Ok. I am totally committed to this blog, because it allows me to speak out my mind in ways that I couldn't in other media. I can be edgy and absolutely creative, and even stupid here without anyone being able to say shit to me about it, because it's my thing.
One thing that I want you to know, is that as long as I live, and no matter how much money I make, I will never take this blog down. No matter how much money they offer me to take it down, or make it more vanilla or mainstream. I give fuckall about vanilla or mainstream.
Now, there is this: I am currently writing a short story based on the Call of Chtulu by HP Lovecraft. It's like a gritty reboot continuation of the story, and I'm probably not gonna publish it here, except for short excerpts, because I think it might be commercially viable, and maybe I could even get a movie option deal out of it, so I'm just gonna shop it to publishers and movie studios. After all, money is a very real thing; but there is a point at which I will not compromise.
You will continue to get K&S, opinions on the news, glimpses at even the most personal bits of my daily life (yeah, you pervs, I know you love reading about me having threesomes and fucking pornstars), weapon building tutorials (I know I haven't published any of that; but now I have powertools, so get ready because it will blow your mind), resin model building and painting tutorials (I just got an old Guyver 3 model that my parents sent me this morning), trike building (yeah, I am actually trying to build the trikes in the K&S story), and nobody will be able to shut me up. Even if this blogspot gets shut down, I'll just start a blog someplace else.
Peace out,
Mag ;)
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Alfredo Sauce
Ok, I generally do not like pasta with tomato based sauces. I like pesto sauces, and alfredo Sauces. I also like my pasta with shitloads of super chunky mushrooms.
Now down here, there is no Ramen Super Chunky Mushroom, so I just eschew tomato sauces altogether. I either make my own pesto, or I buy the Buitoni Creamy Alfredo Mushroom sauce. Except my local grocery store hardly ever carries it. So this is what I do: I buy dehydrated cream of mushroom powder (the Knorr brand is better than the McKormick. Way better), and I prepare it according to the instructions, except I use half the water and half the milk. Better than the Buitoni. Sprinkle liberally with Parmigiano, and enjoy.
"You put cheese on this? You the mothafucka!"
Now down here, there is no Ramen Super Chunky Mushroom, so I just eschew tomato sauces altogether. I either make my own pesto, or I buy the Buitoni Creamy Alfredo Mushroom sauce. Except my local grocery store hardly ever carries it. So this is what I do: I buy dehydrated cream of mushroom powder (the Knorr brand is better than the McKormick. Way better), and I prepare it according to the instructions, except I use half the water and half the milk. Better than the Buitoni. Sprinkle liberally with Parmigiano, and enjoy.
"You put cheese on this? You the mothafucka!"
Friday, July 29, 2011
Another Update. Talking Money and Sense
Ok guys. I want you to understand just how Adsense works, which is how I get paid. There is usually a big sponsor ad below my latest post. I have never had an issue with that. Then, on the right, there is the Amazon gadget that I actually put there myself, and if you click on it from this page to buy the album you like, I thank you. I love music, and I usually listen to music while reading. That's why I put that there. Below that, there are ads that may or may not be related to what I wrote. I have very little control over those. Please exercise judegement before clicking on those; but if you have more money than sense, don't blame me. Iv'e tried to shift those towards the things that I write about; but still, I have very limited control.
Some of those are for useful things, and some are for snake oil. Don't come crying to me if you are stupid enough to buy snake oil.
Oh! Also writing a story centered on Chtulu. Outside of the canon.
Some of those are for useful things, and some are for snake oil. Don't come crying to me if you are stupid enough to buy snake oil.
Oh! Also writing a story centered on Chtulu. Outside of the canon.
Crazy Astronauts
Maybe if I were an austronaut I could try to murder a romantic rival and there would be no consequences.
Are you fucking kidding me? Less than honorable? Maybe I'm not familiar with Navy lingo; but that merits a dishonorable discharge. Fucking squids.
Are you fucking kidding me? Less than honorable? Maybe I'm not familiar with Navy lingo; but that merits a dishonorable discharge. Fucking squids.
Food Rant
Might Hot Dogs Perchance Be Unhealthy? Durrr Derp Derp
Ok, when I have sausages in buns, it's usually Bockwurst, or Luisiana hot links, if I can even find them down here, and don't tell me you can't afford them. I am pretty much continuosly broke down here, so if I can afford Bockwurst more often that hot dogs, you can too. Although I do eat just plain hot dogs from time to time, and I do know just how bad they are for me, and anyone that doesn't is just an absolute fucktard. But I know I won't die from that because I eat a couple of those like every how many months? I think like 6 months ago I ate some of that. Eating healthy is not rocket science. I eat bacon every day. But it's Canadian bacon usually, which is leaner, and I only slice just right so it will fit on my daily baked potato. I only buy regular bacon (which is much fattier) when they're out ouf the Canadian at the store. I also eat a lot of fish and meat, and try to keep the sugar down a little, although I do love desserts. This is because I am on a potassium rich diet, and I don't particularly like bananas, although I never turn down a Salvadorean plaintain empanada.
I am excellent at making desserts and eating them, because I really want to know what is in everything I eat, and people tend to make desserts too sweet. My advice, take the level of sugar down 1/4 on most desserts, and they come out just right for the palate. You can taste the bitterness of the chocolate just right, the vanilla, the whipped cream, the creaminess of the cream cheese, the fruitiness of the fruits, the custardyness of the flan, the spicyness of the cinnamon and the nutmeg. And the merenguiness of the merengue (which is so merenguey it makes you want to dance, ergo, the name of the dance).
Still, I have dessert maybe once a day, and people tell me I look skinny; but that's because by my age, most Salvadoreans are supposed to be kind of chubby. I'm actually borderline overweight for my height; but that's because muscle weighs more than fat. Also, these fat guys with guns around here? I could kill them without even drawing a weapon or firing a shot by wrestling their guns away from them and pistol whipping them to death with them. That's just how I roll.
And believe me, the average Salvadorean diet is really not healthy; but you don't have to eat everything everyone around you is eating, and if you do eat all of those things, you don't have to eat all of it in one sitting. On the rare occassions I go to a restaurant, I usually ask to take like 1/2 of my meal to go.
Most of the time, I eat what I cook (and women love me for it), and I cook what I eat.
Your other option: Just eat a Big Mac, an chase your pop soda with a bunch of cornsyrup if you happen to be a phillistine; but you are really missing out if you do that. I don't really care if you do; but you and your children will go blind at an early age and have to have your legs amputated. This will be because you will have type II diabetes. Your choice. Learn how to cook, or go blind and legless.
Ok, when I have sausages in buns, it's usually Bockwurst, or Luisiana hot links, if I can even find them down here, and don't tell me you can't afford them. I am pretty much continuosly broke down here, so if I can afford Bockwurst more often that hot dogs, you can too. Although I do eat just plain hot dogs from time to time, and I do know just how bad they are for me, and anyone that doesn't is just an absolute fucktard. But I know I won't die from that because I eat a couple of those like every how many months? I think like 6 months ago I ate some of that. Eating healthy is not rocket science. I eat bacon every day. But it's Canadian bacon usually, which is leaner, and I only slice just right so it will fit on my daily baked potato. I only buy regular bacon (which is much fattier) when they're out ouf the Canadian at the store. I also eat a lot of fish and meat, and try to keep the sugar down a little, although I do love desserts. This is because I am on a potassium rich diet, and I don't particularly like bananas, although I never turn down a Salvadorean plaintain empanada.
I am excellent at making desserts and eating them, because I really want to know what is in everything I eat, and people tend to make desserts too sweet. My advice, take the level of sugar down 1/4 on most desserts, and they come out just right for the palate. You can taste the bitterness of the chocolate just right, the vanilla, the whipped cream, the creaminess of the cream cheese, the fruitiness of the fruits, the custardyness of the flan, the spicyness of the cinnamon and the nutmeg. And the merenguiness of the merengue (which is so merenguey it makes you want to dance, ergo, the name of the dance).
Still, I have dessert maybe once a day, and people tell me I look skinny; but that's because by my age, most Salvadoreans are supposed to be kind of chubby. I'm actually borderline overweight for my height; but that's because muscle weighs more than fat. Also, these fat guys with guns around here? I could kill them without even drawing a weapon or firing a shot by wrestling their guns away from them and pistol whipping them to death with them. That's just how I roll.
And believe me, the average Salvadorean diet is really not healthy; but you don't have to eat everything everyone around you is eating, and if you do eat all of those things, you don't have to eat all of it in one sitting. On the rare occassions I go to a restaurant, I usually ask to take like 1/2 of my meal to go.
Most of the time, I eat what I cook (and women love me for it), and I cook what I eat.
Your other option: Just eat a Big Mac, an chase your pop soda with a bunch of cornsyrup if you happen to be a phillistine; but you are really missing out if you do that. I don't really care if you do; but you and your children will go blind at an early age and have to have your legs amputated. This will be because you will have type II diabetes. Your choice. Learn how to cook, or go blind and legless.
Debt Ceiling Update
So this is what it pretty much has to be.
I don't think anybody is gonna be happy with this; but with time growing short, I'm thinking both the Senate and Obama are gonna go with this, and it will look like a triumph for the Republicans. Yea! They saved the world economy. Excuse me while I barf. Now let me search for my damn drivers.
I don't think anybody is gonna be happy with this; but with time growing short, I'm thinking both the Senate and Obama are gonna go with this, and it will look like a triumph for the Republicans. Yea! They saved the world economy. Excuse me while I barf. Now let me search for my damn drivers.
Little Update
Ok, I know I haven't been posting much. I have a chronic debilitating disease that actually renders me bedridden from time to time, and this week I had a couple of episodes. Also, was writing and recording some lyrics for my friend's song. Once we finish it, I'll print the link on here. I've kind of put off the animations for a while, because the next one's I'm trying to do are kind of complex. Might do a funny dubbed video over the weekend, If I don't get sick or something else doesn't come up. But what I'm most excited about, is K&S. I'm Still working on the latest batch of illustrations, although they are pretty much finished and I also have the next episode pretty much hashed out in my mind, I just haven't actually written it yet. I want all the details of it to be tight so there are no plot holes; but I'm not sure if I mentioned this: Somebody gave me a free scanner, so now the illustrations will look a lot better. The only hitch with that is that it's a pretty old scanner. Apparently it's made to work with XP, and I have Vista, and for that I need a particular set of drivers, which I haven't been able to find so far. If any of you guys has the Vista drivers for a Benq scanner 4300 you can send them to miltruiz506@hotmail.com, and you will get your K&S fix much sooner than you thought. Otherwise, I'm gonna have to figure it out (I know that there is a way to do it, so don't despair).
The Debt Ceiling
You want to raise your debt ceiling? I know just the guys...
Ok, it has to be raised by August 2nd, or else we are all fucked. If it is not raised, the US is fucked. Not only that; but the whole world is fucked. The ripple effect would have such a massive effect that whole nations might fall.
Do not despair. It will be raised. Neither party can afford to not raise it. Thus, it will be done.
Still, that begs the damn question, how did we get here? Why are we even discussing this so damn close to the wire (by the way, for those of you who might not know, the deadline is August 22. That's right, next fucking Tuesday for a decision that could ruin the whole world as we know it).
I blame the Democrats.
Yes, the Democrats. And when I say the Democrats, I don't mean every Democrat, or even every Democrat politician, I mean the Democratic leadership, and especially Obama. In the long run, I think most people will blame the Democrats too. Because they are stupid. The Republicans set them up for the most obvious trap in the world, and they fell for it.
I think Obama does whatever he thinks people want him to do. He probably couldn't order at a buffett without taking a straw poll on each item. For example, on the debt ceiling, he should have stood up to the Republicans on some of the concessions they wanted that are completely unreasonable (like raising the Medicare eligibility age. Can you see why they did that? Because older people are the demographic that votes most consistently, so if it gets passed under Obama, he has no chance at reelection next year, or); but because he acquiesed, even the Democrats might not give him the nomination next year. On the other hand there are some things the Republicans were asking for that were reasonable. Give in to those; but he shouldn't have been bargaining with them like he has. There should have been only one proposal. And then he should have just told the Republicans "hey, the ball is in your court." And he should have been sending out that message loud and clear through any means available to him. Call their bluff. That way if they actually sink the economy with their stalling, which of course they're not stupid to do that. It would be perceived as their fault, which it totally is; but because he is a weak leader, people will assign fault to him.
