Soup

Ok, so there are like a few soups I like.  Cream of tomato with Créme Fresche, and cream of potato with cheese.  I don't really like any others except like this one that actually has porkchops in it, and rice, and this particular kind of beans, and this one herb called pitos.
Other than that, I use cream of mushroom to make Alfredo sauce, so why the fuck do they have a souperhero trying to pimp soup to me?  Either I like the soup, or I don't.
Also, all you moteherfuckers that love sopa de patas, y'all can suck my ass.  Seriously?  Soup made out cow hooves and cow intestines?  My mother tried to feed me that once.  I gave her the well deserved silent treatment for two days after that.  I also absolutely refused to eat egg soup, and dried fish soup (kind of traditional here during easter, and most people hate it.  My theory is that they do it as a kind of penance; but fuck you if you think I'm gonna eat that shit).  Don't eat shit just because it's traditional, or try to force your kids to eat it.  I got into an actual fistfight with my dad over something like that.  I couldn't have possibly won that fight, and he cleaned my clock; but he couldn't really beat me too bad, because my teachers at school would have called CPS, and they would have put him in jail; but he then took it out on someone else and got the shit sued of him.
Now let me tell you what happens when you are an asshole to your wife and children.  Your wife will divorce you.  Your firstborn from another woman other than your wife, will not even acknowledge your existence.  The next one in line who is the only one that will ever give you a granddaughter, will never fully trust you.
The next one in line will get so mindfucked that he will be a virgin until he meets a woman ten years his senior.  He will marry that goat faced woman, and then be surprised when she can't bear him children.  She will become a vegan, and instead of telling her "fuck you, I eat whatever I want!" He'll start eating meat behind her back, smoking weed behind her back, asking her for permission to have a beer at social events, and getting shitfaced behind her back.  Then she'll find out about all of this, and ask the wussie for a divorce, as well she should, and the asshole will agree to support her and even live with her for 5 motherfucking years, while she goes out on dates with her new boyfriend.
Then, that same asshole is going to hit on your granddaughters mother.  Now, your son that is that baby's father, has already told your granddaughter's mother what an asshole you have been to him, and then his brother makes a pass at her; because of how badly you mindfucked him.  I'd say at that point your chances of meeting your granddaughter are somewhere between zero and fugggetaboutit, mothefucka!
This actually saddens me a little; because I would like for my father to meet my daughter; but first he would have to deal with my brother, and that's prettty hard to do in the US, although if he came here, I would so drag that fatass all up and down my floor.  I'd be like  "Oh, so your name is in the house's title?  Here's puke in yo face!"  At that point I might stab him, or maybe stab him,  another option would be to stab him and gut him like a fish, except that I would actually gut and cook, and eat the fish; but I wouldn't bother wasting that much time on the turd that is my brother. I'd just do what is necessary, and then say "Served, biotch!"