New Haircut

Ok, just got a sexy new haircut.  It's gonna be the haircut of the protagonist for my graphic novel Metal Heart.  I might put a facial scar on him too.  For flavor.  It's set into the far flung future, I'm not putting that one in the blog; but I'll let you know about it if it gets published.  Also, Russian girls are awesome.  Show me your titties, and I will publish them in this blog.  I am obviously beyond the point of giving a fuck.

Xmash

Ok, so over the weekend I came up with a concept, I call it xmash.  Basically it involves breaking and entering, and that is the sticking point of it.  I need to kind of hash it out a bit more.  So the point is that we occupy christmas, and we break into the actual corrupt politician or banker's house of our choice, and we wreck the fuck out of his house.  We do it fast, and we get out, and we take all his nice stuff that isn't bolted down. 
It's just a concept right now; but I would love to hear more suggestions.

Mother Russia

Please do not misunderstand me, I do not have any allegiance anymore, much less to America, which has thoroughly betrayed me. I think between us, we could make very great achievements.

Just How Bad TSA Fails

I have always said that this blog is me at my nakednest and most sincerest, so I will not lie about any of this.
At some point (and let it be known right here, and right now, that I will never forgive nor forget how this whole clusterfuck came to be, because George Washington, TJ, Alexander Hamilton, and especially Ben Franks would be so pissed off about it that there are no words...) I was exiled.  I am here now, an outsider looking on, and witnessing the sinking of the US.
This pains me.  A lot.  Within 60 years the US decided "we rule, so fuck everybody," the difference is this: the trade surplus with china.
The US now manufacures next to nothing.  Ask any child over 12 years old how to load or fire a gun.  Any kind of gun.  His choice of gun  They don't fucking know.  Or they know the exact wrong way to do it.  Ask a north korean six year old how to take down, clean,  reassemble, load, aim and shoot an AK or M-16 variant, also ask him who created mickey mouse.  According to him it was Kim Jong Il.
And don't tell me about PSP games.  That's the fucking reason that people do not understand the idea of supressing fire. 
It's a sorry sight to behold.
I wish I only did not have to get my daughter out of hippytown, come hell or high water, and believe me you, when the time comes, there will only be two spots on that boat. and they will be for me and her.
All you fuckups can drown for all I care.
Either you carry your weight, and then some, or I use you for chum.
I know how to do it, and I know what I'm gonna wear.
I mean that, too.
Oh, Merry fucking Xmash you sorryass sons of bitchers.

Kandy

Ok, so I'm kinda bored so I decided to write a little about this girl I used to date.
The first time I met Kandy she gave me a very nice blowjob, she swallowed my cum and she was totally into me.
The second time I met Kandy she told me to fuck off.  I don't know why.
The third time I met Kandy she told me that the first time I met her was the very first time that she had ever blowjobbed a guy.  She still didn't explain to me why she told me to fuck off the previous time, and I didn't ask.  She also gave me a so-so blowjob that time.
The fourth time I met Kandy, I asked to fuck her bareback.  She said it was fine, as long as I didn't cum a lot.  I don't remember if I was trying to make a joke, or if I told her that I don't cum a lot because I was miffed that she didn't remember just how much I ejaculate (for reference, Peter North has nothing on me); but I did fuck her and come inside of her.  I think she kind of liked it, too.

Things Happen

Some people love to fuck.  I have known them, carnally, in the biblical sense.  I enjoyed that immensely in every instance.  I will do it again, every chance I get, until the end of time, or until I die, whichever comes first.

The Black Sheep

Who is the black sheep of the family?
Some people say that they are the black sheep.  In fact, I think pretty much everyone feels like the black sheep at some time or another.  I believe that perhaps my family believes I am both the black sheep and god's avenging angel of death at the same time.  I am neither.  I am just a mad scientist hotrodding the fuck out of metal and trying to create badassednessecity by my chimmichinchin, and on a shoestring budget.
I know that sheep are a thing.  I could care less what color their fur is.  I own a ton of wool sweaters and socks.  None of them are white, not even the ones that used to be, because white always turns grey.  I own a shitload of grey t-shirts and wifebeaters.
Nevertheless, one of my brothers, the most conformist of us, has chosen to portray himself as a black sheep.  Except that nobody believes him.  Well, guess what?  Stop being an attention whore.
You tell me that you are cutting; but I don't see any scars.  And you tell me that you are fucking all kinds of hot chicks; but every time you invite me to a party it's fucking highschool shit AND a sausage fest.  For a guy in his twenties, that's fucking pathetic.  For a guy in his thirties to try to keep that shit up, is way beyond pathetic.  There are no words to describe it.
So if you are trying to be an attention whore/cutter/emo/satanist/suicidal prick/untalented bullshit artist, I say this:  You can kill yourself all you want.  I don't give a fuck.  Promptly remove yourself from the gene pool, the rest of us will be better off without you.
I used to give a shit about people like you; but then I caught an arrow to the knee.  I don't give a shit about you and your weak crew.  I got problems of my own, bitch.  Show yourself, I'll cure you with some bitchslap therapy.

The Weirdest Dream

Just woke up from a nap.  Had the weirdest dream.  It freaked me out a little bit, because I reaized that for every woman I have ever fucked, and knew the name of, there are a lot more women whose actual names I don't know.  I actually had a girl tell me two different names in two different occassions, and that's a girl I came inside of, and who swallowed my cum.  For every girl whose name I actually know, there are ten whose real names I don't know, and there's a good chance I got a bunch of them pregnant too.  I also got paid a good bunch of money by a man to fuck his wife, and I fucked another man's wife every Saturday night for several months.  He never asked me my name,  nor I his or his wife's.  They were into bondage, so the woman would always be blindfolded.  She never saw my face.  The first few times, the man told me "you can fuck her without a condom, just don't come inside her."  The last few times he told me he wanted me to come inside his wife, so I did.  I mean seriously, when a man asks me to fuck his wife and come inside her, the only possible ending is that I'm gonna fuck his wife and come inside her.  And I made her come too.  Out of all the women I have fucked, there are only three that I know for sure I gave an orgasm to. She was the first, and her husband got off watching me do that to her, and BTW I did not do that once, twice, or thrice.  I made that woman come every Saturday night over the course of several months.  There are probably a few sons of mine running around, and I'm fairly sure they look as handsome as me.

