Emily

Emily was this Chinese girl I met off craigslist, who happened to have a cum fetish.  She loved to swallow semen.  She also charged for doing it; but I think mostly she just liked to suck cock, and swallow cum.
Here are a couple of pics of her.  I only dated her once BTW; but the memory of how she swallowed my semen is vivid in my mind:

That girl loves cock.  Trust me on that, and she's also bisexual.  She also looks better in person than in her pics.  Pics kinda suck.  You gotta get the lighting right and whatnot; but driving down to the Peninsula to have her swallow my cum was so worth it.

Ballbusting

There are people that have a nut kicking fetish. And there is actually a name for it. It's called ballbusting, which I think is an appropiate name for it. My dog actually headbutted right on the balls a couple of weeks ago, and I got so pissed at her there are no words for it. Anyone that goes for my balls is gonna get a good beating at least, and a knife in the clavicular artery at worst. She didn't hit me too hard, so I just beat her around a little; which she totally deserved.
Please don't ask me any more about this.  Just knowing that there are people who are into CBT horrifies me.  Getting hit on the balls is painful; but it also makes you like 5 times as mad  as it hurts, don't ever go near a man's balls unless you're just playing with them, and certainly don't kick or punch a man in the balls unless he asks you to.  If anyone ever hits me in the balls during an actual fight,  I'm so breaking their neck, and ripping their head off with my bare hands right afterwards.  I don't fuck around.  It has been many years since I stopped fucking around.

Lake Anza

Driving through there you always have to be careful. So many deer. One time A bunch of my friends went over there, and I think they locked their keys in the car or something, and my car was on the fritz, so I had to go find them in a taxicab, and GPS doesn't work out there, and the driver was so stupid, and I was like "don't drive so fast, eejit, you'll hit a fucking deer, And turn on the frigging highbeams!" And he was like "I don't know how to turn them on." And he actually asked me how I meant to pay for the trip, even though he hadn't actually gotten me to the place, and he had previously told me he knew the way there. I told him "Either we find my friends or I'm not paying you a single red cent!"  Of course I always have knives on me,  Sometimes even guns, although that particular time I didn't have a gun. So I wasn't worried.  I could probably have left him down a hill, then driven my friends off the hills once I turned on the highbeams on. 
Then by some miracle we managed to find them, because I recognized the parking lot, and I actually had to get out of the car and yell to find them.  I think they actually managed to open the trunk and dogpiled in it to stay warm because when I actually got there, there were actually a couple of them in the trunk. The hack actually got a pretty nice fare off driving them around SF.  That doesn't mean he is not a fucktard, because anyone that doesn't know how to turn on the highbeams on his car is totally a fucktard.
BTW, if you know that you are about to hit a deer, don't brake.  Accelerate instead, that increases the probability of it flying over your car because of the momentum.  Do not EVER brake to avoid running over an animal.  As a driver you have a higher responsibility.  That responsibility is to yourself, and your passengers. If you try to avoid hitting a dog, and end up killing your children, to me you are worse than shit.

Coconut

Ok, so I've already said I hate condoms.  Coconut was this girl I met off the street who had a bustier, and was fucking dead sexy.  I only fucked her like five times; but we never used condoms, and I came inside her every single time.  I fucking love black girls.  One time she even hugged me in a certain way to push me deeper inside her, and make me come faster.  Goddamnit, I miss that girl.  She also had something in common with Crystal.  She was a snappy dresser, although Crystal was a petite (She actually wore some Bebe clothes sometimes; but she always looked so fine), and Coconut was taller.  Taller than me even, not lanky or anything, she certainly  had the T&A, She was just taller than me.  Like maybe 3 inches.  Let me reiterate that I love black girls.  I have had sex with a lot of women in my life.  Only like 10% of those have been latinas, and some of those latinas didn't even know Spanish.  My baby's mother can speak Spanish; but she can't read it.  My daughter even tried to p'wn me at Spanish.  Epic fail.

Lola

So Lola was this girl I met on craigslist.  One of the reasons I contacted her, is that she specified she wanted condomless sex.  She might have been a dancer; because she wore ballet shoes, and she was very buff.  She actually had like an eight pack.  You have to do so many crunches to have an eight pack, and that much definition.  So we started talking; but she was actually extremely bad at small talk, so I asked her, "do you want to suck it for a while?" and she did, then I fucked her, and she actually used her feet to push me deep inside her.  I fucking love when girls do that.  Just to make it clear.   I did come inside her.  I've lost track of her since then.  I feel sorry about that, because I want another few shots at that mouth and pussy.

Little Update

I'm starting a new story arc with Kilka and Sophia.  Please be patient.  I'm dedicating most of my time to other projects, plus I have family obligations and my disease to deal with.

