Dihydrogen Monoxide Warning, and E. Coli Bean Sprout Warning

Be careful guys, there have been a lot of cases of dihydrogen monoxide poisoning lately.  If you see any in solid state, do not touch it or lick it (your tongue or hand will get stuck to it, and will develop severe burns) , or eat it (you will develop an intestinal ulcer).  If you see any in liquid form, do not drink it to excess.  I can assure you it will not give you a buzz.  Instead, it will give you edema at best, and at worst, a mild case of death.  Perhaps the most dangerous form of this compound is it's gaseous (or farty) state.  If you get too close to the compound in this form, it will peel your skin clean off, and then you will suffer from a severe (and sligtly slower, which as you are dying having been completely skinned is very undesirable) case of death.
Now in case you haven't figured it out already,  dihydrogen monoxide is water.  I post this because some idiot reporter from India wrote an article saying that if you drink enough water, it will make you drunk.  That is because the medical term is water intoxication, and the retard thinks intoxication means drunkenness instead of poisoning.  Trust me, it will not make you drunk.  It will make you dead, just like it did this lady:
Water will not make you drunk
Now, for my ulterior motive, in Europe they have been destroying all kinds of vegetables because of an E. Coli outbreak which was ultimately traced to Bean Sprouts.  That's retarded because Sprouts are poisonous and they are trying to let you know by their horrible, horrible taste, dumbassNow, who the hell is so stupid as to put that in their salad?  Raw, they taste like shit.  That's because they come from the ground, which is decomposed shit.  Now, a lot of things come from the ground, like potatoes; but you cook those somehow.  Uncooked sprouts; however, even have an FDA warning, which is well deserved.
Just say no to uncooked bean sprouts.
I had raw sprouts once.  I was at my high school's cafeteria, and a lot of times, unless it was like pizza day, or sloppy joe day, or something like that (their pesto had no parmesan.  How dare they call it pesto?!!!!  Allah damn them!!!
Here's how you do Italian cooking:
Tereeraisa(?) in the Kitchen
Now we're cooking with imported olive oil!) I would just go to the salad bar; because you could have as much dressing and cheese, and as many thick cut ham squares as you liked on top of your lettuce.
Well, one day, they had sprouts at the cafeteria, and I put some on the side, because they look weird, and once I tasted them I spit them out.  I chucked the rest into the trash because who the fuck wants that?  Bean sprouts taste like shit.
A short time after my father and stepmother took me to a buffett, and he told me and my brother to put some sprouts in my plate at the salad bar.  We pretended not to listen to him, and just kept along the line, grabbing all kinds of other food.  He didn't say shit to us, probably not to cause a scene.
Now don't take me wrong,  I've eaten a lot of sprouts in pot stickers, and springrolls, and some stirfries, and Phó (is that how you spell that?  The Vietnamese soup; but I don't really know how to spell that, I suck at Vietnamese), and they are tasty any of those ways; but they taste like shit (correction, they taste like shit that has been crapped out by shit) if you eat them raw, and if you do, you deserve to get E. Coli.
And history has proven me right.  So what up now, hater?

Bahrain Can Suck It

Ok, so you might have read on one of my past posts that I said the Bahraini court system sucks ass.  Apparently they read that in Bahrain.  That is hilarious to me. 
Backwards ass motherfuckers...  Seriously?  Killing a fourteen year old girl for getting raped?  I don't know if hell exists; but if it does, I know there is a place reserved in the lowest circle of it for anyone that had anything to do with that.  And if it were my daughter, or even my daughter in law, or anyone remotely associated with me, there'd be civil war, and you'd hope for hell then...

Litte Update

Haha!  It's kind of ridiculous I spent so much time editing this; but my latest blog article will make milk come out of your nose, even if you are not drinking milk. What am I?  A botanist?  I do not understand these biological mechanisms!

Murder on Ya Ears. 7 Ways Music is Being Assassinated as We Speak.