Guns

When I was 19, I worked security downtown Oakland.  I lived in Berkeley at the time, and was not expecting to get mugged as I got off the bus in Berkeley.  Since I could not legally own a modern pistol because of my age, all I had to defend myself was a miniature British commando dagger.  I later found out that knife saved my life, because those same muggers killed someone a few days before.  And by the way, they got no money off me, only a cheap plastic flashlight.  After that I bought my first pistol (I already owned a rifle; but you can't carry that on the street).  My first pistol was a .44 black powder single action 1851 confederate navy six shooter replica.  The next time someone tried to mug me, they ended up running away.  and that's why I love guns.  I actually can shoot a revolver way more accurately than most semiautos; but my .45 PS9 is def my war pistol.  Heckler and Koch.  When others compromise, they don't.
Also, I love the G3 rifle they make.  Just the noise that .308 NATO cartridge makes as you pull the trigger is a pretty good deterrent for any potential threats.  Also, that gun happens to weigh about 13 lb. and firing it, even as suppressing fire is an act of violence.  Even the brass will hit you so hard.  BTW, .308 Winchester happens to be the same caliber as an m-60 belt fed multipurpose machine gun.  I'll take the G3 over the m-60, though.  Roller locked, cocked, and ready to rock.  BTW, the history of why the G3 is one of the most accurate, powerful, and reliable weapons in the world even now in the 21st century is truly amazing.  You can throw sand at that bitch by the scoop and it just grinds it into powder.  Headshot biotch.  That's a thing gamers say, right?  Headshot?  Is this thing on?
Nailed it, yo.

Ok, I haven't slept a wink; but Imma say something....

My brother was asking me some weird questions last night.  I will not reveal my identity, nor his.   I will say this:  If anyone so much as touches a hair on my brother's head, there is no corner in the world where that person can ever hide from me and my sword.  Stupid only lasts a lifetime; but dead is forever.

Shit fuck shit

A very wise man once said to me that the only thing you ever get out of life is 24 hours in a day, and it's up to you what you do in that time.  I'm worried about someone, because he asked me something, and I hope he doesn't do anything stupid.  Shit fuck shit.  It's not even 3 a.m. here yet.

What do you say when you're all out of words, and everybody is asleep?  What do you say when you don't know what to say?

What do you say when you lead by example, and your example is taken the wrong way?

The only thing you can say then is shit fuck shit.

Update

Ok, so adsense recently told me I'd violated their terms of service.  That means unless they change their policies, I stand to make zero dollars off them in the future.  That does not mean I'm not gonna post anymore, nor that I will censor myself to fit their terms of service.  I never said this was a family channel or a kid's channel.  I wouldn't mind this channel being age restricted either.  In fact, I'm gonna look into that, or if you guys know how to make that happen, please let me know.
More Kilka and Sophia coming soon; but this new story arc introduces new recurring characters, and it's gonna be a looooonggggggg sssssssssssssttttttttttttooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyy arc.  I haven't completely hashed  it out; but the cool thing is I might be able to make the models available to you in Papekura, so you can make your own Kilka and Sophes costumes next Halloween, and the other thing, is this next story arc doesn't center too much around K&S; but more on K&S's frienemies.  Also, I think I pretty much have the transforming trikes worked out, just have to make miniature functioning models of them.  Also trying to make a Youtube comedy channel; but out of that, a K&S channel might be born

Semi-automatics vs. Full Autos

Ok, so the laws in most places make a big deal out of full autos vs. semiautos.  Let me introduce you to the concept of bump fire.  Yeah, mothafucka, I'm firing a revolver full auto just by placing my thumbthrough my belt loop.  Just look up bumpfire on Youtube.  You'll see what I'm talking about.

Emily

Emily was this Chinese girl I met off craigslist, who happened to have a cum fetish.  She loved to swallow semen.  She also charged for doing it; but I think mostly she just liked to suck cock, and swallow cum.
Here are a couple of pics of her.  I only dated her once BTW; but the memory of how she swallowed my semen is vivid in my mind:

That girl loves cock.  Trust me on that, and she's also bisexual.  She also looks better in person than in her pics.  Pics kinda suck.  You gotta get the lighting right and whatnot; but driving down to the Peninsula to have her swallow my cum was so worth it.

Ballbusting

There are people that have a nut kicking fetish. And there is actually a name for it. It's called ballbusting, which I think is an appropiate name for it. My dog actually headbutted right on the balls a couple of weeks ago, and I got so pissed at her there are no words for it. Anyone that goes for my balls is gonna get a good beating at least, and a knife in the clavicular artery at worst. She didn't hit me too hard, so I just beat her around a little; which she totally deserved.
Please don't ask me any more about this.  Just knowing that there are people who are into CBT horrifies me.  Getting hit on the balls is painful; but it also makes you like 5 times as mad  as it hurts, don't ever go near a man's balls unless you're just playing with them, and certainly don't kick or punch a man in the balls unless he asks you to.  If anyone ever hits me in the balls during an actual fight,  I'm so breaking their neck, and ripping their head off with my bare hands right afterwards.  I don't fuck around.  It has been many years since I stopped fucking around.

Lake Anza

Driving through there you always have to be careful. So many deer. One time A bunch of my friends went over there, and I think they locked their keys in the car or something, and my car was on the fritz, so I had to go find them in a taxicab, and GPS doesn't work out there, and the driver was so stupid, and I was like "don't drive so fast, eejit, you'll hit a fucking deer, And turn on the frigging highbeams!" And he was like "I don't know how to turn them on." And he actually asked me how I meant to pay for the trip, even though he hadn't actually gotten me to the place, and he had previously told me he knew the way there. I told him "Either we find my friends or I'm not paying you a single red cent!"  Of course I always have knives on me,  Sometimes even guns, although that particular time I didn't have a gun. So I wasn't worried.  I could probably have left him down a hill, then driven my friends off the hills once I turned on the highbeams on. 
Then by some miracle we managed to find them, because I recognized the parking lot, and I actually had to get out of the car and yell to find them.  I think they actually managed to open the trunk and dogpiled in it to stay warm because when I actually got there, there were actually a couple of them in the trunk. The hack actually got a pretty nice fare off driving them around SF.  That doesn't mean he is not a fucktard, because anyone that doesn't know how to turn on the highbeams on his car is totally a fucktard.
BTW, if you know that you are about to hit a deer, don't brake.  Accelerate instead, that increases the probability of it flying over your car because of the momentum.  Do not EVER brake to avoid running over an animal.  As a driver you have a higher responsibility.  That responsibility is to yourself, and your passengers. If you try to avoid hitting a dog, and end up killing your children, to me you are worse than shit.

