! Wyld Stallions! (air guitar riff)! We're gonna need guns! Lot's of guns! (air guitar riff) !

Ok so Keanu is a ham.  We all know that.
Give the man a  fucking break.  He can't eat a fucking sandwich by himself?  I eat sandwiches by myself.  That does not make me a fucking loser.  I also drink alone.  That's the name of a fucking song by George Thorogood.  Also, I do not like to be disturbed when I fucking drink.  When the GF comes here I make sandwiches or burgers for her.  She likes that.  That is probably the only reason she's still in love with me. 

We all collectively know that Keanu is a bad actor and kind of a dumbass.  And I liked the second Matrix movie; but hated the third.

I've actually heard girls talking about Keanu and saying they still think he's sexy even though they think he's dumb.  I wish I had it like that.  I do pull a lot of tail.  More than I'm entitled to really.  But they've never told me, "oh you're so smart and sexy!"  They usually fall in love with me because I'm the kind of guy that does burnouts in a camaro and solves most problems by challenging guys to a fistfight after bitchslapping them, or doing structural demolition.

Hell, whenever I get invited to a party, there is never a lack of assholes that want to fight me.  I don't know why the fuck that is.  I'm not a pushover.  Anyone who knows me knows that.  I think it might be because I'm only 5'6";  but once at the mall, some asshole charged me at a full run.  He was taller than me; but I flipped him over by just standing my ground and doing a shoulder shove.  Then I turned around, expecting him to fight me.  He didn't.  He just got up and kept running in the same direction.  The punch line:  The gf, who was right beside me never even noticed.  Nor did mall security.

Morale of the story:  If you're smart you can pull in a lot of tail; but although Marylin Monroe once said that she thought Einstein was sexy, she never fucked him.  But if Einstein had punched out a few people or joined the Palmach, she definitely would have fucked him over that asshole JFK.