Ok, so everyone is a critic; but here is how music is being slaughtered right now, so its flesh can be fed to pigs.  This is obviously an effort by Al Quaieddeadiddidum deedi doom de dum de whatevs to terrorize us through sonic weapons, and they are getting airplay.
#7  Rebeccca Black, Friday
Ok, this video is higly autotuned,  poorly acted (no one in the video seems even mildly excited that it's Friday, or that they are joydriving a car at 14 years old, or that they are dressed really slutty at the Friday night party while being 14), and there is actually a version by Nicepeter that is actually acceptable; but only because he knows how to make music, and even he says at the end of the vid that he hates the song, and that he had to unlearn everything he knew about music to even sing it.
Nicepeter Friday Fun!
To be fair to Rebecca Black she actually seems to have a sense of humor, as evinced by the fact she did Black Friday for April fools with Funny or Die, although as I've already written, I would not have done what she did, once I saw the script for the video.  It's plain stupid.  However, having too high an opinion of yourself can lead you to more stupidity.  Read on for more on that on the number one item in this article.  In the meantime, let's talk about...
#6  Tonje Langeteig, I Don't Want to be a Crappy Housewife 
Ok, this is just pretty much an honorable mention.  Just watching as much of the vid as you can is hilarious enough.  Any more, and you might just punch your computer.  I put her after Rebecca Black, because I hope she never tries to release anything ever again.  Mostly for her own good.  Because no one is gonna buy that shit.
Instead of a link to that, here's a link to something you might enjoy.
Dreams
#5 Justin Beaver, Baby
Ok, this song is just crap.  I truly don't know why Ludacris didn't just strangle him once he had him in the chokehold.  I certainly cannot listen to this song without having a murderous urge to choke the life out of someone.  Anyone.
Instead of directing you to the overplayed song that might drive you to do unspeakable things to any living forms in the vecinity, I will instead direct you to someone who actually has some talent.
Dani Shay
She's way more talented and sexy than Beaver.  I don't much watch TV these days; but I believe she was on the American version of X-Factor, or America's got talent, or some such thing.  She has a much better voice, and wit, and she can actually play an instrument, while Beaver has to get a stuntman to wear a wig and pretend to breakdance for him.  What a hack.
#4 Jennifer Lopez, On the Floor (Ft. Pitbull)
Ok, when I first heard about this video, I had high hopes for it.  J Ho has never been a talented musician; but if you can't appreciate Pitbull it's because you know fuckall about rapping.  However it's like she told him "don't rap anything badass that might upstage my bootyshaking," and you know what?  I am not impressed by the bootyshaking or the product placements.
Are we truly being punked with a remake of an old Lambada song?  Because I'm not amused.
Also, why the hell is she trying to keep us from seeing her naked by suing her exboyfriend?   We already saw her naked in U-turn.  Kind of pointless, no?  Instead of showing this stupidass video, here's Pitbull in rare form:
Pitbull, I know you want me
Sorry about the quality.  There used to be a higher quality,  maybe he has a VEVO channel now or something?
#3 Lady Gaga, Judas
Anyone notice that this sounds exactly like Bad Romance and has the same theme, as well as a pretty similar aesthetic?  Instead of showing you the original Bad Romance, I'll show you an accoustic version, which doesn't want to make you gouge your eyes out because of her fashion sense, and plug your ears, or blow your brains out because of her singing.
Booyah!
Patrick Goble
#2 Beyoncé, Run the World (girls)
Ok, I pretty much love everything Beyoncé does.  Everything.  She sexy.  But almost the only thing that's worse than a Lady Gaga video is Beyoncé trying to rip off Lady Gaga's aesthetic, with a song that is less musically redeemable than a Lady Gaga Song.  Disaster.  I won't even put a link to the video up.  Instead, I'll put some old Beyoncé up, because I hope we can just put this video behind us and forget this ever happened.
Beyoncé, Crazy in Love
#1 Katy Perry, Friday
One of my cousins actually Facebooked earlier tonight that he loved this video.  This is the summary of what I told him:
"Primo, I think you must be deaf. I saw this vid on ForD two days ago, and couldn't listen to it all the way through. It's so awful!"
Keep in mind I try to censor myself a little when I talk to him, and I really did not the watch the video the first time through.  But tonight I did.  I regret this more than if I were a goat rapist.  I am going to take every drug I can get my hands on, just so I can forget it.
"And seriously, Rebecca Black, and what sounds like someone raping a saxophone?
Oh shit, it's Kenny G! No wonder!
At least they didn't let Rebecca Black sing. 
Still, my ears feel so violated they might just commit suicide. Damn you for bringing this up!!! Damn you to hell!!! "
After that, I swallowed my entire supply of heroin.  As I see the world blur around me, I wonder if I will survive.  I'm not sure I want to.  I think Katy Perry might be like the third or fourth worst crime against humanity, just behind the holocaust, rape as a weapon of war, and torture.  Maybe it's better if I  just die in a pool of my own vomit.
BTW, that's a joke.  I don't do heroin (although I do heroines, non-heroines, and anti-heroines without any discrimination between the three), and if you think you are going to get rid of me so easily, I say "good day to you sir!"  And "Swords at dawn!"