Coconut

Ok, so I've already said I hate condoms.  Coconut was this girl I met off the street who had a bustier, and was fucking dead sexy.  I only fucked her like five times; but we never used condoms, and I came inside her every single time.  I fucking love black girls.  One time she even hugged me in a certain way to push me deeper inside her, and make me come faster.  Goddamnit, I miss that girl.  She also had something in common with Crystal.  She was a snappy dresser, although Crystal was a petite (She actually wore some Bebe clothes sometimes; but she always looked so fine), and Coconut was taller.  Taller than me even, not lanky or anything, she certainly  had the T&A, She was just taller than me.  Like maybe 3 inches.  Let me reiterate that I love black girls.  I have had sex with a lot of women in my life.  Only like 10% of those have been latinas, and some of those latinas didn't even know Spanish.  My baby's mother can speak Spanish; but she can't read it.  My daughter even tried to p'wn me at Spanish.  Epic fail.

Lola

So Lola was this girl I met on craigslist.  One of the reasons I contacted her, is that she specified she wanted condomless sex.  She might have been a dancer; because she wore ballet shoes, and she was very buff.  She actually had like an eight pack.  You have to do so many crunches to have an eight pack, and that much definition.  So we started talking; but she was actually extremely bad at small talk, so I asked her, "do you want to suck it for a while?" and she did, then I fucked her, and she actually used her feet to push me deep inside her.  I fucking love when girls do that.  Just to make it clear.   I did come inside her.  I've lost track of her since then.  I feel sorry about that, because I want another few shots at that mouth and pussy.

Little Update

I'm starting a new story arc with Kilka and Sophia.  Please be patient.  I'm dedicating most of my time to other projects, plus I have family obligations and my disease to deal with.

The Greatest Love of All

You must love yourself greatly before you can love anyone else.  Then if you are lucky enough to have children, Love your children.  Women are a dime a dozen; but children, dogs and horses will give you their loyalty.  I've had more women than I can count; but I have only one daughter, one dog, and I can get laid pretty much any time I want for like $10.00.  I now only need a horse, except the terrain here is not fit for horse riding, and I don't have a fucking saddle.  My daughter is badass BTW.  She beats up boys older than her.  She takes after me.

Hillary Clinton

Fucking HypocriteEnough said.  Stupid cunt.  How dare she insult people that have actually been under fire, or even at gunpoint?  That is not a thing you fucking do!!!

Underage Girls

Ok, I have always said that I'm not a hypocrite.  This is me naked, completely sincere.  Marla and Crystal were both 17; but in the verge of turning 18 when I first met them.  I had long relationships with both of them.  In fact, I'm not quite sure if Marla's daughter isn't mine.  But there is another girl, and this truly bothers me, because I'm not sure.  I was actually just looking for Selena; but I saw her, and I picked her up.  She asked me for a 20 for half and half.  At the time, I just thought she was a petite girl.  Now, in hindsight, I wonder if she wasn't a very young runaway being pimped, and exploited.  There are a lot of those in Oakland.  It gives me a lot of remorse, because with Marla, and Crystal, I actually built a relationship; but I don't even know that one girl's name, and I'm fairly sure that if she wasn't underage, she was being pimped and exploited.  I would definitely do something about it now; but I was too young and dumb back then.  This is why advocate the legalization of prostitution, because if you regulate it, the trafficking will stop, or at least be greatly reduced; because I can't be sure this girl was underage; but I've seen a lot of very obviously underage girls on International Ave. and I'm sure that happens all over the place.

Scammers

You can do it online, or you can do it in real life.  But I WILL TELL YOU THIS: Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you.  I will come out naked with two blades, and you will be disapperead from the face of the earth.  I am the ripper, tearer, slasher, gouger, I am the teeth in the darkness, the talons in the night, do not fuck with me unless you mean to commit suicide.

Stalkers

Stalkers could be fun to talk to on the phone, if they were funny and switched it up a little. But they just repeat themselves over and over. I remember this one girl who lived next door to me and spread rumors that I would yell "I'm the smartest man in Berkeley!" when I masturbated, and she would prank call me like all the time. I guess she must have had a crush on me or something, and she wanted me for herself, even though she had a boyfriend.
She would actually call me out on being a swinger, which is something I'm not quite sure how she found out about; but I've never made any bones about it.  I've never heven had a wife; but I've had sex with a lot of other men's wives.  And my other next door neighbors were also swingers, and although I'm not quite sure if she ever knew it, she definitely never called them on it. 
Now me being the smartest man in Berkeley is an inside joke between me and my friends.
I'll say this though:
If anyone tries to break into my house, I will come out buttnaked, doublefisting swords. I'm so done fucking around.
And it bears emphasizing that if you ever see a naked man double fisting swords, run the fuck away.  You are so dead if you can't outrun him.
 

Skinny Dipping

Here's what I do personally. Most people that know me have seen me naked, and I have no shame. I'm a guy; but I don't really care if anyone takes nude pics of me and posts them in the internet. I actually got naked once as a prank at the SF Science Exploratorium. It was really late and the middle of winter, and we were by the duck pond. I was like "let's go skinny dipping," and my female friend was like, I totally would, if the water weren't freezing cold right now.   That was completely reasonable, and I only meant it as a joke.

Then one of my male friends goes like "I'm gonna go for a walk," so it's me, my other male friend, and my female friend sitting in a bench waiting for him to get back, then the girl goes, "we should prank him by stripping naked for when he gets back." She and I totally got nude, my other male friend pussed out, and only took of his shirt, although we've gone hot tubing naked together, and also we skinny dipped at Lake Anza. Plus, I used to skinny dip in the pool in college, like all the time.

