Thursday, July 21, 2011

419 Scam Spam Central

So these are the latest 419 scammers that I had contact me.  I think they've realized people in the US are on to them , and now they think Salvadoreans are stupid.  What they don't realize is that most Salvadoreans are extremely racist.  I myself am not.  I have had lady friends of all races, and I loved the hell out of all of them; especially some of the black ones; but I do hate these scammers.  The email adresses will precede their emails.  You all know what to do.  Let's all unite in letting these assholes know just how stupid they are.

joykipkalya30@gmail.com

My Dearest,


    I know you will be surprise to receive this email, but Before I go further I will like you to understand that, I am writing this mail to you With due respect trust and humanity, I appeal to you to exercise a little patience and read through my letter I feel quite safe dealing with you in this important business, honestly i am writing this email to you with pains, tears and sorrow from my heart, i will really like to have a good relationship with you and i have a special reason why i decided to contact you, i decided to contact you due to the urgency of my present situation here in the refugee camp. My name is Miss. Joy Kipkalya Kones, 25yrs old female and I from Kenya here in Africa; my father was the former Kenyan road Minister. He and Assistant Minister of Home Affairs Lorna Labo so had been on board the Cessna 210, which was headed to Kericho and crashed in a remote area called Kajong'a, in western Kenya. The plane crashed on Tuesday 10th, June, 2008.

     After the burial of my beloved father, my stepmother and uncle conspired and sold all my father's properties to an Italian Expertrate which they shared the money they sold from the properties among themselves and live nothing for me. Unfortunately to me I fined my father's briefcase and when I opened it I found a document which my Father used to deposited amount of money in one bank here in Burkina Faso, with my name as the next of kin. I travelled to Burkina Faso here I am, to withdraw the money for a better life
so that I can take care of myself and start up a new life and also further my education, when I arrival to the bank, the Bank foreign Operation Department Director whom I meet in pe rson told me that my father instruction to their bank is that the fund would only be release to me when I am married or present a trustee/partner who will help me and invest the fund overseas after the transfer, and the bank ask me to go and look for a foreign partner, that was why  am contacting you, which I believe that you are going to be honest and reliable person that will help me and stand as my trustee/partner, so that I can present you to the Bank for the release and transfer of the inherited fund into your bank account in your country.

     I have chosen to contact you after my prayers and I believe that you will not betray my trust. But rather take me as your own sister. Though you may wonder why I am so soon revealing myself to you without knowing you, well I will say that my mind convinced me that you will be the true person to help me. Moreover, I will like to disclose much to you if you can help me t o relocate to your country because my stepmothers have threatened to assinate me. The fund my Father deposited into the bank, is ($8.5 USD) Million United State Dollars, and I have confirmed from the bank here in Burkina Faso, on my arrival, You will also help me to place the fund in a good profitable business venture in your Country, However you will also help by recommending a nice University in your country so that I can further my education. It is my intention to compensate you with 40% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my capital in your establishment. Now my dear as soon as I receive your positive response showing your interest and wiliness to help me, I will put things into action immediately. In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and wilingness to help me and also handle this transaction sincerely. Awaiting your urgent and positive response. Please my dear I want you to keep t his as a top secret only to your self for now until the bank will release and transfer my inherited fund to you as my appointed trustee/partner. I beg you once again not to disclose this to any body until i come over your country because I am afraid of my wicked stepmother who has threatened to kill me and have my inherited fund alone. I thank you very much and am expecting to hear from you soonest.

Yours Sincerely
Joy Kipkalya Kones. 

Next up is
musaali0001@gmail.com 
This is the email I received:

FROM Mr.Musa Ali.
The Head of File and Auditing Department,
BANK OF AFRICA (B.O.A)
Ouagadougou Burkina-Faso ( West Africa )
 
REMITTANCE OF US$20,5;MILLION
CONFIDENTIAL IS THE CASE. VERY URGENT ATTENTION
 
This message might meet you in utmost surprise, however, it's just my Urgent need for foreign partner that made me to contact you for this transaction I am a banker by profession from Burkina Faso in West Africa and currently holding the post of director Auditing and accounting unit of the bank.
 
