Beowulf 2007

Really, my overall veredict, is that Zemeckis sucks. I mean, what man wouldn't have Angie Jollie as his wife; but he had her as a CGI character, with a fucking tentacle, and he totally fucked Beowulf? Stupid.  All of it stupid.

Although I woud have rather had her as a a wife before the plastic surgeries, and that's saying something, I think. I'm not even sure anymore. I can say this. I'm all natural. I'm not sure if people think I'm pretty, or ugly, and I really don't care.

If I could have Angie Jolly as a  wife, I probably would.  Whether she was the fake tits and collagen lips one or the one before all that shit; but I would prefer the all-natural one, and I am saying this pretty much from natural experience, men like to play with boobs; but naturals really are more fun.  Even if they aren't that big.

Also, he could have renamed the movie something else, because that is not Beowulf, and I know the point he was trying to make; but the story of Beowulf is different.  Very different, and there is a very huge plot hole there.  Namely, If Angie Jollie melted my sword with her bare hands, and told me she was lonely, and gifted me her son's head, and wanted me to fuck her, I would totally fuck her; but I would also tell Rothgar to post guards everywhere around her cave, and I would explain to him that the woman shoots fuckin lightning at will, and she really cannot be killed by any man, and that she loves gold, and that the horn is the bargaining chip keeping the peace.  Also, I would go back to fuck her very often, and just talk to her.  I mean, she said she was fucking lonely.