Update to Kilka and Sophia

Ok, so I just posted a little more K&S.  Hope you guys are liking it.  Will try to put more art up soon.

Kilka and Sophia Ep 4: In Technicolor

As I'm towelling off from my shower, Sophia internal phone starts ringing.
S-  "it's your coast factory's manager on duty my master"
That's one of what might be called my red phones.
 K- "answer it Sophia"
Manager-"Kilka sir, the police here are en force to close down the factory, our security forces cannot hold them for long, they have not been trained on how to use your latest weapons."
K-"well how many of them are there?"
Manager-"Well I see black uniforms as far as the eye can see from the security camera feed.  They're about a click out.  Every direction except the actual docks.  They called ahead to say you bankrupted the country, and now they are confiscating it.  What should I tell them?"
K- "Tell them I'm calling heavy air support in, and I'll be right there to see them personally if any of them survive.  Keep the runways clear, get ready to restock the planes with fuel, bombs, missiles, and ammo."
Manager-"But sir, that's ille"
K-  "DO IT OR I'LL PERSONALLY KILL YOU SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY!  Sophia, hang up!"
S- "Call has been ended my master, it might interest you to know that police troops are also assaulting the national armory.  The one that your cousin is deployed at.  Also other attacks are being reported on the internet by civilians and some of your journalist colleagues.  It is mostly by the police or gangsters on military troops headquarters.  Most importantly, my lord, there is heavy shooting at the Presidential Mansion."
K- "Soph, help me get into my nanowire suit, deploy two of the Jupiter heavy bombers to defend the factory, and one to defend the armory.  Kill anything in a black uniform.  Defend the military and the factory!"
S-"Nothing at the Pesidential Mansion my lord?"
K-"Keep me appraised of the situation there as much as you can, now help me put my cermet armor on, and let's get to the Liger. I'm driving."
S-"Yes my master, the Jupiters have already wiped out with carpet bombimg most of the troops at your factory.  The other one is almost at the armory. No information is forthcoming on the Presidential Mansion at this time"
K-"Then just keep me appraised of the situation, and hang tight, because I'm gonna ride the hell out of this trike."
VVVVVVVRRRRRROOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
K-" Soph, thunderbolt the rest of the area around the factory with the Jupiters, and give me a visual feed on the one at the armory on the headup display."
S-"The jupiters at the factory are out of bombs.  The troops attacking it are hiding in the terrain.  I cannot thunderbolt them.  The armory is in an urban area, I cannot carpet bomb it or thunderbolt it without causing heavy noncombatant loses, however the soldiers there seem to be holding their own.  Also you have an incoming call from the Vice President of the republic."
K- "Patch him through Sophes."
VP-"The police inform me that you just decimated the troops at your factory, Kilka.  Look, I don't want your factory or your money.  I just need your military trikes and any other armament you could spare me.  The president has not been conducting his office to my satisfaction, so I aim to take over with the help of people like you, and your cousin.  By the way, tell him if he gives me the mechanized armor, I'll spare his life.  You guys can be my right hand men."
K-"Tell him yourself.  I'm not your lackey; but I doubt he'll go for it.  Sophia, end the call!"
S- "Transmission ended."
K-"Sophes send one of the Jupiters at the factory to the Presidential Mansion."
S-"My lord, it might interest you to know that the air force has scrambled fighters."
K-"Try to find out if they are loyalists or if they're in with the coup.  Fly the Jupiters high.  The can't take on the fighter jets; but the fighters can't hit them at maximum altitude.  We're just using them for reconnaisance now.  How many fighter jets do you think you can control without exceeding your RAM Sophia?"
S-"If I put the Jupiters in autopilot, maybe two, unless I actually have to fight on the ground.  However, the air force troops seem to be friendly.  The jet fighters cannot really do much to help us, as most of the fighting is now in heavily populated areas.  News sources are now saying that the President has been evacuated, and is now seeking asylum in a foreign country.  The jet fighters were escorting him north apparently, as he had to leave in a helicopter."
K-"Call up my cousin.  We're gonna kill the VP."
VRRRRROOOOOOMMMM.