Still, I am confident the debt ceiling will be raised. Hopefully we will end up with a little more fiscal responsibility from governments worldwide because of it.
Although if it doesn't get raised, get ready to go all Mad Max on the hordes. I don't recommend leather pants though. Unless you live pretty far up north or south.
I'm already making myself a 3- piece nunchaku, a recurve, pump action repeating crossbow, and I'd like to make myself a Kunai like Scorpion's from Mortal Kombat, and a badass tomahawk; but I'd need a metal melting furnace for those last two.
Ok, it has to be raised by August 2nd, or else we are all fucked. If it is not raised, the US is fucked. Not only that; but the whole world is fucked. The ripple effect would have such a massive effect that whole nations might fall.
Do not despair. It will be raised. Neither party can afford to not raise it. Thus, it will be done.
Still, that begs the damn question, how did we get here? Why are we even discussing this so damn close to the wire (by the way, for those of you who might not know, the deadline is August 22. That's right, next fucking Tuesday for a decision that could ruin the whole world as we know it).
I blame the Democrats.
Yes, the Democrats. And when I say the Democrats, I don't mean every Democrat, or even every Democrat politician, I mean the Democratic leadership, and especially Obama. In the long run, I think most people will blame the Democrats too. Because they are stupid. The Republicans set them up for the most obvious trap in the world, and they fell for it.
I think Obama does whatever he thinks people want him to do. He probably couldn't order at a buffett without taking a straw poll on each item. For example, on the debt ceiling, he should have stood up to the Republicans on some of the concessions they wanted that are completely unreasonable (like raising the Medicare eligibility age. Can you see why they did that? Because older people are the demographic that votes most consistently, so if it gets passed under Obama, he has no chance at reelection next year, or); but because he acquiesed, even the Democrats might not give him the nomination next year. On the other hand there are some things the Republicans were asking for that were reasonable. Give in to those; but he shouldn't have been bargaining with them like he has. There should have been only one proposal. And then he should have just told the Republicans "hey, the ball is in your court." And he should have been sending out that message loud and clear through any means available to him. Call their bluff. That way if they actually sink the economy with their stalling, which of course they're not stupid to do that. It would be perceived as their fault, which it totally is; but because he is a weak leader, people will assign fault to him.
Still, I am confident the debt ceiling will be raised. Hopefully we will end up with a little more fiscal responsibility from governments worldwide because of it.
Although if it doesn't get raised, get ready to go all Mad Max on the hordes. I don't recommend leather pants though. Unless you live pretty far up north or south.
I'm already making myself a 3- piece nunchaku, a recurve, pump action repeating crossbow, and I'd like to make myself a Kunai like Scorpion's from Mortal Kombat, and a badass tomahawk; but I'd need a metal melting furnace for those last two.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Church of Scientology Bullshit
Bullshit
Most of my friends have done coke at some time or another, and they are all alive. The people that OD on drugs are usually opiate addicts.
Also, the mormons, the church of scientology, and the jehova's witnesses. All of that bullshit, it's all scams. Do not pay them a single red cent.
Most of my friends have done coke at some time or another, and they are all alive. The people that OD on drugs are usually opiate addicts.
Also, the mormons, the church of scientology, and the jehova's witnesses. All of that bullshit, it's all scams. Do not pay them a single red cent.
Mother Fucker
Haha! Somebody just called me a motherfucker on Youtube. That's not even an insult to me. That actually sounds badass. Motherfucking Magnimus. Now what if I were Grandmotherfucking Magnimus. Because I have actually fucked a lot of people's mothers. And even a few grandmothers. Because a few grandmothers are really sexy.
Henceforth you can call me Grandmotherfucking Magnimus. Yeah, there's a good chance I'm your father.
I'm like extreme Darth Vader. I'm the guy that tells you I'm not your father; but I'm the father of all your aunts and uncles.
Mag
Henceforth you can call me Grandmotherfucking Magnimus. Yeah, there's a good chance I'm your father.
I'm like extreme Darth Vader. I'm the guy that tells you I'm not your father; but I'm the father of all your aunts and uncles.
and after cutting your hand off.
Still, Boba Fett is my favorite Star Wars character. He doesn't even need the force, he's so badass. BTW if someting is trying to digest you for as long as the sarlacc would, you can easily climb out of the fucking thing. Boba is not dead. Boba will never die. He is too badass. Death is scared of Boba.
There are tons of clones of Jango in the Star Wars universe; but there is only one Boba.
Tentacles and teeth are no match for laser blasters and jetpacks, and rockets.
Mandalorians FTW. Armor and iron will? Awesome. That's how you kill a sarlacc.
And it's in the canon that Boba did escape the sarlacc, and killed it too. Boba does not fuck around.
Even Starkiller couldn't pull that off.
Boba would totally p'wn Starkiller in a fight. No quarter given, none asked.
;)Mag
More 419 Scammer Assholes. Why the Hell Are There So Many. Will They Ever Quit?
info@thesorysall.com
Notice that the message is supposed to be from Google; but it doesn't come from a Google server. Dead giveaway. Here's the email:
View the best locations from Google Earth - New 2011 Version
Fly anywhere in the word, find traveling directions and view all your friends and family directly on Google Earth
Google Earth is a Free software which allows you to view the world from the comfort of your PC. This great new add-on allows you to view earth top locations and easily map all your contacts.
- Easily add friends and family to your Google Earth
- Navigate and see the best locations earth has to offer
- Display your friends and family on the map for easy viewing
Once you receive this software be prepared to fly anywhere on Earth to view satellite imagery, maps, terrain, 3D buildings and even explore galaxies in the sky.
Best regards,
Daniel Davis
Earth Online Locations
I deleted all the links on that one, so you won't get a virus. Next up, another Google impersonator:
google.claims@gncn.net
Notice that this one not only does not come from a Google server; but I lived in the fucking Bay Area, where Google is actually based out of. Google is not based out of the fucking UK. Here's the email:
One more asshole:
johndouglas1@voila.fr
Dear Friend,
This message might meet you in utmost surprise, however,it's just my urgent need for foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction. I am a banker by profession from Burkina faso in west Africa and currently holding the post of Director Auditing and Accounting unit of the bank.I have the opportunity of transfering the left over funds ($15.5 million) of one of my bank clients who died along with his entire family on december 2003 in a plane crash. Hence,i am inviting you for a business deal where by this money can be shared between us in the ratio of 60/40 and 60 for me while 40 is for you.
If you agree to my business proposal.further details of the transfer will be forwarded to you as soon as i receive your return mail. have a great day. Yours Faithfully MR.JOHN DOUGLAS NB, MAKE SURE YOU KEEP THIS TRANSACTION AS YOUR TOP SECRECT AND MAKE IT CONFIDENTIAL TILL WE RECEIVES THE FUND INTO THE ACCOUNT THAT YOU WILL PROVIDE TO THE BANK. DONT DISCLOSE IT TO ANY BODY IN YOUR COUNTRY "PLEASE", BECAUSE THE SECRECY OF THIS TRANSACTION IS AS WELL AS THE SUCCESS OF IT.
BEST REGARDS
MR.JOHN DOUGLAS
Notice that the message is supposed to be from Google; but it doesn't come from a Google server. Dead giveaway. Here's the email:
View the best locations from Google Earth - New 2011 Version
Fly anywhere in the word, find traveling directions and view all your friends and family directly on Google Earth
Google Earth is a Free software which allows you to view the world from the comfort of your PC. This great new add-on allows you to view earth top locations and easily map all your contacts.
- Easily add friends and family to your Google Earth
- Navigate and see the best locations earth has to offer
- Display your friends and family on the map for easy viewing
Once you receive this software be prepared to fly anywhere on Earth to view satellite imagery, maps, terrain, 3D buildings and even explore galaxies in the sky.
Best regards,
Daniel Davis
Earth Online Locations
I deleted all the links on that one, so you won't get a virus. Next up, another Google impersonator:
google.claims@gncn.net
Notice that this one not only does not come from a Google server; but I lived in the fucking Bay Area, where Google is actually based out of. Google is not based out of the fucking UK. Here's the email:
GOOGLE WINNING NOTIFICATION.
We wish to congratulate you once again on this note, for being part of our lucky winners selected this year. This promotion was set-up to encourage the active use of the Google search engine and the Google ancillary services. Hence we do believe with your winning prize, you will continue to be active and patronage to this company. Google is now the world leading search engine worldwide, and in an effort to sure that it remains the most widely used search engine, an online e-mail balloting was carried out on 20th June 2011 without your knowledge, it was officially released Today 2
July 2011. We which to formally announced to you that your email address was attached to a lump sum o f
July 2011. We which to formally announced to you that your email address was attached to a lump sum o f
These are your award details.
Security Code Number: GUK/4532345G.
Ticket No: GUK/699/33/2011
Winning Number: GUK/877/798/2011
Information's required from you are part of our precautionary measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program. To claim your won prize, please contact our Foreign Transfer Manager Dr. Williams Gibson neatly filling the verification and fund release form below..
VERIFICATION AND FUNDS RELEASE FORM.
(1) Your contact address.
(2) Your Tel/Fax numbers.
(3) Your Nationality/Country.
(4) Your Full Name.
(5) Sex.
(6) Occupation
(7) Age.
(8) Ever won an online lottery?
Mode of Prize Remittance.
(1)Courier Delivery Of your Certified Winning Cheque Name and other Winning Documents safely to you.
You are advised to contact your Foreign Transfer Manager Dr. Williams Gibson with his private email details below to avoid unnecessary delay and complications:
***********************************************
FOREIGN CLAIMS MANAGER
Dr. Williams Gibson
GOOGLE SECURITY DEPARTMENT (UK).
E-mail:
Tel No: :+44 (70) 45727889
**********************************************
The Google Promotion Award Team has discovered a huge number of double claims due to winners informing close friends relatives and third parties about their winnings and also sharing their identification numbers. As a result of this, these friends try to claim the lottery on behalf of the real winners. The google promotion award committee has reached a decision from the headquarters at the United Kingdom that any double claim discovered by the Lottery Board will result to the disqualification of the winners lottery. So you are hereby strongly advised once more to keep your winnings strictly confidential until you claim your prize.
One more asshole:
johndouglas1@voila.fr
Dear Friend,
This message might meet you in utmost surprise, however,it's just my urgent need for foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction. I am a banker by profession from Burkina faso in west Africa and currently holding the post of Director Auditing and Accounting unit of the bank.I have the opportunity of transfering the left over funds ($15.5 million) of one of my bank clients who died along with his entire family on december 2003 in a plane crash. Hence,i am inviting you for a business deal where by this money can be shared between us in the ratio of 60/40 and 60 for me while 40 is for you.
If you agree to my business proposal.further details of the transfer will be forwarded to you as soon as i receive your return mail. have a great day. Yours Faithfully MR.JOHN DOUGLAS NB, MAKE SURE YOU KEEP THIS TRANSACTION AS YOUR TOP SECRECT AND MAKE IT CONFIDENTIAL TILL WE RECEIVES THE FUND INTO THE ACCOUNT THAT YOU WILL PROVIDE TO THE BANK. DONT DISCLOSE IT TO ANY BODY IN YOUR COUNTRY "PLEASE", BECAUSE THE SECRECY OF THIS TRANSACTION IS AS WELL AS THE SUCCESS OF IT.
BEST REGARDS
MR.JOHN DOUGLAS
Now Spam the fuck out of these phishers. I know I will. Let's show them we are not collectivelly stupid.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Swinging
Ok, so some of you seem to like the details of my sexual life. The Kelly Giraffe column I did a while back is one of the most watched page views, and it's not even on the main page of the blog. And if I'd known about the bestiality, I wouldn't have fucked her. Hell, it was hard enough for me to get hard for her without knowing about the bestiality. In fact, that's the only time I've taken Viagra to fuck a girl. But I did fuck her. I can't deny it. There's even video of it somewhere in the internet.