I actually became my co-op's pool manager, just so there would be more nakedness in the house, because when I moved in, the pool was a swamp; but after I got done with it, the water was clear, and there was a lot of nakedness going on over there, and I skinny dipped with a lot of my house mates in that pool. I was actually very sad to hear recently that the pool has been filled in with dirt, and is now being used as a garden.
Anyways, at the Exploratorium, our friend came back from his walk, and laughed his ass off when he saw us naked.

Starla

Ok , so this girl was a prostitute in Berkeley, on the San Pablo stroll.  She was a latina, pimped, and hanging out with a black girl.  Pimped girls are always stupid, they will lean on your window and try to negotiate with you, or not even recognize you're trying to pick them up.  She actually came up to the window, and I, in rare form, actually negotiated with her for a blowjob without a condom.  Once she got in, and we went to a place on the side streets, I needed to pee, so I went to do that, when I got back to the car, she had a boxcutter out, and a flashlight.  She said she wanted to check my dick for STD's  I told her I wasn't going to let her anywhere near my genitals with a sharp thing, and to either give me the boxcutter, or get the fuck out of my car.  She was like "You can't leave me here sir."  And I was like "I WILL leave you here if you don't give me the box cutter."  And she was like "How do I know you don't have a knife on you?"  And I responded "I do have a knife on me, and yet, you wouldn't know it if I hadn't told you, because I'm not stupid enough to pull it out if I'm not gonna use it.  She then handed me the boxcutter and sucked my dick.  She told me to drop her off at the McDonald's parking lot near Ashby.  I gave her the boxcutter back, and actually looked for her again; but I never found her.

Livestreaming

There are some things I shall never livestream.  They include EVERYTHING. Anyone that livestreams something, question their motives for doing that.

Navigation

Ok, so maybe your gps broke, or you don't have a compass with you; but you happen to have a map, how do you find your bearings?  If you have a compass, don't follow the needle, you will end up walking in circles and the coyotes or the wolves will feast on you.  What you do is you look at the needle  Figure out the shortest route to civilization, and depending on your latitude, you travel at the times it's most comfortable to walk.  You never follow a compass needle, or you end up walking in circles.  You look at the needle, and pick out a landmark, then walk towards that, or you watch where the sun rose (that's east) or where it set (that's west)  If your left arm is pointing west, and your right arm is pointing east, then your stupid face is facing due north, and your ass is about to get buttfucked by my dick.  Just kidding, somebody else is gonna rape your ass.  You're not my type.

Greetings Russia

I greatly admire Vladimir Putin; just because he is legit badass.  I have noticed a lot of you have been reading my blog lately, and I just wanted to say hi.  BTW those Migs and Sukhoi jets you guys make are so badass.  I'd take either of them over an F-18.  I'd love it if you hooked me up  with a couple of recoil operated 30mm gatling air cannons.

Soup

Ok, so there are like a few soups I like.  Cream of tomato with Créme Fresche, and cream of potato with cheese.  I don't really like any others except like this one that actually has porkchops in it, and rice, and this particular kind of beans, and this one herb called pitos.
Other than that, I use cream of mushroom to make Alfredo sauce, so why the fuck do they have a souperhero trying to pimp soup to me?  Either I like the soup, or I don't.
Also, all you moteherfuckers that love sopa de patas, y'all can suck my ass.  Seriously?  Soup made out cow hooves and cow intestines?  My mother tried to feed me that once.  I gave her the well deserved silent treatment for two days after that.  I also absolutely refused to eat egg soup, and dried fish soup (kind of traditional here during easter, and most people hate it.  My theory is that they do it as a kind of penance; but fuck you if you think I'm gonna eat that shit).  Don't eat shit just because it's traditional, or try to force your kids to eat it.  I got into an actual fistfight with my dad over something like that.  I couldn't have possibly won that fight, and he cleaned my clock; but he couldn't really beat me too bad, because my teachers at school would have called CPS, and they would have put him in jail; but he then took it out on someone else and got the shit sued of him.
Now let me tell you what happens when you are an asshole to your wife and children.  Your wife will divorce you.  Your firstborn from another woman other than your wife, will not even acknowledge your existence.  The next one in line who is the only one that will ever give you a granddaughter, will never fully trust you.
The next one in line will get so mindfucked that he will be a virgin until he meets a woman ten years his senior.  He will marry that goat faced woman, and then be surprised when she can't bear him children.  She will become a vegan, and instead of telling her "fuck you, I eat whatever I want!" He'll start eating meat behind her back, smoking weed behind her back, asking her for permission to have a beer at social events, and getting shitfaced behind her back.  Then she'll find out about all of this, and ask the wussie for a divorce, as well she should, and the asshole will agree to support her and even live with her for 5 motherfucking years, while she goes out on dates with her new boyfriend.
Then, that same asshole is going to hit on your granddaughters mother.  Now, your son that is that baby's father, has already told your granddaughter's mother what an asshole you have been to him, and then his brother makes a pass at her; because of how badly you mindfucked him.  I'd say at that point your chances of meeting your granddaughter are somewhere between zero and fugggetaboutit, mothefucka!
This actually saddens me a little; because I would like for my father to meet my daughter; but first he would have to deal with my brother, and that's prettty hard to do in the US, although if he came here, I would so drag that fatass all up and down my floor.  I'd be like  "Oh, so your name is in the house's title?  Here's puke in yo face!"  At that point I might stab him, or maybe stab him,  another option would be to stab him and gut him like a fish, except that I would actually gut and cook, and eat the fish; but I wouldn't bother wasting that much time on the turd that is my brother. I'd just do what is necessary, and then say "Served, biotch!"

Liars

Somebody has been lying to me. They will have to answer for it. Sooner than they think.

Seriously ppl, there are good liars, there are bad liars, and then there are people who are so bad at it, that they shouldn't even lie.

Those people never end up well.

None of them.

Liar pyromania mode, activate! Target their pants!  I love the smell of pants and napalm in the morning.

I kill liars with fire!

Kim Delaney Drunk?