Update on Kilka and Sophia

Not sure if I can post tomorrow on Kilka and Sophia.  The art is not finished, and  I think I'm locking horns with the Zetas.  Yes.  Those Zetas.  I might have to kill some Zetas soon.  I'll try to post something tomorrow, even if it's not K&S.
You know, I don't think it was the Zetas.  But they are definitely human traffickers and scammer coyotes.  I found out more about them today.  Despite their threats I don't think they have the courage to actually send someone to kill me.
This is what I found out about them:
Migration experts, more like human traffickers.
These people actually insulted me, mentioned a car I used to own, as if to say "I know who you are, I got your number."  Called me a fag (that's not a thing legitimate business owners do)  I'd love to see them send someone down here to kill me.  Motherfucker would get his head taken clean off with my demon katana.  I wouldn't even call the cops.  I'd dissolve the motherfucker's body with hidrochloric acid, and then track whoever put the hit on me.  I'd also get a free machine gun out of it.  And that's my favorite kind of machine gun.  FREE.
I've been drawing Kilkas armor with him holding his preferred sidearm this afternoon (it's a modified Chiappa Mateba semiautomatic revolver).  I hope I'll have it finished by tomorrow.  I really want the story to be well illustrated so you can see it in your mind's eye.

Update on Kilka and Sophia

Ok, so I got the next episode pretty much finished; but I'm working on some real human trafficking shit (yeah, Kilka is kind of based on me, not too much; but a little), and the art is not yet ready, and I want to make sure nobody falls for this one scam.  Because  the people that would are the people that least need to be scammed.  They are the poorest of the poor.  The most desperate of people.  That is who both me and Kilka fight for, and I might have to take a day off fighting these assholes.  Promise, at least by Tuesday if not tomorrow,  I'll post more Kilka and Sophia.  I pictured it one way; but the timeline might have to be put off a smidge.  Look at me, all talking to the FBI and ICE and shit.  I hate charlatans worse than I hate LE though, and I do trust on the FBI.  Not that much on ICE; but sometimes they can be useful, like for stemming human traffickers.

                             Fisty kisses to all of you

                                                  Mag ;)

I'd Be All Over That

I Love Cats

See this is the kind of chick you fuck; but you don't date, because crazy in the head=crazy in the bed.  Trust me, this chick will get freaky with you when it comes time to do the nasty.  I don't know her; but I can tell from a mile away.  I love animals, I'd like a couple of cats and a couple of dogs, and to set up a tiger/lion/liger refuge; but I'm not obsessed with them.  My neighbor's kitten keeps breaking into my house.  I just think it's cute because as soon as it sees me open my front door's gate, it comes in; but once it sees me, it runs away; but it doesn't run out the same way it came in, it takes a real roundabout way.  And speaking of kittens.  There's this, which is so cute.
Cutest kitty hug ever
Something that you have to realize is that when kittens are born, they are as small as a mouse.  They are not born with their eyes open.  I learned this the hard way.  When I was about twelve there was a female cat around here that would fuck every tomcat in the neighborhood.  She left two cats right on our roof at different times.  One died fairly young.  I'm not sure why, but you can believe I cried my eyes out as I saw her expire her last breath. The other one was so badass that someone stole her.  I meshed so much with her that if I ever find out who took her from me, there'll be hell to pay.
Now here's the real heart breaker,  The cat mom also left a newborn cat on our roof during the rainy season.  For many days we couldn't figure out where the meowing was coming from, and all the time it was getting rained on, until one day my mom found it on the front garden, among the grass.  We tried to do everything for that kitten for the whole week it was with us; but it died before it could ever see the light of day.  He never had a chance to open his eyes.  I always choke up a little when I think about that.
Little update since I first wrote this.  The girl is just playing for the camera.  Here's a link to her Youtube channel:
Hartmanncara
She did have me fooled though.  I love talented actressess.  The pigtail girl from the esurance commercials also has an absolutely hillarious video on Youtube.  From when when her friend moved to LA.  Here's that:
Suzi Barrett Hates LA
Stupid hilarious fucking hot bitch!