Now I'm gonna tell you a little more. When I lived in the US, I was involved in the swinging community. I've had sex in front of a lot of people. I've had sex with other men's wives while their husbands watched. The husbands asked me to have sex with their wives.
I also had an ongoing relationship with a couple for a little while. Her husband would blindfold her and sometimes tie her to the bed. I fucked his wife every Saturday night for several months, and she never even saw my face. He watched sometimes, or sometimes he just read a magazine or watched cable TV.
Once, I actually got paid to have sex with a man's wife. They paid me like $100 or $120 to be in that threesome, and the only reasons I even charged was that I was dead broke, and they lived in the SF peninsula, and I lived in Berkeley at the time. That's a long commute.
When I came to ES, I actually tried to start a swinger's club, because what else am I gonna do with this old house? But Salvadoreans are too uptight. They don't go for the freaky deaky.
Currently, I'm working on a threesome, and also on getting another man's wife pregnant. Probably will be doing the threesome tomorrow, Monday the 25th of July. And I'm gonna have a baby nine months from September. I actually hope to have a lot of babies with this man's wife. He doesn't want her anymore, so I'll take her.
Sexy sexyness sexxx. It's gonna happen.
Now I'm gonna tell you a little more. When I lived in the US, I was involved in the swinging community. I've had sex in front of a lot of people. I've had sex with other men's wives while their husbands watched. The husbands asked me to have sex with their wives.
I also had an ongoing relationship with a couple for a little while. Her husband would blindfold her and sometimes tie her to the bed. I fucked his wife every Saturday night for several months, and she never even saw my face. He watched sometimes, or sometimes he just read a magazine or watched cable TV.
Once, I actually got paid to have sex with a man's wife. They paid me like $100 or $120 to be in that threesome, and the only reasons I even charged was that I was dead broke, and they lived in the SF peninsula, and I lived in Berkeley at the time. That's a long commute.
When I came to ES, I actually tried to start a swinger's club, because what else am I gonna do with this old house? But Salvadoreans are too uptight. They don't go for the freaky deaky.
Currently, I'm working on a threesome, and also on getting another man's wife pregnant. Probably will be doing the threesome tomorrow, Monday the 25th of July. And I'm gonna have a baby nine months from September. I actually hope to have a lot of babies with this man's wife. He doesn't want her anymore, so I'll take her.
Sexy sexyness sexxx. It's gonna happen.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
More 419 Scammer Assholes
kini@cablespeed.com His email:
Banking transactions DEPARTMENT
1 FINSBURY AVENUE,
LONDON EC2M 2PP.
Can you be trusted? I am Mr. ANTHONY BOLTON from Harlesden, North West London, here in England. I work for (UBS) Investment Bank, London. I am writing you from my office that will be a huge benefit for both of us. In my department, with the Managing Director UBS Investment Bank London, I discovered abandoned sum of £ 15 Million Great British Pounds (Fifteen million pounds Great British) on an account belonging to one of our foreign customers Late Mr. Terry Ryan American citizen who unfortunately lost his life in a terrible insurgence A missing AirFrance jet carrying 228 people from Rio de Janeiro to Paris ran into a tower of thunderstorms and heavy turbulence.http://dsc.discovery.com/news/air-france-plane-crash/ He died in testate without will, including his wife and daughter only.
Choice of contacting you is aroused from the geographical nature of where you live, especially because of the sensitivity of the transaction. And confidentiality here. Now our banks (UBS) Investment Bank, London has been waiting for any of the relatives to come up for argument, but nobody did. Personally, I was unsuccessful in locating the relatives for three years now I seek your consent to present you as next of kin / beneficiary to the deceased so that the proceeds of this account valued at £ 15 million pounds paid to you.
Spam these assholes please. We are changing the game.
I am Mr.Peter Wong,a Director of Operation Officer in Hang Seng Bank.I have a business transaction of $22,000,000 US Dollars which I need your assistant.Please if you are interested reply me for more details about this operation. ThanksNext up, this asshole, who I believe I might already brougt to your attention:anthonybolton01@hotmail.comHis email to me:UBS Investment Bank
Banking transactions DEPARTMENT
1 FINSBURY AVENUE,
LONDON EC2M 2PP.
Can you be trusted? I am Mr. ANTHONY BOLTON from Harlesden, North West London, here in England. I work for (UBS) Investment Bank, London. I am writing you from my office that will be a huge benefit for both of us. In my department, with the Managing Director UBS Investment Bank London, I discovered abandoned sum of £ 15 Million Great British Pounds (Fifteen million pounds Great British) on an account belonging to one of our foreign customers Late Mr. Terry Ryan American citizen who unfortunately lost his life in a terrible insurgence A missing AirFrance jet carrying 228 people from Rio de Janeiro to Paris ran into a tower of thunderstorms and heavy turbulence.http://dsc.discovery.com/news/air-france-plane-crash/ He died in testate without will, including his wife and daughter only.
Choice of contacting you is aroused from the geographical nature of where you live, especially because of the sensitivity of the transaction. And confidentiality here. Now our banks (UBS) Investment Bank, London has been waiting for any of the relatives to come up for argument, but nobody did. Personally, I was unsuccessful in locating the relatives for three years now I seek your consent to present you as next of kin / beneficiary to the deceased so that the proceeds of this account valued at £ 15 million pounds paid to you.
Spam these assholes please. We are changing the game.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
419 Scam Spam Central
So these are the latest 419 scammers that I had contact me. I think they've realized people in the US are on to them , and now they think Salvadoreans are stupid. What they don't realize is that most Salvadoreans are extremely racist. I myself am not. I have had lady friends of all races, and I loved the hell out of all of them; especially some of the black ones; but I do hate these scammers. The email adresses will precede their emails. You all know what to do. Let's all unite in letting these assholes know just how stupid they are.
joykipkalya30@gmail.com
My Dearest,
I know you will be surprise to receive this email, but Before I go further I will like you to understand that, I am writing this mail to you With due respect trust and humanity, I appeal to you to exercise a little patience and read through my letter I feel quite safe dealing with you in this important business, honestly i am writing this email to you with pains, tears and sorrow from my heart, i will really like to have a good relationship with you and i have a special reason why i decided to contact you, i decided to contact you due to the urgency of my present situation here in the refugee camp. My name is Miss. Joy Kipkalya Kones, 25yrs old female and I from Kenya here in Africa; my father was the former Kenyan road Minister. He and Assistant Minister of Home Affairs Lorna Labo so had been on board the Cessna 210, which was headed to Kericho and crashed in a remote area called Kajong'a, in western Kenya. The plane crashed on Tuesday 10th, June, 2008.
After the burial of my beloved father, my stepmother and uncle conspired and sold all my father's properties to an Italian Expertrate which they shared the money they sold from the properties among themselves and live nothing for me. Unfortunately to me I fined my father's briefcase and when I opened it I found a document which my Father used to deposited amount of money in one bank here in Burkina Faso, with my name as the next of kin. I travelled to Burkina Faso here I am, to withdraw the money for a better life
so that I can take care of myself and start up a new life and also further my education, when I arrival to the bank, the Bank foreign Operation Department Director whom I meet in pe rson told me that my father instruction to their bank is that the fund would only be release to me when I am married or present a trustee/partner who will help me and invest the fund overseas after the transfer, and the bank ask me to go and look for a foreign partner, that was why am contacting you, which I believe that you are going to be honest and reliable person that will help me and stand as my trustee/partner, so that I can present you to the Bank for the release and transfer of the inherited fund into your bank account in your country.
I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well I will say that my mind convinced me that you will be the true person to help me. Moreover, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me t o relocate to your country because my stepmothers have threatened to assinate me. The fund my Father deposited into the bank, is ($8.5 USD) Million United State Dollars, and I have confirmed from the bank here in Burkina Faso, on my arrival, You will also help me to place the fund in a good profitable business venture in your Country, However you will also help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can further my education. It is my intention to compensate you with 40% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. Now my dear as soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest and wiliness to help me, I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and wilingness to help me and also handle this transaction sincerely. Awaiting your urgent and positive response. Please my dear I want you to keep t his as a top secret only to your self for now until the bank will release and transfer my inherited fund to you as my appointed trustee/partner. I beg you once again not to disclose this to any body until i come over your country because I am afraid of my wicked stepmother who has threatened to kill me and have my inherited fund alone. I thank you very much and am expecting to hear from you soonest.
Yours Sincerely
Joy Kipkalya Kones.
Next up is
musaali0001@gmail.com
This is the email I received:
And finally:
mahanimat@ymail.com
joykipkalya30@gmail.com
My Dearest,
I know you will be surprise to receive this email, but Before I go further I will like you to understand that, I am writing this mail to you With due respect trust and humanity, I appeal to you to exercise a little patience and read through my letter I feel quite safe dealing with you in this important business, honestly i am writing this email to you with pains, tears and sorrow from my heart, i will really like to have a good relationship with you and i have a special reason why i decided to contact you, i decided to contact you due to the urgency of my present situation here in the refugee camp. My name is Miss. Joy Kipkalya Kones, 25yrs old female and I from Kenya here in Africa; my father was the former Kenyan road Minister. He and Assistant Minister of Home Affairs Lorna Labo so had been on board the Cessna 210, which was headed to Kericho and crashed in a remote area called Kajong'a, in western Kenya. The plane crashed on Tuesday 10th, June, 2008.
After the burial of my beloved father, my stepmother and uncle conspired and sold all my father's properties to an Italian Expertrate which they shared the money they sold from the properties among themselves and live nothing for me. Unfortunately to me I fined my father's briefcase and when I opened it I found a document which my Father used to deposited amount of money in one bank here in Burkina Faso, with my name as the next of kin. I travelled to Burkina Faso here I am, to withdraw the money for a better life
so that I can take care of myself and start up a new life and also further my education, when I arrival to the bank, the Bank foreign Operation Department Director whom I meet in pe rson told me that my father instruction to their bank is that the fund would only be release to me when I am married or present a trustee/partner who will help me and invest the fund overseas after the transfer, and the bank ask me to go and look for a foreign partner, that was why am contacting you, which I believe that you are going to be honest and reliable person that will help me and stand as my trustee/partner, so that I can present you to the Bank for the release and transfer of the inherited fund into your bank account in your country.
I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well I will say that my mind convinced me that you will be the true person to help me. Moreover, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me t o relocate to your country because my stepmothers have threatened to assinate me. The fund my Father deposited into the bank, is ($8.5 USD) Million United State Dollars, and I have confirmed from the bank here in Burkina Faso, on my arrival, You will also help me to place the fund in a good profitable business venture in your Country, However you will also help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can further my education. It is my intention to compensate you with 40% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. Now my dear as soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest and wiliness to help me, I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and wilingness to help me and also handle this transaction sincerely. Awaiting your urgent and positive response. Please my dear I want you to keep t his as a top secret only to your self for now until the bank will release and transfer my inherited fund to you as my appointed trustee/partner. I beg you once again not to disclose this to any body until i come over your country because I am afraid of my wicked stepmother who has threatened to kill me and have my inherited fund alone. I thank you very much and am expecting to hear from you soonest.
Yours Sincerely
Joy Kipkalya Kones.
Next up is
musaali0001@gmail.com
This is the email I received:
FROM Mr.Musa Ali.
The Head of File and Auditing Department,
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A)
Ouagadougou Burkina-Faso ( West Africa )
REMITTANCE OF US$20,5;MILLION
CONFIDENTIAL IS THE CASE. VERY URGENT ATTENTION
This message might meet you in utmost surprise, however, it's just my Urgent need for foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction I am a banker by profession from Burkina Faso in West Africa and currently holding the post of director Auditing and accounting unit of the bank.
I have the opportunity of transferring the left over Funds ($20.5 million) of one of my bank clients who died Along with his entire family in a plane crash.
All expenses incurred by you and me in this transaction will be deducted out from the 10% of the total fund before the sharing of the fund according to the percentages agreed. I will come over to your country as soon as the transfer is over to receive my own share of the fund for further investments by your advice. Please I want you to understand that a stitch in time saves nine so write back and tell me if you really want to carry out this transaction with me.
From banking experience it will take up to fourteen(14) working days to conclude this transfer. I sincerely need your help because this might be my first and last opportunity of hitting big money. I also would want you to treat this affair as both urgent, top secret and confidential. I want you to also know that this transaction will involve some expenses which will be shared among both of us.