I have the opportunity of transferring the left over Funds ($20.5 million) of one of my bank clients who died Along with his entire family in a plane crash.
  
All expenses incurred by you and me in this transaction will be deducted out from the 10% of the total fund before the sharing of the fund according to the percentages agreed. I will come over to your country as soon as the transfer is over to receive my own share of the fund for further investments by your advice. Please I want you to understand that a stitch in time saves nine so write back and tell me if you really want to carry out this transaction with me.
 
From banking experience it will take up to fourteen(14) working days to conclude this transfer. I sincerely need your help because this might be my first and last opportunity of hitting big money. I also would want you to treat this affair as both urgent, top secret and confidential. I want you to also know that this transaction will involve some expenses which will be shared among both of us.
 
This payment will be effected through Swift Telegraphic Transfer.
Your Urgent response is needed for immediate transfer of this fund in to your receiving bank account.
 
http://newswww.bbc.net.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/oxfordshire/4537663.stm
(FILL THIS FORM BELLOW PLEASE AND RESEND IT TO ME).
 
Your name in full.......................... ........
Your country....................... ..................
Your age........................... ....................
Your cell phone......................... ...........
Your occupation.................... ...............
Your sex........................... ....................
Your International passport..................
Your marital status........................ ........
Your bank name.......................... ..........
 
Best Regards,
Mr.Musa Ali.
Seriously?  Because my middle name is not stupid.  No sale, fucktard.
And finally:
mahanimat@ymail.com

Salam,

Saya MAHANI BT MAT, saya bekerja sebagai Marketing Officer di sebuah syarikat pemprosesan batu mulia di UK.di sini Saya ingin memperkenalkan kepada encik peluang perniagaan yang besar kenuntungannya,saya memerlukan bantuan encik dan kerjasama encik untuk memajukan perniagaan ini.saya  menghubungi encik kerana saya tidak ingin kehilangan rakan kongsi saya di dalam perniagaan ini.saya tahu bahawa saya dan encik akan mendapatkan feadah yang baik daripada perniagaan ini di masa akan datang. Sekarang saya hanya ingin encik menjadi pembekal (agent) kepada syarikat saya bekerja  dan encik boleh mendapat keuntungan daripada peluang perniagaan ini . Syarikat saya memerlukan sebuah produk yang disebut (DOUL WASHING LIQUID). Para encopi wash liquid adalah cecair kimia saintifik bar substansi, sejenis pelincir, terutama digunakan di makmal untuk gemological
pemurnian merawat atau menerangkan,memasuki ke dalam berlian dan mengewap keluar kotoran di dalam berlian dan batu-batu berharga sepertinya.
Pembekal asal produk ini adalah di (Malaysia) sehingga lah pembekal produk langsung syarikat KAMI INI mengalami kemalangan di sini {uk} ,dia adalah pengurus pemasaran dan sejak dia kemalangan monopoli ini telah tergendala.saya hanya ingin encik menjadi agen di antara penjual dan pembeli .Ini adalah perniagaan besar untuk saya dan encik dan akan mendapat keuntungan besar.saya hanya memerlukan kerjasama untuk menjadikan perniagaan ini berjaya.Saya akan memberi anda maklumat lebih lanjut tentang hal ini jika anda bersedia untuk menjadi sebagai agen untuk membekalkan produk ke syarikat kami.
Pertama, saya akan perkenalkan anda pembekal (agent)kepada syarikat saya nanti. Mengikut peratusan, awalnya harga beli yang sebenarnya produk tersebut oleh syarikat per Carton adalah 4,000.00 USD, sedangkan di (Malaysia) harga jual tempatan adalah 2,100.00 USD  dan  syarikat saya memerlukan tidak kurang daripada 200 Cartons.
 saya ingin encik menjadi agen link kami yang menghubungkan penjual tempatan di Malaysia secaralangsung kepada syarikat membeli maka margin keuntungan akan digunakan bersama  berdua 50% untuk encik, sementara 50% kepada saya.sekiranya encik dapat membantu saya   mengurus perniagaan jual beli produk ini saya amat berterimakasih.kemudian saya akan membincangkan pekara ini bersama pengurus syarikat saya. saya yakin dan percaya encik boleh menyediakan produk ini kepada syarikat.di sini juga saya memfailkan butiran dari segi harga  dan cara bayaran  maka kita boleh mengambil daripada permulaan perniagaan ini. encik saya mengharap agar encik dapat membalas email saya ini secepat mungkin, agar saya dapat mengemailkan number telephone penjual di malaysia gar encik dapat menghubungi penjual untuk bertanya sama ada penjual tersebut masih mempunyai stock untuk di bekalkan kepada encik.sebelum syarikat kami akan menghantar pengurus pembelian pergi ke Malaysia untuk membeli produk dari encik secara tunai.Terima kasih atas kerjasama encik,saya mengharap dan menunggu balasan email daripada encik.
Wassalam,
MAHANI 
What the fuck? At least contact me in a language I know, asshole; but I can tell it's just a 419 scam, so  let him or them try to decipher my reply. 
One more (I guess they like to do their do on weekends): 
emakin29@tlen.pl