The Greatest Love of All

You must love yourself greatly before you can love anyone else.  Then if you are lucky enough to have children, Love your children.  Women are a dime a dozen; but children, dogs and horses will give you their loyalty.  I've had more women than I can count; but I have only one daughter, one dog, and I can get laid pretty much any time I want for like $10.00.  I now only need a horse, except the terrain here is not fit for horse riding, and I don't have a fucking saddle.  My daughter is badass BTW.  She beats up boys older than her.  She takes after me.

Hillary Clinton

Fucking HypocriteEnough said.  Stupid cunt.  How dare she insult people that have actually been under fire, or even at gunpoint?  That is not a thing you fucking do!!!

Underage Girls

Ok, I have always said that I'm not a hypocrite.  This is me naked, completely sincere.  Marla and Crystal were both 17; but in the verge of turning 18 when I first met them.  I had long relationships with both of them.  In fact, I'm not quite sure if Marla's daughter isn't mine.  But there is another girl, and this truly bothers me, because I'm not sure.  I was actually just looking for Selena; but I saw her, and I picked her up.  She asked me for a 20 for half and half.  At the time, I just thought she was a petite girl.  Now, in hindsight, I wonder if she wasn't a very young runaway being pimped, and exploited.  There are a lot of those in Oakland.  It gives me a lot of remorse, because with Marla, and Crystal, I actually built a relationship; but I don't even know that one girl's name, and I'm fairly sure that if she wasn't underage, she was being pimped and exploited.  I would definitely do something about it now; but I was too young and dumb back then.  This is why advocate the legalization of prostitution, because if you regulate it, the trafficking will stop, or at least be greatly reduced; because I can't be sure this girl was underage; but I've seen a lot of very obviously underage girls on International Ave. and I'm sure that happens all over the place.

Scammers

You can do it online, or you can do it in real life.  But I WILL TELL YOU THIS: Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you.  I will come out naked with two blades, and you will be disapperead from the face of the earth.  I am the ripper, tearer, slasher, gouger, I am the teeth in the darkness, the talons in the night, do not fuck with me unless you mean to commit suicide.

Stalkers

Stalkers could be fun to talk to on the phone, if they were funny and switched it up a little. But they just repeat themselves over and over. I remember this one girl who lived next door to me and spread rumors that I would yell "I'm the smartest man in Berkeley!" when I masturbated, and she would prank call me like all the time. I guess she must have had a crush on me or something, and she wanted me for herself, even though she had a boyfriend.
She would actually call me out on being a swinger, which is something I'm not quite sure how she found out about; but I've never made any bones about it.  I've never heven had a wife; but I've had sex with a lot of other men's wives.  And my other next door neighbors were also swingers, and although I'm not quite sure if she ever knew it, she definitely never called them on it. 
Now me being the smartest man in Berkeley is an inside joke between me and my friends.
I'll say this though:
If anyone tries to break into my house, I will come out buttnaked, doublefisting swords. I'm so done fucking around.
And it bears emphasizing that if you ever see a naked man double fisting swords, run the fuck away.  You are so dead if you can't outrun him.
 

Skinny Dipping

Here's what I do personally. Most people that know me have seen me naked, and I have no shame. I'm a guy; but I don't really care if anyone takes nude pics of me and posts them in the internet. I actually got naked once as a prank at the SF Science Exploratorium. It was really late and the middle of winter, and we were by the duck pond. I was like "let's go skinny dipping," and my female friend was like, I totally would, if the water weren't freezing cold right now.   That was completely reasonable, and I only meant it as a joke.

Then one of my male friends goes like "I'm gonna go for a walk," so it's me, my other male friend, and my female friend sitting in a bench waiting for him to get back, then the girl goes, "we should prank him by stripping naked for when he gets back." She and I totally got nude, my other male friend pussed out, and only took of his shirt, although we've gone hot tubing naked together, and also we skinny dipped at Lake Anza. Plus, I used to skinny dip in the pool in college, like all the time.

I actually became my co-op's pool manager, just so there would be more nakedness in the house, because when I moved in, the pool was a swamp; but after I got done with it, the water was clear, and there was a lot of nakedness going on over there, and I skinny dipped with a lot of my house mates in that pool. I was actually very sad to hear recently that the pool has been filled in with dirt, and is now being used as a garden.
Anyways, at the Exploratorium, our friend came back from his walk, and laughed his ass off when he saw us naked.