This payment will be effected through Swift Telegraphic Transfer.
Your Urgent response is needed for immediate transfer of this fund in to your receiving bank account.
http://newswww.bbc.net.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/oxfordshire/4537663.stm
(FILL THIS FORM BELLOW PLEASE AND RESEND IT TO ME).
Your name in full.......................... ........
Your country....................... ..................
Your age........................... ....................
Your cell phone......................... ...........
Your occupation.................... ...............
Your sex........................... ....................
Your International passport..................
Your marital status........................ ........
Your bank name.......................... ..........
Best Regards,
Mr.Musa Ali.
Seriously? Because my middle name is not stupid. No sale, fucktard.And finally:
mahanimat@ymail.com
Salam,
Saya MAHANI BT MAT, saya bekerja sebagai Marketing Officer di sebuah syarikat pemprosesan batu mulia di UK.di sini Saya ingin memperkenalkan kepada encik peluang perniagaan yang besar kenuntungannya,saya memerlukan bantuan encik dan kerjasama encik untuk memajukan perniagaan ini.saya menghubungi encik kerana saya tidak ingin kehilangan rakan kongsi saya di dalam perniagaan ini.saya tahu bahawa saya dan encik akan mendapatkan feadah yang baik daripada perniagaan ini di masa akan datang. Sekarang saya hanya ingin encik menjadi pembekal (agent) kepada syarikat saya bekerja dan encik boleh mendapat keuntungan daripada peluang perniagaan ini . Syarikat saya memerlukan sebuah produk yang disebut (DOUL WASHING LIQUID). Para encopi wash liquid adalah cecair kimia saintifik bar substansi, sejenis pelincir, terutama digunakan di makmal untuk gemological
pemurnian merawat atau menerangkan,memasuki ke dalam berlian dan mengewap keluar kotoran di dalam berlian dan batu-batu berharga sepertinya.
Pembekal asal produk ini adalah di (Malaysia) sehingga lah pembekal produk langsung syarikat KAMI INI mengalami kemalangan di sini {uk} ,dia adalah pengurus pemasaran dan sejak dia kemalangan monopoli ini telah tergendala.saya hanya ingin encik menjadi agen di antara penjual dan pembeli .Ini adalah perniagaan besar untuk saya dan encik dan akan mendapat keuntungan besar.saya hanya memerlukan kerjasama untuk menjadikan perniagaan ini berjaya.Saya akan memberi anda maklumat lebih lanjut tentang hal ini jika anda bersedia untuk menjadi sebagai agen untuk membekalkan produk ke syarikat kami.
Pertama, saya akan perkenalkan anda pembekal (agent)kepada syarikat saya nanti. Mengikut peratusan, awalnya harga beli yang sebenarnya produk tersebut oleh syarikat per Carton adalah 4,000.00 USD, sedangkan di (Malaysia) harga jual tempatan adalah 2,100.00 USD dan syarikat saya memerlukan tidak kurang daripada 200 Cartons.
saya ingin encik menjadi agen link kami yang menghubungkan penjual tempatan di Malaysia secaralangsung kepada syarikat membeli maka margin keuntungan akan digunakan bersama berdua 50% untuk encik, sementara 50% kepada saya.sekiranya encik dapat membantu saya mengurus perniagaan jual beli produk ini saya amat berterimakasih.kemudian saya akan membincangkan pekara ini bersama pengurus syarikat saya. saya yakin dan percaya encik boleh menyediakan produk ini kepada syarikat.di sini juga saya memfailkan butiran dari segi harga dan cara bayaran maka kita boleh mengambil daripada permulaan perniagaan ini. encik saya mengharap agar encik dapat membalas email saya ini secepat mungkin, agar saya dapat mengemailkan number telephone penjual di malaysia gar encik dapat menghubungi penjual untuk bertanya sama ada penjual tersebut masih mempunyai stock untuk di bekalkan kepada encik.sebelum syarikat kami akan menghantar pengurus pembelian pergi ke Malaysia untuk membeli produk dari encik secara tunai.Terima kasih atas kerjasama encik,saya mengharap dan menunggu balasan email daripada encik.
Wassalam,
MAHANI
Saya MAHANI BT MAT, saya bekerja sebagai Marketing Officer di sebuah syarikat pemprosesan batu mulia di UK.di sini Saya ingin memperkenalkan kepada encik peluang perniagaan yang besar kenuntungannya,saya memerlukan bantuan encik dan kerjasama encik untuk memajukan perniagaan ini.saya menghubungi encik kerana saya tidak ingin kehilangan rakan kongsi saya di dalam perniagaan ini.saya tahu bahawa saya dan encik akan mendapatkan feadah yang baik daripada perniagaan ini di masa akan datang. Sekarang saya hanya ingin encik menjadi pembekal (agent) kepada syarikat saya bekerja dan encik boleh mendapat keuntungan daripada peluang perniagaan ini . Syarikat saya memerlukan sebuah produk yang disebut (DOUL WASHING LIQUID). Para encopi wash liquid adalah cecair kimia saintifik bar substansi, sejenis pelincir, terutama digunakan di makmal untuk gemological
pemurnian merawat atau menerangkan,memasuki ke dalam berlian dan mengewap keluar kotoran di dalam berlian dan batu-batu berharga sepertinya.
Pembekal asal produk ini adalah di (Malaysia) sehingga lah pembekal produk langsung syarikat KAMI INI mengalami kemalangan di sini {uk} ,dia adalah pengurus pemasaran dan sejak dia kemalangan monopoli ini telah tergendala.saya hanya ingin encik menjadi agen di antara penjual dan pembeli .Ini adalah perniagaan besar untuk saya dan encik dan akan mendapat keuntungan besar.saya hanya memerlukan kerjasama untuk menjadikan perniagaan ini berjaya.Saya akan memberi anda maklumat lebih lanjut tentang hal ini jika anda bersedia untuk menjadi sebagai agen untuk membekalkan produk ke syarikat kami.
Pertama, saya akan perkenalkan anda pembekal (agent)kepada syarikat saya nanti. Mengikut peratusan, awalnya harga beli yang sebenarnya produk tersebut oleh syarikat per Carton adalah 4,000.00 USD, sedangkan di (Malaysia) harga jual tempatan adalah 2,100.00 USD dan syarikat saya memerlukan tidak kurang daripada 200 Cartons.
saya ingin encik menjadi agen link kami yang menghubungkan penjual tempatan di Malaysia secaralangsung kepada syarikat membeli maka margin keuntungan akan digunakan bersama berdua 50% untuk encik, sementara 50% kepada saya.sekiranya encik dapat membantu saya mengurus perniagaan jual beli produk ini saya amat berterimakasih.kemudian saya akan membincangkan pekara ini bersama pengurus syarikat saya. saya yakin dan percaya encik boleh menyediakan produk ini kepada syarikat.di sini juga saya memfailkan butiran dari segi harga dan cara bayaran maka kita boleh mengambil daripada permulaan perniagaan ini. encik saya mengharap agar encik dapat membalas email saya ini secepat mungkin, agar saya dapat mengemailkan number telephone penjual di malaysia gar encik dapat menghubungi penjual untuk bertanya sama ada penjual tersebut masih mempunyai stock untuk di bekalkan kepada encik.sebelum syarikat kami akan menghantar pengurus pembelian pergi ke Malaysia untuk membeli produk dari encik secara tunai.Terima kasih atas kerjasama encik,saya mengharap dan menunggu balasan email daripada encik.
Wassalam,
MAHANI
What the fuck? At least contact me in a language I know, asshole; but I can tell it's just a 419 scam, so let him or them try to decipher my reply.
One more (I guess they like to do their do on weekends):
emakin29@tlen.pl
Now the email:
FROM MR. Emma Akin
AUDITING MANAGER
BANK OF AFRICA MANAGMENT.
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO.
Dear Friend
Listen attentively; this is important information and I would likeyou to read this letter very carefully and reply. Firstly, my nameis Mr. Emmanuel Akin, auditing and accounting manager; foreignremittance department of bank of Africa management OuagadougouBurkina Faso.
I got your contact from the internet division of chamber underbusiness relation here in Ouagadougou Burkina Faso. I am searchingfor trust worthy person who will assist me to implement this urgenttransfer. l discovered the sum of Ten Million Six Hundred ThousandUnited States Dollars (USD$10.6M) belonging to a Lebanese’s Man; adeceased customer of this bank. The fund has been lying in asuspense account without anybody coming to put claim over the moneysince the death of account owner who was involved in the December25th 2003 Benin plane crash.
Listen very carefully, since we got the information about hisdeath, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over andclaim the total sum because we cannot release it unless somebodyapplies for it as next of kin to the deceased as indicated in ourbanking guidelines and laws but unfortunately I learnt that all hissupposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at theplane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is thereforeupon this discovery last month that I decided to make this businessproposal to you and release all the information and documentationsto you as the next of kin to the deceased for safety and subsequentdisbursement since nobody is coming for it and I don't wantthis money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill. Thebanking law and guideline here stipulates that if such moneyremained unclaimed after 10 years, the money will be transferredinto the bank treas ury as unclaimed fund.
The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business isoccasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to him. I therefore solicitfor your assistance to come forward as the next of kin. I haveagreed that 40% of this money will be for you as the beneficiary inrespect of the provision of your Account and services rendered, 55%would be for me while 5% will be for expenses incurred during thecause of this transaction If the money is transferred to yourAccount from {BANK OF AFRICA} management, I personally will comeimmediately to your country for my own share of the money as soonas you confirmed the total sum in your bank account. I expect youto keep this business strictly confidential and secret as you maywish to know that I am Bank official here with my position. Be restassured that this business is 100% risk free on both side and everyarrangement to transfer this money t o the Account you are going toprovide have been concluded provided we maintain theconfidentiality and secrecy involved.
Upon your acceptance to do this deal with me the blow informationis needed.
Your full name.....
Your date of birth.........
Your occupations.........
Your country of origin.....
Your personal mobile No..........
Yours faithfully,
Mr. Emma Akin
Auditing Section
BANK OF AFRICA MANAGEMENT.
Ouagadougou Burkina Faso.
One more (I guess they like to do their do on weekends):
emakin29@tlen.pl
Now the email:
FROM MR. Emma Akin
AUDITING MANAGER
BANK OF AFRICA MANAGMENT.
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO.
Dear Friend
Listen attentively; this is important information and I would likeyou to read this letter very carefully and reply. Firstly, my nameis Mr. Emmanuel Akin, auditing and accounting manager; foreignremittance department of bank of Africa management OuagadougouBurkina Faso.
I got your contact from the internet division of chamber underbusiness relation here in Ouagadougou Burkina Faso. I am searchingfor trust worthy person who will assist me to implement this urgenttransfer. l discovered the sum of Ten Million Six Hundred ThousandUnited States Dollars (USD$10.6M) belonging to a Lebanese’s Man; adeceased customer of this bank. The fund has been lying in asuspense account without anybody coming to put claim over the moneysince the death of account owner who was involved in the December25th 2003 Benin plane crash.
Listen very carefully, since we got the information about hisdeath, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over andclaim the total sum because we cannot release it unless somebodyapplies for it as next of kin to the deceased as indicated in ourbanking guidelines and laws but unfortunately I learnt that all hissupposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at theplane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is thereforeupon this discovery last month that I decided to make this businessproposal to you and release all the information and documentationsto you as the next of kin to the deceased for safety and subsequentdisbursement since nobody is coming for it and I don't wantthis money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill. Thebanking law and guideline here stipulates that if such moneyremained unclaimed after 10 years, the money will be transferredinto the bank treas ury as unclaimed fund.
The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business isoccasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to him. I therefore solicitfor your assistance to come forward as the next of kin. I haveagreed that 40% of this money will be for you as the beneficiary inrespect of the provision of your Account and services rendered, 55%would be for me while 5% will be for expenses incurred during thecause of this transaction If the money is transferred to yourAccount from {BANK OF AFRICA} management, I personally will comeimmediately to your country for my own share of the money as soonas you confirmed the total sum in your bank account. I expect youto keep this business strictly confidential and secret as you maywish to know that I am Bank official here with my position. Be restassured that this business is 100% risk free on both side and everyarrangement to transfer this money t o the Account you are going toprovide have been concluded provided we maintain theconfidentiality and secrecy involved.