Now the email:

FROM MR. Emma Akin
AUDITING MANAGER
BANK OF AFRICA MANAGMENT.
OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO.

Dear Friend

Listen attentively; this is important information and I would likeyou to read this letter very carefully and reply. Firstly, my nameis Mr. Emmanuel Akin, auditing and accounting manager; foreignremittance department of bank of Africa management OuagadougouBurkina Faso.

I got your contact from the internet division of chamber underbusiness relation here in Ouagadougou Burkina Faso. I am searchingfor trust worthy person who will assist me to implement this urgenttransfer. l discovered the sum of Ten Million Six Hundred ThousandUnited States Dollars (USD$10.6M) belonging to a Lebanese’s Man; adeceased customer of this bank. The fund has been lying in asuspense account without anybody coming to put claim over the moneysince the death of account owner who was involved in the December25th  2003 Benin plane crash.

Listen very carefully, since we got the information about hisdeath, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over andclaim the total sum because we cannot release it unless somebodyapplies for it as next of kin to the deceased as indicated in ourbanking guidelines and laws but unfortunately I learnt that all hissupposed next of kin or relation died alongside with him at theplane crash leaving nobody behind for the claim. It is thereforeupon this discovery last month that I decided to make this businessproposal to you and release all the information and documentationsto you as the next of kin to the deceased for safety and subsequentdisbursement since nobody is coming for it and I don't wantthis money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill. Thebanking law and guideline here stipulates that if such moneyremained unclaimed after 10 years, the money will be transferredinto the bank treas ury as unclaimed fund.

The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business isoccasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and aBurkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to him. I therefore solicitfor your assistance to come forward as the next of kin. I haveagreed that 40% of this money will be for you as the beneficiary inrespect of the provision of your Account and services rendered, 55%would be for me while 5% will be for expenses incurred during thecause of this transaction If the money is transferred to yourAccount from {BANK OF AFRICA} management, I personally will comeimmediately to your country for my own share of the money as soonas you confirmed the total sum in your bank account. I expect youto keep this business strictly confidential and secret as you maywish to know that I am Bank official here with my position. Be restassured that this business is 100% risk free on both side and everyarrangement to transfer this money t o the Account you are going toprovide have been concluded provided we maintain theconfidentiality and secrecy involved.

Upon your acceptance to do this deal with me the blow informationis needed.
Your full name.....
Your date of birth.........
Your occupations.........
Your country of origin.....
Your personal mobile No..........

Yours faithfully,
Mr. Emma Akin
Auditing Section
BANK OF AFRICA MANAGEMENT.
Ouagadougou Burkina Faso.
Now you all know what to do.  With the power of the Death Star we can obliterate these fuckers.  Let's do it.  Use the force young padawans.

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