Starla

Ok , so this girl was a prostitute in Berkeley, on the San Pablo stroll.  She was a latina, pimped, and hanging out with a black girl.  Pimped girls are always stupid, they will lean on your window and try to negotiate with you, or not even recognize you're trying to pick them up.  She actually came up to the window, and I, in rare form, actually negotiated with her for a blowjob without a condom.  Once she got in, and we went to a place on the side streets, I needed to pee, so I went to do that, when I got back to the car, she had a boxcutter out, and a flashlight.  She said she wanted to check my dick for STD's  I told her I wasn't going to let her anywhere near my genitals with a sharp thing, and to either give me the boxcutter, or get the fuck out of my car.  She was like "You can't leave me here sir."  And I was like "I WILL leave you here if you don't give me the box cutter."  And she was like "How do I know you don't have a knife on you?"  And I responded "I do have a knife on me, and yet, you wouldn't know it if I hadn't told you, because I'm not stupid enough to pull it out if I'm not gonna use it.  She then handed me the boxcutter and sucked my dick.  She told me to drop her off at the McDonald's parking lot near Ashby.  I gave her the boxcutter back, and actually looked for her again; but I never found her.

Livestreaming

There are some things I shall never livestream.  They include EVERYTHING. Anyone that livestreams something, question their motives for doing that.

Navigation

Ok, so maybe your gps broke, or you don't have a compass with you; but you happen to have a map, how do you find your bearings?  If you have a compass, don't follow the needle, you will end up walking in circles and the coyotes or the wolves will feast on you.  What you do is you look at the needle  Figure out the shortest route to civilization, and depending on your latitude, you travel at the times it's most comfortable to walk.  You never follow a compass needle, or you end up walking in circles.  You look at the needle, and pick out a landmark, then walk towards that, or you watch where the sun rose (that's east) or where it set (that's west)  If your left arm is pointing west, and your right arm is pointing east, then your stupid face is facing due north, and your ass is about to get buttfucked by my dick.  Just kidding, somebody else is gonna rape your ass.  You're not my type.

Greetings Russia

I greatly admire Vladimir Putin; just because he is legit badass.  I have noticed a lot of you have been reading my blog lately, and I just wanted to say hi.  BTW those Migs and Sukhoi jets you guys make are so badass.  I'd take either of them over an F-18.  I'd love it if you hooked me up  with a couple of recoil operated 30mm gatling air cannons.

Soup

Ok, so there are like a few soups I like.  Cream of tomato with Créme Fresche, and cream of potato with cheese.  I don't really like any others except like this one that actually has porkchops in it, and rice, and this particular kind of beans, and this one herb called pitos.
Other than that, I use cream of mushroom to make Alfredo sauce, so why the fuck do they have a souperhero trying to pimp soup to me?  Either I like the soup, or I don't.
Also, all you moteherfuckers that love sopa de patas, y'all can suck my ass.  Seriously?  Soup made out cow hooves and cow intestines?  My mother tried to feed me that once.  I gave her the well deserved silent treatment for two days after that.  I also absolutely refused to eat egg soup, and dried fish soup (kind of traditional here during easter, and most people hate it.  My theory is that they do it as a kind of penance; but fuck you if you think I'm gonna eat that shit).  Don't eat shit just because it's traditional, or try to force your kids to eat it.  I got into an actual fistfight with my dad over something like that.  I couldn't have possibly won that fight, and he cleaned my clock; but he couldn't really beat me too bad, because my teachers at school would have called CPS, and they would have put him in jail; but he then took it out on someone else and got the shit sued of him.
Now let me tell you what happens when you are an asshole to your wife and children.  Your wife will divorce you.  Your firstborn from another woman other than your wife, will not even acknowledge your existence.  The next one in line who is the only one that will ever give you a granddaughter, will never fully trust you.
The next one in line will get so mindfucked that he will be a virgin until he meets a woman ten years his senior.  He will marry that goat faced woman, and then be surprised when she can't bear him children.  She will become a vegan, and instead of telling her "fuck you, I eat whatever I want!" He'll start eating meat behind her back, smoking weed behind her back, asking her for permission to have a beer at social events, and getting shitfaced behind her back.  Then she'll find out about all of this, and ask the wussie for a divorce, as well she should, and the asshole will agree to support her and even live with her for 5 motherfucking years, while she goes out on dates with her new boyfriend.
Then, that same asshole is going to hit on your granddaughters mother.  Now, your son that is that baby's father, has already told your granddaughter's mother what an asshole you have been to him, and then his brother makes a pass at her; because of how badly you mindfucked him.  I'd say at that point your chances of meeting your granddaughter are somewhere between zero and fugggetaboutit, mothefucka!
This actually saddens me a little; because I would like for my father to meet my daughter; but first he would have to deal with my brother, and that's prettty hard to do in the US, although if he came here, I would so drag that fatass all up and down my floor.  I'd be like  "Oh, so your name is in the house's title?  Here's puke in yo face!"  At that point I might stab him, or maybe stab him,  another option would be to stab him and gut him like a fish, except that I would actually gut and cook, and eat the fish; but I wouldn't bother wasting that much time on the turd that is my brother. I'd just do what is necessary, and then say "Served, biotch!"