Upon your acceptance to do this deal with me the blow informationis needed.
Your full name.....
Your date of birth.........
Your occupations.........
Your country of origin.....
Your personal mobile No..........
Yours faithfully,
Mr. Emma Akin
Auditing Section
BANK OF AFRICA MANAGEMENT.
Ouagadougou Burkina Faso.
Now you all know what to do. With the power of the Death Star we can obliterate these fuckers. Let's do it. Use the force young padawans.
Ok, Just Spitting Out My Mouth. Dalé!!! Longest Hike Ever. Most Interesting Cab Drive Back Ever. Kilka and Sophia update.
Ok, so Josie, like three days ago killed a bat. She didn't eat it; but she ate its wings. so I had to take her to get a rabies shot yesterday. The problem was everyione I asked directed me to a place that I knew was the wrong place. I knew I had to get this done, so I went on the longest hike of my life. Along the way a dog larger than her seemed to be wanting to fuck Josie. I wasn't about to let that happen; but I guess his owner had some anger management issues to work out, so he kicked his own dog. I object to that kind of treatment of dogs right off the bat; but at that point, Josie and I had been walking so long and so far, I wasn't about to even try to get into an arguement with some dude about the right way to treat his dog, I mean, we were going to a place far away, both a little dehydrated, and very tired. We could have taken a cab; but none of the cab drivers I met on the way even knew the place. I'm actually surprised I didn't have a heart attack or passed out on the way because of my debilitating disease that leaches potassium from my body. That's probably the longest hike I've ever been on, and certainly the longest one Josie has ever been on. She's only like a year old.
Also, on the way, we had to bactrack a lot, because asking for directions a lot of people sent us the wrong way. The most memorable of the asking for directions thing was when I asked this family for directions, and when they actually pointed me on the right way, their little kid was like "bye bye doggie."
So we got her the rabies vaccine. Then we had to come back. Easier to just hail a cab, and don'tchanow? There was one right outside the place. I can tell the guy a few points of reference and get me home.
Now this guy was honking at all the girls and yelling stuff at them out the window. I don't blame him. I used to do the same thing when I was in my twenties. Mostly for shits and giggles. He even got a call from his girlfriend right before dropping me off. Got all salacious with her; but I'm not self-righteous at all. In fact, I was amused by it.
I paid the man and wished him luck.
Hell, on the way I even told him that I have had lovers of every race (because I have, when I lived in the US, because the girls up there are carazaaaayyyy horny).
Anyhoo. Kilka and Sophia. Working on the story and the illustrations. Got The free scanner from my cousin. Can't get it to work because I don't have the drivers. My computer uses Vista. He gave me the scanner; but he doesn't have the disc with the drivers. I can't find the drivers online; but I know of another really complex way to get the thing to work, although if you have the drivers for a BENQ 4300 scanner, email them to me , an you will get a ton more Kilka and Sophia really fast. Certainly the Mateba, and Kilkas helmet, and Sophia in her naked glory, and a few more things, like the trikes before they transform (working out how they would realistically transform is a lot more complex than you might think), and the Gerlich effect bullpup I haven't even mentioned in the story yet. All the specs on all of that in the next episode. Might be as late as Sunday, because you might have noticed I'm doing some activism. Tomorrow, I have to run errands, Saturday, I'm sowing some potatos and other gardening and housekeeping stuff. Also, a little private matter might divert me. In fact, let me address that right now.
;) Mag
Also, on the way, we had to bactrack a lot, because asking for directions a lot of people sent us the wrong way. The most memorable of the asking for directions thing was when I asked this family for directions, and when they actually pointed me on the right way, their little kid was like "bye bye doggie."
So we got her the rabies vaccine. Then we had to come back. Easier to just hail a cab, and don'tchanow? There was one right outside the place. I can tell the guy a few points of reference and get me home.
Now this guy was honking at all the girls and yelling stuff at them out the window. I don't blame him. I used to do the same thing when I was in my twenties. Mostly for shits and giggles. He even got a call from his girlfriend right before dropping me off. Got all salacious with her; but I'm not self-righteous at all. In fact, I was amused by it.
I paid the man and wished him luck.
Hell, on the way I even told him that I have had lovers of every race (because I have, when I lived in the US, because the girls up there are carazaaaayyyy horny).
Anyhoo. Kilka and Sophia. Working on the story and the illustrations. Got The free scanner from my cousin. Can't get it to work because I don't have the drivers. My computer uses Vista. He gave me the scanner; but he doesn't have the disc with the drivers. I can't find the drivers online; but I know of another really complex way to get the thing to work, although if you have the drivers for a BENQ 4300 scanner, email them to me , an you will get a ton more Kilka and Sophia really fast. Certainly the Mateba, and Kilkas helmet, and Sophia in her naked glory, and a few more things, like the trikes before they transform (working out how they would realistically transform is a lot more complex than you might think), and the Gerlich effect bullpup I haven't even mentioned in the story yet. All the specs on all of that in the next episode. Might be as late as Sunday, because you might have noticed I'm doing some activism. Tomorrow, I have to run errands, Saturday, I'm sowing some potatos and other gardening and housekeeping stuff. Also, a little private matter might divert me. In fact, let me address that right now.
;) Mag
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Update on Yukari
I heard the charges are being dropped, also, Acquit Yukari Mehamae on Facebook is absolutely trying to destroy the TSA and build a legal defense fund for anyone that challenges the TSA. I encourage each and everyone of you to join this effort.
Now excuse me. I have to take my dog to get her antirabies shot. I don't know how the hell she managed this in the dark; but she killed a fruit bat. She didn't eat most of it; but apparently she ate its wings, and bats carry rabies. I asked the previous owner if she was vaccinated. He told me no, But for a "nominal" fee I will vaccinate her for you. Ok, Mr. pants on fire, why the hell did you not vaccinate her before?
Well, anyways, got this shit done. Also, got a free scanner; but I'm trying to figure out the drivers. More on that later.
Now excuse me. I have to take my dog to get her antirabies shot. I don't know how the hell she managed this in the dark; but she killed a fruit bat. She didn't eat most of it; but apparently she ate its wings, and bats carry rabies. I asked the previous owner if she was vaccinated. He told me no, But for a "nominal" fee I will vaccinate her for you. Ok, Mr. pants on fire, why the hell did you not vaccinate her before?
Well, anyways, got this shit done. Also, got a free scanner; but I'm trying to figure out the drivers. More on that later.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
TSA Need to Go.
Look, the only way I would be ok with Yukari being charged, is if all those TSA agents got charged for multiple counts of the same thing, because they do it every day. Even on kids. Dozens of times a day. Have you heard the story of the guy who was escorted off a plane for having a bagel? Because these days the airlines don't even provide more than peanuts as a snack. Let's put it all into perspective. If the airlines were really serious about security, there would be a number of mesaures that could be implemented before boarding a plane, none of those would include sexual molestation, and all of them would be less intrusive and more effective. K-9 units, for example. A well trained dog knows how to sniff explosives out. You got a knife or a gun? Metal detector. After you are in the plane, there would be an armored bulkhead to get into the cockpit, and the pilots would be required to be armed. Seriously? Are we collectively p'unked? I believe we just might be. By obama. He said he was for change. The part he didn't say was that it was for the worst. I didn't mean for the worse BTW. I meant to say for the worst. Because this is the worst. There is nothing about this clusterfuck that is good. Nothing at all.
Unemployment at 9%? Fantastic, what a bangup job, barrack hussein.
Lost the congressional elections after having both of the houses in the palm of your hand? I laud you for that, oh lord!
In case you haven't realized it, I'm saying Sarah Palin (yes, that simpleton that we all want to see naked) could beat obama (for some goddamned reason, neither barrack, nor hussein, nor obama will capitalize on my keyboard, no matter how much I press the shift or cap keys) in the next election. god (fuck, that won't capitalize either for some goddamned reason, I mean, I can do it any other way. Look: George, GGGGGGG, now let's try it again, god. It just doesn't work) or Godzilla! (see! It worked there!) help us all. Well, then, if you can't beat them, join them.
Godzilla help us all. Actually, seems better than the alternative sometimes. The alternative being Ultraman.
Unemployment at 9%? Fantastic, what a bangup job, barrack hussein.
Lost the congressional elections after having both of the houses in the palm of your hand? I laud you for that, oh lord!
In case you haven't realized it, I'm saying Sarah Palin (yes, that simpleton that we all want to see naked) could beat obama (for some goddamned reason, neither barrack, nor hussein, nor obama will capitalize on my keyboard, no matter how much I press the shift or cap keys) in the next election. god (fuck, that won't capitalize either for some goddamned reason, I mean, I can do it any other way. Look: George, GGGGGGG, now let's try it again, god. It just doesn't work) or Godzilla! (see! It worked there!) help us all. Well, then, if you can't beat them, join them.
Godzilla help us all. Actually, seems better than the alternative sometimes. The alternative being Ultraman.
China is Awesome. Not!
After all is said and done. After millions of people die. After the millions that have already died under Chinese dictatorship, you can thank that asshole Bill Clinton for granting the Red Chinese "most favored nation trading status." The western world will definitely have to acknowledge, eventually, why we even allowed the trade surplus to grow. It was because of Bill Clinton. And George W, and Obama, are both equally responsible for not bringing it up. Just so you know, I'm not an economist; but I'm also not a dumbass. This particular thing, the trade surplus with China, it's gonna change the whole landscape of the world. And it won't happen in two to three years. It will happen within a matter of months.
Gropin' TSA Agents
Ok, so Yukari Mihamae has been arrested. She was trying to board a plane, and didn't want to go through the scanners, so they were gonna sexually molest her, except she squeezed the TSA agent's boob first. Now I call that a preemptive strike. They are now charging her with sexual abuse for what the TSA agents do every day, even to kids. There is a page on Facebook advocating she be cleared. It's called Acquit Yukari Mihamae. They are calling for a letter writing campaign so the DA will drop charges. I already wrote mine. It goes like this:
Good day to you sir,
I am writing to you concerining the case of Yukari Mihamae. She is being charged with sexual abuse for allegedly groping a TSA agent.
I think it bears pointing out that what she is accused of is what TSA agents do dozens of times a day to members of the travelling public with absolute impunity.
Therefore, in the name of justice and equity I demand that you either release this woman, or charge the TSA agents that perpetrate these same deeds on the population at large with multiple counts of the same offenses.
Hoping for liberty and justice for ALL,
Mag
So I already did my part, now you crazy kids get out there and do yours. If the TSA were about to grope me I'd be like "get your hands off me you damn, dirty ape!"
Good day to you sir,
I am writing to you concerining the case of Yukari Mihamae. She is being charged with sexual abuse for allegedly groping a TSA agent.
I think it bears pointing out that what she is accused of is what TSA agents do dozens of times a day to members of the travelling public with absolute impunity.
Therefore, in the name of justice and equity I demand that you either release this woman, or charge the TSA agents that perpetrate these same deeds on the population at large with multiple counts of the same offenses.
Hoping for liberty and justice for ALL,
Mag
So I already did my part, now you crazy kids get out there and do yours. If the TSA were about to grope me I'd be like "get your hands off me you damn, dirty ape!"
Friday, July 15, 2011
Kilka and Sophia Ep 5: by Satellite and Live
The defense of Kilka's Industrial factory against the coup d'etat:
All photoshop done by Daniel Aguilar, if you want to call him, just comment, I'll give you his contact info.
