Random Rant about Movies

You know that movie Urban Explorers? Pisses me off. At least Hostel had subtitles over the non-English parts, and also, it really could have been great, because nobody hates anything more than they hate nazis; but all the victims were so annoying that I was glad when the Nazi killed them all. Especially the white guy. I enjoyed how his death was particularly painful; because I could have killed that nazi like 20 times if I were in his shoes, and that stupid asshole still managed to get skinned and salted alive even though he coulda painted the walls with the killers brains at one point. I fucking hate when movie characters act retarded. And I love that his girlfriend got her neck broken for falling in love with an asshole like that. 

If people exist that are that fucking stupid, they deserve to fucking die. I woulda emptied the luger in the motherfucker, or kept hitting him upside the head with the piece of the bed that the guy took apart; but most importantly, I would have killed his ass off at the very beginning and then said. "Don't bring a knife to an axe fight." Because the guy that gets hurt has a fuckin tomahawk in his backpack. So frustrating...

When the reason the movie is supposed to be scary has nothing to do with your suspension of disbelief on the bad guy's abilities; but it relies on your suspension of disbelief on the victim's stupidity, that is never a good fucking movie.  Submitted for your consideration:  Hostel II  That's a fucking smart movie, although to really understand it you kind of have to watch the first one, which is objectively a piece of shit, and if you watch that one, then you have to watch the third one, which is even more shit.  But I did like the second one.  You also get to see Heather Matarazzo's (not to sound like a bigot or anything; but because I speak Spanish, Matarazzo sounds kinda like "killer of rats" to me.  In fact down here, we call rat poison mata ratas, which as you can see is phonetically similar) tits in that one.  That's the same girl from Welcome to the Dollhouse, which is a fucking awesome movie in and of itself; but in this movie she's all growed up, and she shows her tits.

 Also, In Urban Explorers they kind of set up a sequel.  I hope that they never get the funding to make that fucking movie.  I mean , when you get down to it, the scariest part of the fucking movie is the nazi's teeth.  They're like the size of half his face.

Also, why the fuck do so many movies nowadays that go for the found footage bullshit. That was done right exactly twice: The Blair Witch project, and REC. All these other pretenders to the throne can go eat a dick.

Paranormality, Quarantine (aka American ripoff of REC), the endless sequels of both, the whole SAW thing (if you can't wrap a fucking story line in less than 6 movies, and none of them involve Boba Fett or light sabers, I'm not getting invested in your piece of shit franchise.  I've watched Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom, and the less boring parts of Raiders of the lost ark, and I'll be damned if I'm going to watch any more movies where Han Solo doesn't have a blaster or Chewbacca as his sidekick) can go eat a dick.