Ok, Watch this vid:
Kim Dalaney's Speech at some political convention, maybe with some teleprompter probs, I don't know, because I couldn't see the teleprompter on the vid.
She is definitely drunk; but my question is, why does anybody care? She is just some actress that I'd never even heard of. I wouldn't respect her opinion even if she were stone cold sober. People respect my opinion even when I'm a little drunk, and specifically, because I would never get THAT drunk. I did it a couple of times when I was young; but sheesh, what is wrong with her at her age?
I mean, it's her right to get shitfaced; but if you're gonna be making a public appearance, I wouldn't recommend it; but mostly, who the fuck asks a starlet to speak at a political convention? That's just retarded.
IMHO, whoever asked her to do that must have been way more shitfaced when they offered her the gig, than she was when she delivered the speech.

Holy Fucking Shit. Nothing Good Can Come off This

First read this article.  Not the whole thing, necessarily; but the last part, at least.
War and Terrorism, All Dressed up and Ready to Rock
Holy shit! I didn't believe it at first about the Boneyard; but I can clearly see a shitload of Tweety trainers, one F-16 viper, at least three B-1 bombers, an A-10 Warthog, an F-15 Eagle, an F-14 Tomcat, and a lot of other very outdated aircraft that should definintely be scrapped; but if the modern aircraft are no good anymore, scrap them. Don't keep them out in the middle of the dessert for no goddamned good reason. You realize how much damage a terrorist could do with a B-1? 9/11 would look like popping off a firecracker in comparison.

Correction. There's like 25+ A-10 warthogs there. Those things are like flying tanks. Their 30mm Gatling guns can kill any tank, and the recoil from them is so hard that if you fire the gun for more than a few seconds, it will send the aircraft into a fucking stall because the recoil will actually overpower the engines.

Shit, there's like a ton of F-16's and B52's out there too. I feel betrayed by the organizations in the government I trusted for over 20 years. I am pissed!!!

Also, a bunch of F-4 phantoms.  Those are completely obsolete; but I bet there are a bunch of billionaires that would pay big skrilla to own one. I know I would. They are suppersonic, and they look badass. And if I couldn't have one of those, I'd take an F-5. Of which there are plenty too.

Goddamnit, they even have F-18's there. Just sitting there. Waiting for a terrorist attack. TSA molests you every time you want to fly commercial; but there are f-18's sitting in the middle of the fucking desert, just waiting to be hijacked. fuck the hell out of me.

Also, I won't mention this explicitly; but did anyone notice those huge circles and instictively knew what they are?  I bet I could get past one of those quite easily.  TSA worrying about people's afros, or people bringing cookies on a plane doesn't worry me.  This kind of shit worries me.

And if you ask me why I am so worried about all this shit even though I don't live in the US anymore, I'll tell you exactly why.  Because my daughter still lives there, goddamnit, and if anybody messes with my daughter, may whatever god they believe in forgive them, for I will not.

Explosion!

Holy fuck! So like ten minutes ago I was toasting the bread for my breakfast sandwich in the oven, and I saw that the flame in the oven had blown out, so I turn off the gas, I try to ventilate the area, then I try sniff for propane smell, couldn't smell any, then I try to relight the fucking thing, and it goes KABOOM!!! I could feel the flames licking at my face, and the stove actually physically moved. I'm actually amazed that I am neither dead, nor in a burn ward, and I even still have my eyebrows and eyelashes. But seriously, holy fucking shit fuck fuck. 

The sandwich was good though.

I don't really understand how bread drenched in bacon fat can not ignite into a flash fire in the middle of a propane explosion; but it didn't, and I was able to finish toasting it, and to make my sandwich; but still, holy fuck.

 Now I can genuinely call that mofo a pussy.  I just got blowed up, and I didn't have any of that shit on me.  Just a t-shirt and briefs.

Chile Peppers

I lived in Mexico for two years when I was a kid, and I hated chiles back then; but I remember this time we went for a breakfast meeting at my construction job,when I was in my twenties, and the waitress comes up to me and asks me if I wanted some Tabasco sauce. The fact that I'm Hispanic might have been her tipoff; but she didn't ask anybody else that.  And it's not like I ordered huevos rancheros or anything like that.  I ordered like pancakes and scrambled eggs, because they didn't even make huevos rancheros there. It's funny to me.
These days I won't eat a cheesesteak sandwich without Jalapeños, and I won't eat green mangoes, or what we call arrayán down here (I say down here, because the same name has been assigned to different fruits in different countries.  What I'm referring to is like a guava; but smaller.  If you cut it, its insides are whiter, and it tastes more sour than a guava). Without a healthy dose of ashuaiste (that's shucked and ground up pumpkin seeds,Which is a little weird; because I don't see any pumpkin patches anywhere around here.  Even though it's almost Halloweeny time) and habañero sauce.

Jehova's Witnesses

Fucking Jehova's witnesses. I fucking hate those assholes!
Josie did a very good job of tearing up their pants though. Wolfdogs rule!
And me coming out the door wearing nothing but briefs and a t-shirt was also probably pretty intimidating. Seriously, there are other ways to proselytize. The door to door method on Saturday mornings is the worst idea evar.  My parting word to them was "fuckyou!"
What the fuck is wrong with these people?  Seriousla.  They will respect my authorita goddamnit!  Either that, or they will end up buried in my front yard in a shallow grave with a metric buttload of lye on them, so they won't stink, and nobody hears from them again.

Little Update

Ok, so I've been fairly sick lately; and I'm working on some other projects; but I'm working on a wicked Kilka and Sophia story arc.  I just won't be dedicating that much time to the blog probably, especially because I'm still working out the transformation of the trikes into battle armor.  I really want to work that out before I publish the next episode; but I also have a novella I'm working on, and I'm also trying to build a Youtube channel.  Although that's nothing like the content on here; but if it happens, you'll get the URL.

Knives and Swords

Ok.  Seriously, if you like using knives or swords in fights, don't use double edged ones.  Use either bowie style blades (that actually works with my machete quite well), or use a single edged katana.  Preferably a handforged one.  Also, preferably a straight one, like the Hawei Ninjatou.