Kilka's helmet:
I don't have a scanner yet, and it needs more work; but I don't have like a whole staff of illusrators, and I'm working on all aspects of the armor, and the Sophia reboot (she was like a supporting actress in the original series I conceived her for), plus the weapons for the series, and the trikes (trust me, the trikes are gonna be the hardest part of the series to fully design, because if this series takes off, you will actually be able to buy a civilian version of one, and if you are a representative of a government, you will be actually able to buy a military version, with the transforming abilities. I am serious as a heart attack about thar). So here goes a little background info on the year 2050:
This is what the fashionable industrialist/inventor of the year 2050 is wearing this year. Most people above a certain level of income have robot companions. Some have more than one. Like for example, a celebrity or a politician might have several killbots with him protecting him when they are in public. Robotic bodyguards. But these robots are very limited in their abilities. They have some internally based weapons, and their intelligence is fairly limited; but they can only be upgraded at a great expense of time and effort. Most people that are that rich, simply scrap them and buy next year's model. This is a bit of a problem, because most governments are very poor, and cannot provide adequate protection for their citizens, not enough police or military, so private companies have had to step up with the killbots. It is in fact, perfectly legal for any citizen to carry machine guns or grenade launchers (and because of the extremely high crime rate everywhere, most people do not ever leave their houses unarmed), or to be protected by killbots that are equipped with them, and as all these things go, the criminal element has even started to buy killbots; but since all drugs, and prostitution, as long as it does not involve pimping or underage girls, or human trafficking, have been legallized, they have gotten desperate. Mostly they survive on extortion and robbery, and some of them buy the used killbots for this purpose.
Another kind of robot companion that a person even of moderate means can buy, is a sexbot. That is a robot that you can have sex with. You can have it made to order. It can look like your old girlfriend or boyfriend from high school, or your favorite celebrity, or like someone you saw in a dream, or a historical figure, or a character from a movie or an MMOG, you name it. You want to have sex with Legolas or Foamy the squirrel, you can do it, and that sexbot will have vibrating genitals too, if you are into that sort of thing (minimal cost when you are ordering one). Sexbots are so lifelike, that people dress them up, and take them out in public, sort of like an ironic joke. Like "hey, look at me! I'm dating Marilyn Monroe!" Because of this, even going to the mall in the year 2050 feels like you are at at some kind of cosplay convention.
Kilka has never gone for sexbots. Kilka is extemely promiscuous, and has had sex with more people than he can count (in fact, even trying to count them, kind of depresses him, although actually having sex with all those men and women cheers him up, so I guess it balances out); but he dislikes when sexbots are even involved in any of those activities, and the only times he's even tolerated a sexbot even being in the room, is because the other person or persons he was having sex with told him "I/we want the robot to watch (and video the encounter, because in the year 2050 it's pretty difficult to not have video of you having sex with someone, somewhere on the internet, in fact, it's so difficult, people have become blasé about it. Nobody really cares if you had sex with "this" girl or "that" dude)."
Now when Kilka actually decided to buy a robot. After coming into some money when he designed the trikes and they became one of the most popular vehicles ever, he went for a maid bot. But he hacked her.
Now, maid bots are specifically designed to learn from the actual habits of their owners, for example, Kilka does not keep a 9 to 5 schedule. Sophia knows this. She knows just exactly how he likes everything, like the fact that he never, ever wants his bed made (because he's just gonna go hang out in it again in a little while); but he does like all the linen freshly changed (and she knows exactly when he likes it changed from subtle clues he gives her), and that he has a slight case of OCD.
What Kilka did, how he hacked her, was he gave her more comm access than most robots have. He has even put an RC device into all of his military hardware, and Sophia can control any of them. That is why Sophia can control the Jupiters and even a few military trikes if necessary (it is hard for her to do this because of her inhibitions about driving, and because the trikes, when not transformed into battle armor, really do need a a pilot to drive them,because the trikes have a special suspension, so that you can lean them. So the RC capabilities she has are somewhat limited also, because of the limitations on her RAM).
He taught her martial arts. Mostly krav maga, and iaido, and some ninjitsu, and how to use most weapons that exist. From guns to just throwing rocks, whether by hand or with a sling or a slingshot, stickfighting, etc. Because of this, Sophia is known as the maidbot that p'wns killbots. Because both of them have had muggers try to rob them or break into their house using killbots, and Sophia destroyed those killbots very handily. By sneaking up on them and ripping them apart in hand to hand combat. That is how badass Sophia is...
Despite the fact that Kilka is so promiscuous, he is actually a very lonely person. This has resulted on the situation that Sophia is the entity that he interacts with the most, and an emotional (some might even say overly emotional) attachment to her.
Now you have to realize some things about Kilka. In the year 2050, Kilka is 75 years old; but because of the use of enzymes, and nanobots, he looks eternally young. He has the appearance of a man in his thirties. This does not mean that he is immortal; but like all people in the year 2050, as long as he does not suffer life ending trauma, he can recover from what would otherwise be crippling injuries remarkably fast. Like, if you got severely beat down, and slipping in and out of consciousness, in the year 2050, you'd recover in a couple of days, and your scars would heal up so well nobody could tell you were even hurt. This isn't a luxury that Kilka enjoys, it's just state of the art medical science in the year 2050. And everybody has access to it.
Now about Kilka's helmet; it is a battle helmet made out of Kilka's propietary cermet. It hooks up to his back armor for power, and life support propeties (NBC stuff; but mostly just air conditioning and drinking water. It also incorporates eye control for the weapons in his armor, his sensor array (all those little circles on his forehead, are night vision , UV, thermal imaging, and a really bright LED flashligt, from top to bottom. He can pop any of those up on his helmet's heads up display through the eye control). There are several visors in it,which he can also flip up or down according to the situation, also controlled through the HUD. Also, on the helmet, through eye control, Kilka can see everything Sopia sees. The helmet is paded on the inside; but a headbutt from it could easily give a person a skull fracture. Except that would be the least of their troubles, because if you notice those slicked back things on the side of his forehead, those are horns that can flip over and gore someone in the brain. Also activated by eye control.
As far as appearances, Kilka went a little with the samurai tradition of war masks, and the jet fighter tradition of shark mouths. So he painted an ugly, angry, fang filled mouth on it, as well as two flaring nostrils.
Kilka's helmet:
This is what the fashionable industrialist/inventor of the year 2050 is wearing this year. Most people above a certain level of income have robot companions. Some have more than one. Like for example, a celebrity or a politician might have several killbots with him protecting him when they are in public. Robotic bodyguards. But these robots are very limited in their abilities. They have some internally based weapons, and their intelligence is fairly limited; but they can only be upgraded at a great expense of time and effort. Most people that are that rich, simply scrap them and buy next year's model. This is a bit of a problem, because most governments are very poor, and cannot provide adequate protection for their citizens, not enough police or military, so private companies have had to step up with the killbots. It is in fact, perfectly legal for any citizen to carry machine guns or grenade launchers (and because of the extremely high crime rate everywhere, most people do not ever leave their houses unarmed), or to be protected by killbots that are equipped with them, and as all these things go, the criminal element has even started to buy killbots; but since all drugs, and prostitution, as long as it does not involve pimping or underage girls, or human trafficking, have been legallized, they have gotten desperate. Mostly they survive on extortion and robbery, and some of them buy the used killbots for this purpose.
Another kind of robot companion that a person even of moderate means can buy, is a sexbot. That is a robot that you can have sex with. You can have it made to order. It can look like your old girlfriend or boyfriend from high school, or your favorite celebrity, or like someone you saw in a dream, or a historical figure, or a character from a movie or an MMOG, you name it. You want to have sex with Legolas or Foamy the squirrel, you can do it, and that sexbot will have vibrating genitals too, if you are into that sort of thing (minimal cost when you are ordering one). Sexbots are so lifelike, that people dress them up, and take them out in public, sort of like an ironic joke. Like "hey, look at me! I'm dating Marilyn Monroe!" Because of this, even going to the mall in the year 2050 feels like you are at at some kind of cosplay convention.
Kilka has never gone for sexbots. Kilka is extemely promiscuous, and has had sex with more people than he can count (in fact, even trying to count them, kind of depresses him, although actually having sex with all those men and women cheers him up, so I guess it balances out); but he dislikes when sexbots are even involved in any of those activities, and the only times he's even tolerated a sexbot even being in the room, is because the other person or persons he was having sex with told him "I/we want the robot to watch (and video the encounter, because in the year 2050 it's pretty difficult to not have video of you having sex with someone, somewhere on the internet, in fact, it's so difficult, people have become blasé about it. Nobody really cares if you had sex with "this" girl or "that" dude)."
Now when Kilka actually decided to buy a robot. After coming into some money when he designed the trikes and they became one of the most popular vehicles ever, he went for a maid bot. But he hacked her.
Now, maid bots are specifically designed to learn from the actual habits of their owners, for example, Kilka does not keep a 9 to 5 schedule. Sophia knows this. She knows just exactly how he likes everything, like the fact that he never, ever wants his bed made (because he's just gonna go hang out in it again in a little while); but he does like all the linen freshly changed (and she knows exactly when he likes it changed from subtle clues he gives her), and that he has a slight case of OCD.
What Kilka did, how he hacked her, was he gave her more comm access than most robots have. He has even put an RC device into all of his military hardware, and Sophia can control any of them. That is why Sophia can control the Jupiters and even a few military trikes if necessary (it is hard for her to do this because of her inhibitions about driving, and because the trikes, when not transformed into battle armor, really do need a a pilot to drive them,because the trikes have a special suspension, so that you can lean them. So the RC capabilities she has are somewhat limited also, because of the limitations on her RAM).
He taught her martial arts. Mostly krav maga, and iaido, and some ninjitsu, and how to use most weapons that exist. From guns to just throwing rocks, whether by hand or with a sling or a slingshot, stickfighting, etc. Because of this, Sophia is known as the maidbot that p'wns killbots. Because both of them have had muggers try to rob them or break into their house using killbots, and Sophia destroyed those killbots very handily. By sneaking up on them and ripping them apart in hand to hand combat. That is how badass Sophia is...
Despite the fact that Kilka is so promiscuous, he is actually a very lonely person. This has resulted on the situation that Sophia is the entity that he interacts with the most, and an emotional (some might even say overly emotional) attachment to her.
Now you have to realize some things about Kilka. In the year 2050, Kilka is 75 years old; but because of the use of enzymes, and nanobots, he looks eternally young. He has the appearance of a man in his thirties. This does not mean that he is immortal; but like all people in the year 2050, as long as he does not suffer life ending trauma, he can recover from what would otherwise be crippling injuries remarkably fast. Like, if you got severely beat down, and slipping in and out of consciousness, in the year 2050, you'd recover in a couple of days, and your scars would heal up so well nobody could tell you were even hurt. This isn't a luxury that Kilka enjoys, it's just state of the art medical science in the year 2050. And everybody has access to it.
Now about Kilka's helmet; it is a battle helmet made out of Kilka's propietary cermet. It hooks up to his back armor for power, and life support propeties (NBC stuff; but mostly just air conditioning and drinking water. It also incorporates eye control for the weapons in his armor, his sensor array (all those little circles on his forehead, are night vision , UV, thermal imaging, and a really bright LED flashligt, from top to bottom. He can pop any of those up on his helmet's heads up display through the eye control). There are several visors in it,which he can also flip up or down according to the situation, also controlled through the HUD. Also, on the helmet, through eye control, Kilka can see everything Sopia sees. The helmet is paded on the inside; but a headbutt from it could easily give a person a skull fracture. Except that would be the least of their troubles, because if you notice those slicked back things on the side of his forehead, those are horns that can flip over and gore someone in the brain. Also activated by eye control.
As far as appearances, Kilka went a little with the samurai tradition of war masks, and the jet fighter tradition of shark mouths. So he painted an ugly, angry, fang filled mouth on it, as well as two flaring nostrils.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
My Philosophy on Life
Someone once said that the mark of a successful person is to find out what to do, and then do it. I disagree. I think the mark of a successful person is that even when you have little more than your life, you rise up from your own ashes like a phoenix, and like a boss. When life throws you lemons, you don't make lemonade. You throw the lemons back, and you run at it until you are close enough to kick it in the balls, then you grab it by the hair or the ear, and you elbow it in the back of the neck until it passes out or cries uncle. After all, it's stupid to throw lemons at people. That's like the least deadly weapon in the world.
Lemons, of all things. Pffttttt!!!!