Kilka and Sophia Ep 3: Revenge of the Shit. Wait, Goddamned Autocorrect!!!

The Jupiter heavy jet bomber is a multirole heavy ground attack bomber/high altitude reconnaisance ship.  It is an experimental aircraft, and it's developement has been undertaken entirely independently by Kilka Industries SA de CV.  Kilka named it Jupiter because one of its weapons is the Thunderbolt Electric Cannon, which as it's name suggests is able to shoot thunderbolts at massed ground troops.  It is completely stealth when manned.  This is not the case when Sophia is remotely controlling them, as she needs to maintain scrambled radio contact with them.  There are only 3 prototypes in existence.  They can target fighter aircraft and launch missiles, however they are not air superiority fighters and cannot dogfight as their turning rate is too slow, even though they have some thrust vectoring technology incorporated.
The Jupiter's maximun operating ceiling is 125,000 feet.  It's cruising speed depends on it's variable wing position; but it's Maximum recorded speed at low altitude so far has been Mach 3.5.  Once this was achieved, Kilka pulled back on the throttle, fearing the aircraft might break up in midair under excessive stress.  Kilka is currently evaluating different engine and weapon options for the Jupiter.

Update to Kilka and Sophia

Ok so I promised an update to the story.   It has taken a little longer because I have now a very good photoshopper working on some of the illustrations, and we've been working very hard on some of the illustrations.  His name is Daniel Aguilar and he is a multi-talented guy.  He did the illustration I'm about to post incredibly fast and based on just a doodle I showed him.  The accompanying text is just the specifications of the Jupiter heavy bomber, which will be a very important device in the story.  Hope you guys like it.  We'll be busy on the next illustration which will be more detailed, and the next piece of the story will have mor detailed plot points.  I might not post that till Sunday or Monday though.  Hope you're having a good time.  I'm also working on the  handmade illustrations.  That takes a lot longer; but I think that will be eventually what everybody thinks of when they hear Kilka and Sophia.  Until then, I will leave you with a little preview of what's coming up.

If you want to Daniel Aguilar to do some photoshopping for you (he is also a great musician, and video editor), leave a comment, and your contact info, and I'll pass it on to him.

                                    Mag ;)

Rebecca Black. Poor Girl. Too Unliked.

Maybe she coulda been a decent musician some day; but she sold out too early, now what label would be so stupid to sign her?  Only the same scam label that originally conned her parents into doing it.  Singing well takes a lot of training.  Poor girl.  I hope that's a learning experience for her.  I genuinly feel sorry for this girl; but you know what, I even though  I danced the flamenco quite well in middle school, and the school I went too asked me to come for a couple of weekends of  fund raising.  This was after many months of training under a private flamenco teacher, and I knew how to dance quite well with a partner.  But at the first actual fundraiser, and at the second one also, my partner didn't attend, so the choreography I had been practicing did not serve me at all either of those times.  I lokked like a dumbass.  Then for the thidrd and biggest fundraising event of the year everyone in my family told me to get up and I was like "I know how to dance Flamenco very well with a partner; but I don't care for being made a fool out of, and that happened twice already, also, sopa de patas tastes like ass, so I'm staying home.  You can drag me over there if you want; but it'll be kicking and screaming, and I'll be damned if you are gonna be able to get me into my costume.  You'd have to kill me first, and I can't dance if I'm dead.  So I stayed home, just chillaxing.  Then, from the event, my dancing partner called me, and I just told her no, you screwed me twice, so now screw you.  She never talked to me after that.  Good riddance to bad rubbish.  I'm still well known for dancing very well.  I have no idea what happened to her, nor do I care.  I don't even remember her name or the name of the song we practiced.

I Won the Internet Lottery!