Swimming

Swimming or diving are some of the healthiest exercises you can do.  I've never done it competitively; but I'm pretty good at it, and it WILL make you look hot.
I didn't get hot until college either. That's when people mistakenly thought I was a swimmer, although even in high school people knew better than to pick a fight with me. Nobody ever did that, because I had that vibe of "you give me a swirly, I'll fucking stab you." That worked out pretty good for me.
And I actually am a pretty strong swimmer and diver. Kinda runs in the fam, although I don't really practice that much. There is no pool near my house; but in college, I could outdive pretty much anyone at my co-op. Because in high school, I was actually pretty much forced to swim and dive everyday by my father and my stepmother whenever we lived in a place that had a pool, and in college, I actually was the pool maintenance guy at the co-op. My mother was also a swimmer.
My mother was actually a competitive swimmer, and she actually had a reputation for her swimming. I actually dove into the pool at my co-op for some trinket some girl had dropped there in the cold of winter. I brought it up from the deep end. I don't remember much about it, except that the water was fucking freezing, and I got it back from the icy depths where no one else dared dive.
Also, when you keep the pool clean, you can go skinny dipping with hot chicks.  Fuckyeah!!!
I mean, when I first moved into that co-op that pool was disgusting.  I had to look for the pool supplies and clean it religiously.  Then we drained it, and some skateboarders demolished the plaster, so we had to fix it with epoxy and with epoxy paint.  They did a little mural on it, and they were trying to do more; but eventually, I was like "It's fucking summer, let's just fill in the pool."  Yeah, I'm the one that did that.  It was like 4 am, and I never confessed back then; but yeah, I filled the goddamned pool, and if Rob Schwaggert has a prob with it, he can come and fight me.  Fucking crankhead.

Selena

So when I first met Selena, I didn't realize she was an opiate addict,  I just knew she was a very sexy girl, and she gave me a very good blowjob with a condom.  The second time I met her, I saw the track marks.  I didn't have a condom, and she gave me one of the best blowjobs of my life.  After I came in in her mouth, and she spit my cum, she told me to kiss her in the cheek, because she thought I wouldn't kiss her in the mouth after ejaculating in it, although I totally would have. I kept looking for her.  Even got a few blowjobs from her frienemy.  Finally after two years I found out the truth.  Her opiate addiction caused her to get an infection on her leg.  She went into a coma, and had to be intubated.  I saw this black girl, and I tried to pick her up; but by the time I turned the three corners she was gone, and I saw this sexy girl sitting there. Then I recognized her.  I called out "Selena!"  She asked me how I knew her name.  I told her my name, because I was in a different car from the one that she knew me by, and I had cut my hair shorter.   She then explained me all about the addiction, and the coma, and how she had almost died.  We then went to a place in the waterfront, and I fucked her without a condom, and I came inside of her.
I have ejaculated inside of many women's vaginas; but that was the most satisfying sexual experience of my life. 
When you look for someone for many years, and you finally find them, and you pump your semen in them, that's like "what more can you possibly ask for?"
 When post coitus a girl looks you in the eye, not just any girl; but the girl you have wanted to have sex with, for many years, and she laughs and says, "I can feel your warm cum sliding down my booty crack."  That is so frigging hot.
I did it, and I've had sex with a lot of other girls since; but there is only one that could make me happier.  Elizabeth.

Boobs

Boobs are the nourishment of children.  They are the bringers of courage in men.  Nothing in the world would get done if it were not for boobs.  And if you are a woman, and you have big titties, and you are showing them off, don't blame any man within your vecinity for looking at them.  That's kind of the point, isn't it?

Greetings to Mother Russia

I have noticed that you have been reading some of my articles lately, I thank you for your readership.  You are too kind to take an interest in my writing.  I hope you will continue to read my writing.

Death

When the whirly blades come out, especially if I'm naked, you are so fucked.  People do not fight other people naked unless they mean bidness.  If I'm naked I'm either gonna fight you or fuck you, or do both.  Either way, when my blades come out, you better run away as fast as you can, and as far as you can.  My blades be deadly, mothefucka.

Aversion

Here's what fucking happens.  Sometimes, some women develop an aversion to men.  Most of the time it's not logical.  It's not because of anything the man has done, It's because she has been molested, or in her own mind she imagines shit about that man, that is not true.  I neither need nor want such worhless women.  Worthless women, please do not waste your time, or mine.
I know that my last post was what might be considered sexist; but a couple of women have been competing for my afections, and they both have been doing it in the most annoying way.  If you want a man, go over to his damned house and fucking talk to him, and then have sex with him, or at least give him a blow job.  It's not fucking rocket science; but if you keep hesitating about whether or not you want to come date me, you can go fuck yourself.  It's extremely annoying dealing with women that expect you to house them; but are total flakes.  Extremely.  Nobody needs pussy that bad.

Breaking Up Is Not so Hard to Do Part 3

This is how you handle a woman, even one you haven't that much of a bond with.  You bitchslap her, you send her back into the kitchen barefoot, and she better come back with a samich.  Otherwise, you punch her in the face, because she FUCKING DESERVES IT!   Do not fuck with me bitches.  I am the king.  You are dross off the swamp.

Prostitution

Ok, so here in El Salvador, prostitution is pretty much legal.  Pimping is not.  What I would like to see is the brothels regulated, just to make sure there aren't any underage girls in them.  Brothels ARE illegal; but nobody enforces that, and it concerns me, because some types of prohibition have unintended consequences.  We will never get rid of prostitution, and whatever a man and a woman do behind closed doors, and why they do it, or how much money they exchange or anything like that is their own goddamned bidness.  I have actually had men pay me to fuck their wives.  I guess that makes me a whore too; but you wouldn't even know it if I hadn't told you that, so how does that hurt you, why do you care?  Are you one of those people that lies awake at night worried that somebody, somewhere might be having fun?  If you are that type of person, you are contributing to human trafficking.  Also, you are a self-righteous asshole, and I'd nunchaku you so much if you were in front of me.

Islamists

Ok, Islamism is the definition of hypocrisy.  This is how islamists publish porn.  They show you the picture, and then they write some bullshit about how these western infidel women are whores.  Here's a link to a perfect example of that:
Jihad? More like jizz had
And believe me, for every one of those censored pictures, the assholes have an uncensored photoshop elsewhere in the site.  They jack off to the photoshops then call the women whores.  Fucking sexually repressed assholes.
All Islamists are fucking cowards.  They are hoping for 72 virgins in Allah's heaven.  What are they retarded?  I've had sex with a metric buttload of women here, and yet I've never met a virgin,  What, does Allah the merciful piece of shit that is asking you to blow yourself up in exchange for some pussy have a virgin factory in heaven?  No!  Of course he doesn't; but if you want a fight, you challenge, and I set the terms.  I fucking hate Islamists.  I fucking hate them more than I have ever hated anything.