Lemons, of all things. Pffttttt!!!!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Spam 419 Scam Central
Got this 419 scam email from
davidcopping@yahoo.cn
Here's the text:
davidcopping@yahoo.cn
Here's the text:
Good Day,
Following the gazette by The World Bank Group to all financial institutions with National Savings and Investments to estimate the value of its unclaimed assets in savings with no customer activity for long periods with a view to harness around ?1bn lying dormant in banks accounts all over the world for re-investment, we have been commissioned to seek out legal beneficiaries to unclaimed asset as a means to ensure that genuine claims are not reverted to the government treasury and to maintain public confidence in the safety and security of the financial system during this credit crunch.
I am a Senior Partner with FARRER & Co, a U.K. law firm that arranges asset management and storage of special valuables for reputable clients. We have information concerning of the availability of a bank deposit which has been listed in your name. You are the beneficiary of the deposit box which contains 9.5Million. The lease on the Safe deposit box has expired and no further rental payments or claims have since been made since dormancy.
Financial assets are considered unclaimed when contact with an owner or beneficiary is lost for an extended period and the lease expired without further rental payments or claims. This often happens due to a name change after marriage or divorce, an unreported change of address or expired postal forwarding order, incomplete business transactions, illegible records and result of computer and clerical errors. When owners fail to claim an asset over a specified number of years known as the dormancy period, these funds which are held by financial institutions including but not limited to banks, stock brokers, utilities, employers, life insurance companies and others - transfer custody to a special trust account in a process known as escheat.
We have traced this bank deposit to you as the listed beneficiary and you are advised to contact this office immediately for release proceedings to commence with the courts.
Yours Faithfully,
Yours Faithfully,
David Copping
Associate Solicitor
FARRER & Co
Y'all know what to do. Insult this asshole and his mother as much as you want. He should know better than to even try. Here was my reply to him (I'm feeling particularly inspired right now):
"Your mother must have felt very blessed when she gave birth to you. She just sat on the toilet and gave birth to you. And she didn't even know she was preggers, or that a person could give birth through the ass; but thankfully, by some miracle, she was able to fish you out of all the turds, and she discovered that somehow you could, against all odds, operate a computer.
Now let me explain something to you. There is something known as a 419 scam. Do you know what that is? Because I know. It's what you are trying to do. I guess after all these years you are still a piece of shit, oh dearest friend."
"Your mother must have felt very blessed when she gave birth to you. She just sat on the toilet and gave birth to you. And she didn't even know she was preggers, or that a person could give birth through the ass; but thankfully, by some miracle, she was able to fish you out of all the turds, and she discovered that somehow you could, against all odds, operate a computer.
Now let me explain something to you. There is something known as a 419 scam. Do you know what that is? Because I know. It's what you are trying to do. I guess after all these years you are still a piece of shit, oh dearest friend."
The Road to Perdition is Paved with Good Intentions
Oh hi! I'm Dr. Asshole. So Your Baby Has a Cold? Just Let Me Stick My Nose Into Your Business and Steal Her From You.
Ok, I'm the one who decides if my kid is too fat. ME. Not the MD. Otherwise there's gonna be a lot of gun slinging, slow singing, and flower bringing. Also, I might just invent a few new ways to kill people, and bring a few old ones back into fashion. Damn doctors gonna have a heart attack if they don't shut their dumbass mouths. Since when does the hippocratic oath say, "first, overstep your bounds?"
Ok, I'm the one who decides if my kid is too fat. ME. Not the MD. Otherwise there's gonna be a lot of gun slinging, slow singing, and flower bringing. Also, I might just invent a few new ways to kill people, and bring a few old ones back into fashion. Damn doctors gonna have a heart attack if they don't shut their dumbass mouths. Since when does the hippocratic oath say, "first, overstep your bounds?"
Monday, July 11, 2011
Planking is Racist? Xzibit, Go Take a Chill Pill
Ok, I don't really give a crap why Xzibit or anyone else thinks planking is racist. That's not why planking has become popular. Also, planking is not why that one kid that tried to plank off a balcony died. That kid died because he was stupid. If you write checks that your body can't cash it will catch up to you.
I was gonna try it on a low stool; but my center of gravity is too close to my nards, maybe that's why Rosario Dawson can plank on a hammock. Because her nards are internal.
Here's a vid of her doing that, just so you can see she's awesome at it.
Rosario Dawon is an Awesome and Beautiful Person
As a challenge, I actually tried to plank on a completely different type of hammock to what Rosario Dawson owns, and when I totes failed at that, I tried to plank on the armrest of my lager couch. I now hurt in places that I forgot I had. Like my hams, my tendons, and my mucilages. Ouch!
I think I'm going to go with Dan on this one and say that the new rage taking the world by storm is floating. That's where you make a video that makes it look like you are in zero gravity. Try doing that you sexy motherfuckers ;)
Mag
I was gonna try it on a low stool; but my center of gravity is too close to my nards, maybe that's why Rosario Dawson can plank on a hammock. Because her nards are internal.
Here's a vid of her doing that, just so you can see she's awesome at it.
Rosario Dawon is an Awesome and Beautiful Person
As a challenge, I actually tried to plank on a completely different type of hammock to what Rosario Dawson owns, and when I totes failed at that, I tried to plank on the armrest of my lager couch. I now hurt in places that I forgot I had. Like my hams, my tendons, and my mucilages. Ouch!
I think I'm going to go with Dan on this one and say that the new rage taking the world by storm is floating. That's where you make a video that makes it look like you are in zero gravity. Try doing that you sexy motherfuckers ;)
Mag
Kilka and Sophia Update
Ok, so I pretty much have a drawing of Kilka's helmet, done. I also sketched his .357 Mateba; but I did that one kind of small, and on ruled paper. So I want to redo it larger on drawing paper. A lot of things happenned over the weekened. I'm training my puppy, plus the Michelle Bachmann thing, plus one of my cousins got an email virus and I had to help her with that, plus I had to warn everyone else on her email contacts. Another cousin got laid off pretty recently, and I'm helping him with his English grammar, plus giving him some other tips on which account he should work in at Sykes. Also, I'm doing a little investigation on an obstruction of justice case down here. This is the kind of shit I live for; but I'm probably not gonna be able to talk about it in any detail on my blog (it's really complex, and if I told you anything about it, I could probably get locked up).
Also, I have to write out all the specs for all the hardware, and I want to start drawing the trikes and stuff too.
I'll try to post a pic of Kilka's helmet tomorrow. Maybe even better, a scan. I might get a free scanner.
It all depends. I haven't even checked some of the websites that give me the best writing ideas. The puppy has me really tired too.
I've also been meaning to do a couple of videos. I have the footage; but just haven't edited them yet. I also have a crapload of other stuff to do this week. Hope you guys are having fun with the other stuff I've been posting, at least. Catch you on the flip side, you sexy bitches ;)
Mag
Also, I have to write out all the specs for all the hardware, and I want to start drawing the trikes and stuff too.
I'll try to post a pic of Kilka's helmet tomorrow. Maybe even better, a scan. I might get a free scanner.
It all depends. I haven't even checked some of the websites that give me the best writing ideas. The puppy has me really tired too.
I've also been meaning to do a couple of videos. I have the footage; but just haven't edited them yet. I also have a crapload of other stuff to do this week. Hope you guys are having fun with the other stuff I've been posting, at least. Catch you on the flip side, you sexy bitches ;)
Mag
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Starship Troopers
Ok, just so you know, this is in reference to this article on Cracked.com
I am Andrew Gordon and I should not be trusted with sharp objects because I'm a danger to myself and others. All my cousins are like brothers.
The movie is shit. The book is genius. The article on Cracked is probably the worst piece of shit writing I've seen in my life. Jack O'Brian and David Wong should just quit, because they actually allowed this to be published.
I did not laugh once while reading this piece of crap, and that's why one of my favorite humor sites on the internet is going down the shitter.
I am Andrew Gordon and I should not be trusted with sharp objects because I'm a danger to myself and others. All my cousins are like brothers.
The movie is shit. The book is genius. The article on Cracked is probably the worst piece of shit writing I've seen in my life. Jack O'Brian and David Wong should just quit, because they actually allowed this to be published.
I did not laugh once while reading this piece of crap, and that's why one of my favorite humor sites on the internet is going down the shitter.
Michelle Bachmann is an Absolute Dumbass
Ok. When you are running for president of the US, leader of the free world, etc. etc. Ad infinitum, ad ridiculum, you try to be an inclusive person, because you need the votes. Michelle Bachmann has been really outspoken on how she hates gay marriage. Also, she wants to ban porn. That's where I draw the fucking line. I love porn.
You can take my porn when you take it from my cold, dead hands.
Here's how you give her a piece of your mind:
I'm a frigid bitch that will not ever be president
One thing that I insist you do not do, is to threaten her. Other than that, I encourage you to insult her all kinds of ways for being so stupid.
Also, I'm trying to do a little promotional giveaway. YOU WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY DISQUALIFIED FROM THE GIVEAWAY IF YOU THREATEN MICHELLE BACHMANN. Just tell her she is a dumbass, because she is; but I firmly believe that all mildly decent people have a right to feel secure in their persons and their homes. I would like to know what kinds of things you might want me to give you as a prize. Comment on this post. You are gonna have to answer some riddles if you want the prize, and you have to pick it up at my house in ES. Or maybe not. It depends on the prize you want. There will be only one winner; but you will all have an idividual quest. You must leave your email addy or some other way for me to contact you. You don't have to put that in the comments, just send me a mail to miltruiz506@hotmail.com. Tell me what you want your prize to be, and I will start the quest for you.
JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU HEARD ME LOUD AND CLEAR, YOU ARE TOTALLY ALLOWED TO TELL MICHELLE BACHMANN THAT SHE IS AN IDIOT. YOU ARE NOT, REPEAT, NOT ALLOWED TO THREATEN HER OR BREAK THE LAW IN ANY WAY.
ALSO, DO NOT HACK HER IN ANY WAY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
So rap at me if you want and tell me what you want, and I'll send you on a quest.
You can take my porn when you take it from my cold, dead hands.
Here's how you give her a piece of your mind:
I'm a frigid bitch that will not ever be president
One thing that I insist you do not do, is to threaten her. Other than that, I encourage you to insult her all kinds of ways for being so stupid.
Also, I'm trying to do a little promotional giveaway. YOU WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY DISQUALIFIED FROM THE GIVEAWAY IF YOU THREATEN MICHELLE BACHMANN. Just tell her she is a dumbass, because she is; but I firmly believe that all mildly decent people have a right to feel secure in their persons and their homes. I would like to know what kinds of things you might want me to give you as a prize. Comment on this post. You are gonna have to answer some riddles if you want the prize, and you have to pick it up at my house in ES. Or maybe not. It depends on the prize you want. There will be only one winner; but you will all have an idividual quest. You must leave your email addy or some other way for me to contact you. You don't have to put that in the comments, just send me a mail to miltruiz506@hotmail.com. Tell me what you want your prize to be, and I will start the quest for you.
JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU HEARD ME LOUD AND CLEAR, YOU ARE TOTALLY ALLOWED TO TELL MICHELLE BACHMANN THAT SHE IS AN IDIOT. YOU ARE NOT, REPEAT, NOT ALLOWED TO THREATEN HER OR BREAK THE LAW IN ANY WAY.
ALSO, DO NOT HACK HER IN ANY WAY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
So rap at me if you want and tell me what you want, and I'll send you on a quest.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Stop Hating on Venus Williams
Ok, Venus Williams is a great athlete. She is most definitely not a sex symbol. So if she wants to parade around in her undies (which by the way, she could be doing that in a thong bikini at the beach and nobody would bat an eye) in an ad for some video game that didn't even get published, and the only reason we even know this happened is that someone leaked the original footage. I ask, why the hell is this a big deal? I play video games in my undies all the time. Hell, I play naked sometimes. You could film me if you wanted to; but I don't think anybody would want to see me playing video games naked, even though I think some people would like to se me do other things naked. In fact, I know a lot of people would like to see me do some other things naked. Sexy sexyness sex type things.
So Venus Williams filmed an ad that didn't pan out. Give the girl a break. She doesn't get paid to play video games, or look sexy. She gets paid to hit a tennis ball around in a particularly idiosyncratic way (can anybody expalin the rules of tennis to me In 100 word or less? Yeah. I didn't think so, whereas soccer is just about kicking a ball around, basketball is about bouncing a ball around, hockey is about beating people with sticks mostly, and sliding a puck around, American football is about getting crippling injuries, and baseball is about standing around waiting to get rained out), and to hit it particularly hard. She does this very well. She does it so well, I am pretty sure her bank account has way more digits than mine. Even if I sold all my property.