Oh snap!  The UN for some stupid fakeass reason, out of the blue, deposited $1.5 mill to my name through Western Union.  That's like the stupidest fucking 419 phishing scam ever.  The only relationship that I have to the UN is that I have a cousin in law who is a Colonel and directs the blue helmets school down here.  I actually have a few mixed feelings about the UN.  They do a few good things and a few very awful things, unintentionally; but when the left hand doesn't know what the right one is doing, that's bound to happen.  I've read stories of UN peacekeepers allowing mobs to mow down innocent people because of the UN rules of engagement.  That to me is the definition of a clusterfuck.  Stupid UN, and stupid scammers.

Is it me, or are 419 phishing scammers getting more stupid by the minute?

Another Little Update to the Sci-Fi Series

From now on it's gonna be called Kilka and Sophia. Ok,  I said I wouldn't add to the story for a couple of days, and I won't.  But I'll try to get you at least some written story fix by Thursday or Friday.  I'm gonna try to post some new preliminary drawings over the weekend.  Sorry if it might seem like I'm a tease; but this stuff takes a lot of time to do, and I have to do all the art by hand and with pretty crappy art materials.  Hell, I don't even have an airbrush or acrylic paint, and I'm kind of an uncompromising guy, so I want you guys to really see very high quality illustrations, so you can get a real feeling for what it would look like to actually be in the year 2050 and to be a witness to the story, which as I kind of most symplistically could put it, is an allegory for everything that is happening in modern times.  Not all the art is gonna be supper realistic, and I know that the illustration I put up of Sophia looks really stupid; but what happened is that I had to shoot that with my web cam because my printer scanner broke a couple of months back, and I still haven't had time to buy a new one, or even made my mind up what kind I'm gonna buy yet.  But believe me, you are gonna cream your pants when you see Sophia in her riding suit and double fisting guns.  Also the trikes and the battle armor that they transform into, all the tanks, the planes, the ships, the spaceships, and the weapons in the series are gonna be eyecandy.  I'll give you diabetes through your eyeballs.  Also, I'll try to make the story as interesting as I possibly can.  For now what I'll do is change all the titles to the past posts in the series to Kilka and Sophia Ep [insert ep. number here] That's so you can follow the story better.  I hope you are all enjoying reading my series as I'm enjoying writing and illustrating it.

                     Peace cool kats and kittens,

                                                                     Mag ;)

Stupid Cowardly Mexican Ex-Police Chief Seeks US Asylum

Please, Mr. Gringo, don't let the narcos kill me.

What an idiot this woman is. Who the hell tries to head an unarmed police force? Especially in frigging Mexico. A fucktard, that's who.  

If you are gonna take on a job, you need the right tool for the job. If the criminals are armed and you're supposed to fight crime, you and your subordinates should arm yourselves. If I were in her shoes and interviewing a potential employee; but that person told me that they refused to carry weapons, that would be reason enough to disqualify them from getting the job.

BTW, since when is running to another country  from the criminals you are supposed to arrest or kill a brave thing?  If you are a rural police chief, that's your damn job description, to arrest and kill criminals.  That's obvious.  If you are scared of the cartels, then you shouldn't even take that job.  

I hope ICE does it's job and deports her and she gets killed by the narcos shortly after her arrival in Mexico, or the cartels follow her accross the border and kill her.  That's gonna be the Darwin award of the year.

I fucking hate cowards.

Just a Little Update and Some Clarifications About my Sci-Fi Series.