Breaking Up Is Not so Hard to Do Part 2

 Ok, so at some point you realize that that woman has another man, or she is out of love with you; but for whatever reason, even though it would be the easiest thing for her to do, and she used to come see you at least once a week when you first started dating, now it's once a month, and then, you spend three monts without seeing hide or hair of her.  That's when you realize that woman isn't worth her weight in shit.  Still. You give her a second chance  She keeps coming over once a month, then two months pass by, and she doesn't come over.  That's when you tell her to go fuck herself.  I don't have time to waste on trash like that.
I hope she is happy; but she won't have my house, and I bet anyone anything that is actually worth something, that I can find another woman way faster than she can find another man that is worth dating.  She is older than I.  As a man gets older he gets richer, and wiser.  As a woman gets older, she gets weaker, and uglier.
She still calls me. In fact, she called me earlier today.  Maybe she wanted to come to my house.  I didn't even answer.  I am not that desperate for pussy, and I never will be.
To any man that is worth a fuck,  bitches are a dime a dozen.  I could get laid at least thrice tonight with different women, if I wanted to, except I already have a new live-in girlfriend moving in next week, because I'm badass like that.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it, ladies.  Too few women understand that the truly desirable men have options, until they lose them to another woman, and then there's all the crying and all the bullshit, well you know what?  Save it.  You brought it on yourself.
Now a full day has gone by.  I called her last night.  Told her not to call me anymore because of the new live-in girlfriend.  She sent me a text with her email address today.  She doesn't even own a fucking computer or pay for internet access.  What is she?  Fucking stupid?

Cosmo For Guys

Ok, is this really a magazine we need?  We've had Stuff magazine and Maxim, and that other one that is a collection of letters with some incomprehensible meaning, HQM?  I can't fucking remember it for the life of me.  Those are basically the same fucking magazine, and if you read any of those, it means you're gay, so just come to terms with that and come out to your family.
Used to be the men's magazines were Popular Mechanics, Playboy, and Hustler.  Now we have this dross polluting the world.  If you aren't teaching me how to build stuff, or showing me T&A, don't bother, and girls in bikinis don't count.  I want to see them buttnaked.
Also, this scourge of the earth is why when many modern so-called men pop a flat they take out their cell phone and call a tow truck, instead of taking out the tire iron, the jack, and the spare, and changing the goddamned tire.  If you look up "disgrace" in the dictionary, you'll find a picture of a guy with a flat on his car calling a tow truck on his cell phone next to the definition.
What got me into this rant is this experiment by CFG:
What do girls look at when meeting a guy?
And I think they got it all wrong, because I think girls look at your face the most, and although this might be counterintuitive, they look at your legs second, then your butt.  My last girlfriend told me she would love to have my butt and legs, and another girl who wasn't really my girlfriend (although she gave me a topless lapdance once, and she was a very good friend, and she obviously had feelings for me, and I was totally in love with her) once told me that she wished she had the legs of her crossdressing male friend (even though she actually had prettier legs than him).  She actually as a joke, actually asked me once, if I wanted to meet a friend of hers, then she showed me pictures of her; but as soon as I saw the legs I realized it was a man, and I told her "that's a dude."  She then admitted she was playing a joke on me and it was her crossdressing friend that I had met before; but dressed as a man.  With all the makeup on, I didn't recognize him as the same person; but I did recognize that it was a man in drag.  I mean I lived in the SF Bay Area long enough to be able to spot a tranny or a TV from a mile away.
Finally, here's some advice for trannies and TV's:  Don't try to fool people, that's why so many of you end up beat up or killed.  There are way too many people that want trannies and TV's to risk it.  Just be honest with people.  I once punched a TV for trying to fool me, and then not taking "no" for an answer when I realized he was a man (the place was dark; but once I heard his voice I knew it was a man, and I was like get off me, and he was like, "no, I want you to fuck me."  And I was like "get the fuck off me or I'm gonna punch you," and he was like "no," so I punched him, and he stopped bothering me).

Beowulf 2007

Really, my overall veredict, is that Zemeckis sucks. I mean, what man wouldn't have Angie Jollie as his wife; but he had her as a CGI character, with a fucking tentacle, and he totally fucked Beowulf? Stupid.  All of it stupid.

Although I woud have rather had her as a a wife before the plastic surgeries, and that's saying something, I think. I'm not even sure anymore. I can say this. I'm all natural. I'm not sure if people think I'm pretty, or ugly, and I really don't care.

If I could have Angie Jolly as a  wife, I probably would.  Whether she was the fake tits and collagen lips one or the one before all that shit; but I would prefer the all-natural one, and I am saying this pretty much from natural experience, men like to play with boobs; but naturals really are more fun.  Even if they aren't that big.

Also, he could have renamed the movie something else, because that is not Beowulf, and I know the point he was trying to make; but the story of Beowulf is different.  Very different, and there is a very huge plot hole there.  Namely, If Angie Jollie melted my sword with her bare hands, and told me she was lonely, and gifted me her son's head, and wanted me to fuck her, I would totally fuck her; but I would also tell Rothgar to post guards everywhere around her cave, and I would explain to him that the woman shoots fuckin lightning at will, and she really cannot be killed by any man, and that she loves gold, and that the horn is the bargaining chip keeping the peace.  Also, I would go back to fuck her very often, and just talk to her.  I mean, she said she was fucking lonely.