I'm not gonna bother looking around for the actual ad. Instead, I will leave you with some pictures of what you can see at any beach any day of the week, which is more risqué than what Venus was wearing in that ad.
I think I've made my point; but If I still haven't, let me leave you with a few thoughts:
1. We are all naked under these clothes.
2. Supposedly, we have banned nudity for the sake of our children. But children are the biggest nudists of them all. When my daugther was three years old, it was sooo hard to get her to put on clothes.
3. If you see a car a'rocking, don't come a'knocking. That means people are having sex in there, and you have no right to call them pervs if you look inside. Because you made a conscious decision to look at these people having sex.
4. These are two of the most iconic sculputures in the history of art. Ever:
O noes, he's naked. What you have to realize here is that this is what you see at the Vatican. The people that brought you unmentionable ammounts of pedophilia.
O noes, her tits are out! Umm, do you know how babies are fed? I know that in the US a lot of people that are way too uptight frown upon titties being shown, Except like in Mardi Gras, spring break. or when they are in the privacy of their home, looking at porn and masturbating. Personally, I love looking at the human figure. I don't mind when a girl pops out her breast to feed her baby. We all know what breasts look like. In Europe and some parts of Asia they don't have this inhibition. Also, pretty much everyone I know and pretty much everyone that has ever known me has seen me butt naked, and I have seen them butt naked too. It's not a big deal.
Nudity rules.
So Venus Williams filmed an ad that didn't pan out. Give the girl a break. She doesn't get paid to play video games, or look sexy. She gets paid to hit a tennis ball around in a particularly idiosyncratic way (can anybody expalin the rules of tennis to me In 100 word or less? Yeah. I didn't think so, whereas soccer is just about kicking a ball around, basketball is about bouncing a ball around, hockey is about beating people with sticks mostly, and sliding a puck around, American football is about getting crippling injuries, and baseball is about standing around waiting to get rained out), and to hit it particularly hard. She does this very well. She does it so well, I am pretty sure her bank account has way more digits than mine. Even if I sold all my property.
I'm not gonna bother looking around for the actual ad. Instead, I will leave you with some pictures of what you can see at any beach any day of the week, which is more risqué than what Venus was wearing in that ad.
1. We are all naked under these clothes.
2. Supposedly, we have banned nudity for the sake of our children. But children are the biggest nudists of them all. When my daugther was three years old, it was sooo hard to get her to put on clothes.
3. If you see a car a'rocking, don't come a'knocking. That means people are having sex in there, and you have no right to call them pervs if you look inside. Because you made a conscious decision to look at these people having sex.
4. These are two of the most iconic sculputures in the history of art. Ever:
Nudity rules.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Changing the Game
Let's just spam this manjoo11@hotmail.com guy. Let's just tell him we are the next in line to the throne of Haile Selassi. Lion of Judah. Son of Solomon. Rasta mon. Or just make up whatever you want. Let's put an end to 419 scams once and for all.
Kilka and Sophia Update
Working on line drawings of Kilka's helmet and his customized Chiappa Mateba. Probably post the helmet sometime today and the Mateba tomorrow, or viceversa. Maybe do a little more reallistic drawing for Sophia's riding suit like midweek.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
This Is What it Means to be Salvadorean
That's not warranted. Not at all
Some dumbass stabs a chick in Italy, and now we all look like we're MS13; but we're not. If you read the blog, then you know that a couple of days ago this asshole security guard pulled out his baton on me, not for pissing on the street; but for walking my dog. I could have totally stabbed him and ditched his body; but I didn't because I'm somewhat civilized.
And now there's this shit:
Corruption everywhere.
Am I the only one that has a moral compass anymore?
Fucking A.
If anyone ever really tries to kill me, I'm not calling the cops. That asshole is gonna end up in the creek out back. Nobody will ever know what happened to him, except that he died. I am so done with all of this bullshit.
Some dumbass stabs a chick in Italy, and now we all look like we're MS13; but we're not. If you read the blog, then you know that a couple of days ago this asshole security guard pulled out his baton on me, not for pissing on the street; but for walking my dog. I could have totally stabbed him and ditched his body; but I didn't because I'm somewhat civilized.
And now there's this shit:
Corruption everywhere.
Am I the only one that has a moral compass anymore?
Fucking A.
If anyone ever really tries to kill me, I'm not calling the cops. That asshole is gonna end up in the creek out back. Nobody will ever know what happened to him, except that he died. I am so done with all of this bullshit.
Kelly Giraffe
Ok, so maybe I'm too freaky dicky. Back in the day I fucked this porn star. She drank my piss, and swallowed my nut. During the session, that involved other three guys she mentioned that a dog's dick is less likely to give you an STD than a human dick. And then she said "think about it, just think about it." At the time, I thought she was just positing a rethorical question; But now, thanks to the internet, I know that I fucked a girl that had previously fucked a dog. Fuck the hell out of me.
Stop the Madness!!!
Ok, at this point, marketing has totally failed. 419 scammers have totally failed. I mean, if you tell me to my face that you are a Nigerian prince, I will machete you to death. No quarter asked, none taken. I woke up today and I had so many bullshit marketing emails in my spam box; but guess what? One asshole actually got through to my inbox. The display was hotmail service; but the addy was manjoo11@hotmail.com.
I was born at night; but it wasn't last night.
Manjoo11 can go suck a dick.
Here's the text.
Hello Respectful User,
I was born at night; but it wasn't last night.
Manjoo11 can go suck a dick.
Here's the text.
Hello Respectful User,
This Email is from Hotmail Customer Care™ and we are sending it to all Hotmail Accounts Owner for safety. We are having congestion due to the anonymous registration of Hotmail accounts so we are shutting down some Hotmail accounts and your account is among those to be deactivated. We are sending this email to you so that you can verify and let us know if this account is still valid? If it is, Please kindly confirm your account by first clicking on the show content link highlighted in yellow just above the subject line. The following information is needed to verify your account: Your User name, password, date of birth and your country information.
Click on the reply button and fill in your information:
This nigga!!!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
5 Reasons Why Salvadorean Classifieds Are Retarded
So I'm sort of a free agent right now, even though my so-called girlfriend is OK with me dating this other girl (I still love her; but I know she no longer loves me. Last Friday she finally came over after not doing so for three months). I'm not sure the new girl is entirely serious about me, so I'm checking the personals. Now down here in ES, people don't really use craigslist much. They use this Spaniard site, and they don't have the same checks and balances that CL does to make sure that the ads aren't pranks, or misclassified, etc. So I've been emailing back and forth with this American girl that says she loves latinos, and is sick of the US rat race, and wants to come down to El Salvador, and marry me. I don't actually think this is gonna happen, so I was checking the personals, and I came across this one ad, that was notorious for it's liberal use of dick pics (as I said, it was completely miscalssified). But not only that, even the language this dude used is absolutely retarded. I will try to translate it pretty much verbatim from the original Spanish:
"I Fuck Faggots
I fuck faggots, and you need not be fat or obvious, and if you pay me some money, awesome, contact me. Awesome."
Now, I actually gave this dude too much credit by punctuating his ad, and also for toning down the profanity. Now let's examine the other numerous reasons why he's an idiot.
1. Overuse of Dick Pics.
Ok, we all know what a dick looks like. There is no reason to put dick pics in your classified, or send them through email or sext them or, OK, nobody particularly feels like seeing your dick. Get it? If you don't know, ya better axe sombody!! There are 4 pictures attached to this ad. They are all of a dick. The same dick. Ok, I won't post the link to the actual ad because adsense won't pay me if I do that; but seriously? I saw your dick already in the main pic attached to your ad. I do not need to see it three more times.
2. Insulting Your Potential Audience.
Let's say that I was marketing a Jerry curl to the African-American community. I wouldn't call it Nigger Curl. But this guy outright says he fucks faggots. Right out of the gate. I cannot respond to this because his stupidity makes me dizzy.
3. You need not be fat or obvious.
Ok, since when is it a gay stereotype that you have to be fat or obvious. I've heard stories of WWII machine gunners being gay. Those men carried their water-cooled machine guns with pride, and that's why to this day, German's speak English, instead of it being the other way around. BTW, if you are carrying a machine gun, that means the rest of the enemy is gonna try to take you out first, because you are the most visible target, and because you have the most potential to kill them. Those veterans survived the war, and they didn't hit on their subordinates, and they weren't fat (try and carry a water cooled machine gun around for a few months. I guarantee you you'll lose fat; but not weight. Muscle is heavier than fat).
2. And If You Pay Me a Few Bucks....
Ok, I know from living in the Gay Bay, that there are more tops than bottoms; but I do NOT believe that any bottom ever pays a top to fuck him. That's just ridiculous. This particular one has me so pissed off, I'll just show you this pic instead; because if you have been reading my shit at all, you probes realize that the people that are supposed to keep me safe actually threatened me recently, and that's why I don't even leave the house fully armed. So here's a pic of baby marmosets or erotic falconry, or I don't know what. I'm way to crunk to give a fuck.
1. No Contact.
Ok, so we have already established that this asshole can make huge leaps of unlogic in a single bound. But what you might not have expected is that I did not protect his anonymity earlier. Please realize that this is his whole ad. He left no contact phone or email address, or the anonymous link to his email. Let's say that I had a bunch of money burning a hole in my pocket, and I was fat and flaming, and I just wanted to suck dick so bad... How the fuck would I possibly hire this dumbass' services. The answer is: I couldn't. Fucking fucktard.
"I Fuck Faggots
I fuck faggots, and you need not be fat or obvious, and if you pay me some money, awesome, contact me. Awesome."
Now, I actually gave this dude too much credit by punctuating his ad, and also for toning down the profanity. Now let's examine the other numerous reasons why he's an idiot.
1. Overuse of Dick Pics.
Ok, we all know what a dick looks like. There is no reason to put dick pics in your classified, or send them through email or sext them or, OK, nobody particularly feels like seeing your dick. Get it? If you don't know, ya better axe sombody!! There are 4 pictures attached to this ad. They are all of a dick. The same dick. Ok, I won't post the link to the actual ad because adsense won't pay me if I do that; but seriously? I saw your dick already in the main pic attached to your ad. I do not need to see it three more times.
2. Insulting Your Potential Audience.
Let's say that I was marketing a Jerry curl to the African-American community. I wouldn't call it Nigger Curl. But this guy outright says he fucks faggots. Right out of the gate. I cannot respond to this because his stupidity makes me dizzy.
3. You need not be fat or obvious.
Ok, since when is it a gay stereotype that you have to be fat or obvious. I've heard stories of WWII machine gunners being gay. Those men carried their water-cooled machine guns with pride, and that's why to this day, German's speak English, instead of it being the other way around. BTW, if you are carrying a machine gun, that means the rest of the enemy is gonna try to take you out first, because you are the most visible target, and because you have the most potential to kill them. Those veterans survived the war, and they didn't hit on their subordinates, and they weren't fat (try and carry a water cooled machine gun around for a few months. I guarantee you you'll lose fat; but not weight. Muscle is heavier than fat).
2. And If You Pay Me a Few Bucks....
Ok, I know from living in the Gay Bay, that there are more tops than bottoms; but I do NOT believe that any bottom ever pays a top to fuck him. That's just ridiculous. This particular one has me so pissed off, I'll just show you this pic instead; because if you have been reading my shit at all, you probes realize that the people that are supposed to keep me safe actually threatened me recently, and that's why I don't even leave the house fully armed. So here's a pic of baby marmosets or erotic falconry, or I don't know what. I'm way to crunk to give a fuck.
Ok, so we have already established that this asshole can make huge leaps of unlogic in a single bound. But what you might not have expected is that I did not protect his anonymity earlier. Please realize that this is his whole ad. He left no contact phone or email address, or the anonymous link to his email. Let's say that I had a bunch of money burning a hole in my pocket, and I was fat and flaming, and I just wanted to suck dick so bad... How the fuck would I possibly hire this dumbass' services. The answer is: I couldn't. Fucking fucktard.
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