You might have noticed that I already alluded to the fact that Kilka, the human protagonist (and I'm not even gonna get into why I named him that, because that actually has religious undertones, and I know people are gonna be offended, even though it was not meant to offend, so I'll just leave unexplained.  Let sleeping dogs lie) is rather promiscuos.  I think that in this day and age, the only reason why anybody (everybody, really) should be offended about that is if he were a pederast or a human trafficker.  He is neither of those things.  Those are the kinds of people he fights against.  As you can tell from the story, he is an inventor that has become a rather wealthy industrialist, and now he spends his days doing investigative journalism.  He does that because he has a high sense of duty towards humankind.   He is not self righteous though, and he can be extremely violent when he gets pissed off...  I'm going off on a tangent.  One thing that I have not made quite clear yet is that he's bisexual.  He is also, as I already mentioned, and incorrigible nudist, and has a rather kinky streak when it comes to sex.  The series will not be very sexually explicit, because it's not about sex; but there'll be mention of many sexual practices and of Kilka having both male and female sexual partners.  This is mainly to build up the sexual tension between him and Sophia, and because I think the collective uptightness over sex is one thing that most definitely should end all over the world.  In Bangladesh for example, a 40 year old married man raped a 14 year old, and when she accused him of it, the court sentenced her to 40 lashes because they said that she had admitted to adultery.  The guy got off scot free, and the girl died from the lashing.  This is because some people are sexually uptight.  Also, because apparently the Bangladeshi court system sucks ass...tangent again.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that one of the perks of being an independent blogger is that I have complete creative freedom.  Final cut, so to speak.  I'm not gonna change the violence, the cursing, or the bisexuality or promiscuity of my character, because I don't have to.  So if you, dear reader, are offended by any of the content in this blog, you have 2 options:
1.  Skip over the parts that offend you, or change those parts of the story in your mind (that's what imagination is for).
2.  Pretend that this blog doesn't exist.  I am not, after all, putting a gun to anybody's head to force them to read it.
Either way, I hope you enjoy your day.  I probably won't post to add to the story for a couple of days, I'm working on the illustrations of Sophia, Kilka's riding suit, the different trikes in the story, and the battle armor that they transform into.  Also I'm still trying to formulate all the twist plots I want in the story to keep it interesting.

                      Lates,

                                 Mag ;)

Sarah Palin and Paul Revere.

Ok, here's the original vid of this dumbass who apparently knows nothing about history.
Durrh
Now a a vid on how she defended what she said
Herp Derp
Now  the real story.  
You know what? Paul Revere had a poem that we all know written about him because his name happened to rhyme well; but he really did not ride very far. Not far at all.  I would have sex with Sarah Palin in a heartbeat; but I wouldn't really want to date her. She's blessed with looks; but SOL for brains.
If I'm elected prez I will accidentally set off WWIII, because I'm a dumbass. 
If Paul Revere's name had been Paul Orange, nobody would know fuckall about him. Lol.
And some more history to supplement.
Credit is due because this guy was the real badass 
Enough said. 

Kilka and Sophia Ep 2: Kinetic Babaloo

I'm reading the news while Sophia just stands there, watching me eat my breakfast.  Around the house she's welcome to walk around naked, except for an apron when she cooks.  I hate to scrub her down when she gets grease or carbon on her exterior.  It's also very expensive to rechrome her.  I also  walk around naked in the house.  We only put on clothes when we have to go outside.  This is a great mindfuck to me.  That I should have to dress not only myself; but also my "female" robot for the sake of modesty; but while I only dress her to not be bothered with other people's BS, it is an absolute necessity that I put on a riding suit before we get in the trike.  I invented this thing a few years ago.  And there are three versions of it.  The civilian version.  Two seat tandem.  The military version, which looks exactly the same as the civy; but it's a single seater, also, the cargo carriers are substituted with anti tank missile launchers.  The rider also has to wear a special suit for the trike not to destroy him when it transforms into battle armor.  Then there's the Liger.  The Liger is my own personal trike.  Two seater.  I have designed my own special armor that looks different enough from the military issue armor that I can wear it in public.  Also, Sophia can ride in the backseat.  The Liger looks enough like a civy trike that nobody blinks an eye.  I do have to let her out before I transform the trike into battle armor.  I also keep a couple of the military trikes especially modified and painted to look more civy than usual just in case the Liger gets destroyed or Sophia and I need to team up to destroy something in full battle armor.  This has never been the case.   But as I have my breakfast, I'm noticing something really strange.  On the news,  I'm being called a traitor by the VP of my nation.  Supposedly I've bankrupted the nation even though my trike factories have brought in more revenue to the country than any other business in many years.  I tell Sophia as I finish my breakfast, I'm gonna take a shower.  Get dressed in the meanwhile, and get ready to help me get my riding suit on.  I have to find out a few things...

Brokeass Assholes Trying to Take my Money

I don't know why so many brokeass ppl axing me for money; but if they try to take it, not only are they gonna notice that I hardly ever carry cash on me; but also that I was born to chew gum, give a fuck, and kick ass, and I'm also out of gum and fucks. Not that I had much gum or fucks to begin with, and hell, I don't even like gum.

Seriously, if anybody tells me that they're gonna shoot me if I don't give them my wallet, they'd better say that after they've already shot me, because otherwise they're gonna get a cranial fracture from their own gun.

Preliminary drawing of Sophia.

I actually first drew her a long time ago.  When I was like 20.  Somewhere along the line, I don't know where those drawings ended up.  I still can draw her from memory, though.  The final picture is gonna be in superrrealistic style and she's gonna have battle damage, because it's part of an action sequence.  That's why she's naked.  She's just been in an explosion, so all her clothes burned up.  Believe me, when you see the finished product, you're gonna fall in love with her.  I'm so excited about this new storyline, initially she was gonna be supposed to star in a different comic; but I'm so much more happy that now she's the star of this new story line.  It's not gonna be a comic, because I have no illustrators and inkers.  I'm just drawing her by myself; by hand; but all the finished illustrations are gonna be high quality.  I'm also gonna draw other elements of the story.  Are you excited?  Because I am very excited.

Kilka and Sophia Ep 1: The Phantom Dennis, Wait, Who the Fuck is Dennis?

The year is 2050,  my robot maid wakes me up and asks me what I want for breakfast.  I tell her to make me a cheesesteak sandwich. I sit up and roll my desktop computer over so I can check the news.  Some people that have it like that (and good for them if they do) buy sexbots instead.  Actually, not so good for them.  That's pathetic.  I love Sophia.  I spend more time with her than with any human being; but for sex, I'd rather have sex with human beings.  I think that's a little confusing to her.  She does not fully understand sex.  Her programming does not include sex.  There was not enough space in her hard drive for me to explain sex to her when I modified her, I know that it's awkward for her when I bring a people over to have sex with.  I also know whe's not supposed to have feelings; but I think it makes her a little jealous.  Maybe not of me, maybe she just want to have sex too, except she's not a sexbot.  There is hardly any way she could possibly have sex.  She has no lady parts.  She doesn't even have a mouth.  Instead, I programmed her to know Krav Maga and Sambo and everything I know about shooting.  She also knows how to pilot helicopters, because I can fly the hell out of any plane in the world; but I know fuckall about helicopters.  She's also a better driver than me, although I'm usually the one who drives, because she's a little too inhibited when she drives.   She could tme in a racetrack; but on city streets, when we're chasing someone or getting chased by someone, she doesn't take enough chances.  She'd probably stop at the redlights and stuff.  I also put a cellular modem in her, a good firewall, an antivirus.   A crapload of bookmarks...  I also had to erase a bunch of the original programming, like how to play poker.  What am I gonna do, gamble for pennies with my own damn robot?  That's just stupid.
She yells at me from the kitchen asking me what I want to drink, I tell her to make me a mimosa.  She replies "Sí mi señor!"  I love it when she says that.
I start reading the news.  She comes in and says  "Here is your breakfast my lord."  I love that also.  Both the breakfast and her voice.

Update to my blog

Ok, so I've decided I'm not gonna do the fanfics I was writing anymore.  Instead I'll do an original series about an investigative journalist, and his trusty robot maid that he's modified to also be his bodyguard.  It's an action sci-fi series.  I'm also still gonna try to post political commentary and other stuff, and always with a witty humoristic take on things.  Except  the sci-fi with the robot, that's probably not gonna have too many jokes in it; but I'll keep it interesting.  I might even post some original art to illustrate it.

Martial Arts, Kiai!

So here is a video about Chuck Norris, who (whom?) has basically become a human joke.

For a man to be so hairy and a karate champion, and a Texas Ranger (just like the Lone Ranger), and Cherokee, and still lose a fight to Bruce Lee is shameful.
Still, my wishlist is to have wings like Bruce's, and jeans like ol' Chuck.  Although I usually fight naked.
I learned a long time ago from Akira Kobayashi that there is no more terrifying sight than a naked man with a katana.  I'm basically the real life version of Crying Freeman, except I use a katana instead of a dagger.  And I don't kill people, because they run when they see me naked.  I think people don't care so much about the possibility of getting their heads taken clean off or getting run through with a fucking sword, as much as they care about "why the fuck is this guy naked? NVM, run before he does unspeakable things to you!"
Because of this I am the undisputed, undefeated, naked swordsmanship champion of the world.  I do not think there will ever be challengers to the title.
Oh, I know you guys want to see Bruce Lee beating Chuck to a bloody pulp now, so here it is