Racial Relations

Actually, America, as racist as it is, is better than most other countries at not being racist. I lived in the US for almost 20 years, and I had friends and lovers of most ethnicities. Here in Central America, I don't see many people other than mestizo, and Americans that are here on business or vacation, also, a few German tourists. If you are particularly dark skinned, your nickname is nigga. If you happen to be Chinese (I guess some Chinese emigrated here after the revolution), people just call you chino.
Black people were actually legally banned from even travelling here for a long time. I'm not sure if they actually are anymore. I hope they're not; but I haven't seen any since I came here, and that pains me, because that just shouldn't be that way.
And when I say for a long time, I mean since like the 1920's or the 1930's, until I don't know when.  I love black people; I've had many black friends and lovers; but I'm not sure if the ban has been removed, although I certainly hope it has.  You don't choose to be born, and you certainly don't choose your ethnicity, and you most definitely cannot change it.
You cannot change your ethnicity, period, and neither can anyone else. So you'd better learn to get along, and to enjoy the rich experiences that these other cultures offer you, and believe me, you will enjoy them.  I have been craving Shawarma for over a year and I only know of one place that offers it here, and it's very far away, so I haven't gone; but I sure as hell loved eating shawarma in the US.
You want pupusas?  They got them in the US; but if you want a proper tamale, you gotta come down here.
Likewise, If I want to properly celebrate Thanksgiving, with all the fixings,  I'd really have to do it in the US.  Thanksgiving down here isn't even a holiday, and you can't get all the shit you need to properly celebrate it.  The most you can get is a turkey, or a large chicken.  That pisses me off, because after 20 years, you get used to some things, and now I can't have them.  I can't possibly find the cranberry sauce down here, or pumpking pie, goddamnit!   And if I want stuffing, I have to fucking make it from scratch.
Even for Xmas people hardly ever make the turkey right.

More Photo Commentary.

So this is the pic collection this time:
Picdump Fails
1.  That's not the Italian flag.  Ever hear of a little country called Israel?
2.  Well, to begin with, there are only 7 days in a week, and if you're closed one of them, that does not equal 8.  Math.  You're doing it wrong.
3.  I'm guessing whoever filled that machine was giving the company the finger, because that's just not how vending machines work; but maybe that machine can be filled like that and still work, although next time someone tries to fill it, they are going to be pissed.
4.  That's just fucked up.
5.  Just use the goddamned stairs, you lazy fuck.  Reminds me of the time I was in an escalator, and it broke, and it took like ten seconds for all the assholes in front of me to realize that a stopped escalator works just like fucking stairs.
6.  Seriously?  That's a fucking brand name?  Because I would not use any product that uses that name.
7.  That's not how you aim a camera, dumbass.
8.  Yes; but not in elemental form, go back to school and learn some science, fucktard.
9.  I agree that hipsters are dangerous, so that's not a fail.
10.  That kid is going to grow up to kill you.
11.  That kid is going to grow up to kill both of you.
12.  Self-explanatory.
13.  If it's not for sale, why bother including the number?
14.  I guess it was just for the photoshoot; but that's not how piercings work.
15.  I'm guessing the guy who welded that together was also trying to give whoever hired him a fuck you, because that is clearly a cock at bottom left.
16.  And another cock.
17.  Lamb IS meat, fucktard.
I'm going to include another article as a bonus, with pictures of underboob, because you know I love boobs, and I prefer underboob to cleavage. Here ya go:  Enjoy.
Underboob

My Mom's Titties

Wow, not sure how to feel about this; but the fact that I sucked my mom's tits, and that I sucked her nipples and motorboated them (I cannot emphasize enough that when I was ten years old, and she was 45, my mom had huge tits, and I loved playing with them, and I'm pretty sure she loved that too) sure seems to interest you guys a lot.
It actually only took me like 5 minutes to convince her to let me suck her nipples and play with those huge breasts the first time, and she could have totally said no; but she didn't.  As I said, I wasn't even aware of how sex worked back then;  but my first sexual experience was playing with my moms titties. It wasn't like a regular thing we did, either; but she did let me play with her boobs a few times, all while I was ten.
Eight years later I had sex with Valerie.  That was the first time I put my penis in a woman.  She wasn't really even worth the time.  I won't write about that; because that sucked; but my mom's breasts were hot.  I really miss my mom's tits when she was 45 and she let me motorboat her and suck her nipples and play with those huge breasts, and I'm not quite sure why she let me do that; because I was breastfed as a baby; but it's one thing to breastfeed your baby, and it's quite another to let your ten year old play with your boobs when you're not even milking.  But we did do that.  I'm not quite sure why I asked her, and then insisted, and as I said, I think she mostly agreed because after she divorced my dad she never dated again, and she wanted some sex, and me asking to play with her boobs was an easy way to get sexual stimuli.
I also can't believe I'm actually writing that my first sexual experience was with my mom, except it totally was, and I'd be a hypocrite to say otherwise.
Here's a little photo montage of my mom around the time she let me suck on her boobs.  You can tell just from the pictures that she was hot; but what you can't see in the pics is just how big her boobs were, also, she was a competitive swimmmer in high school, so her body was pretty hot overall.  Don't ask me why the pictures are all in black and white.  I know that by the time they were taken there was definitely color photography, so I think it was like an artistic decision by either my mom or the photographer.  I think it was probably my mom's decision, because those are definitely different photo shoots, and they are all in black and white.

I will not fucking apologize for playing with my mom's titties.  I enjoyed that immensely.
That's human sexuality for you.  Sometimes a 45 year old woman will have what might be considered an improper sexual relationship with her 10 year old son, and I'm not saying that my mom was a child molester or anything like that.  I was the one that asked her to let me play with her boobs. And as I mentioned before, I'm not quite sure why; but I did ask her, and once she refused, I kept asking until she took off her blouse, and she let me go at those beautiful, beatiful tits.  I mean seriously, my mom had huge tits, and even at 45 she had a hot body.  I hope I look as hot as she did back then in 9 years.  In fact I hope I look that hot forever, because my mom was very hot at 45, and if I even knew how to give a woman oral sex when I was ten, I totally would have done her the favor.
In fact, I'm only sorry I didn't eat her out back then, because the reason that woman didn't date anyone after she divorced my dad was in large part because of me.  But back then I really just didn't understand how penises or vaginas worked.
The extent of my sexual knowledge was that I wanted to play with my mom's boobs, and she let me.
In fact, if my mom were still alive, I would eat her out, and I would probably fuck her too.
That woman deserved way more sexual satisfaction than she ever got in life, and she did that because of me.
I actually have this recurring dream where I fuck my mom.  Don't ask me why.  I just have that dream.
Dreams are not predictors of the future, unlike some people will tell you.  Dreams are just like something that is swimming around your head, and you ignore it when you're awake; but once you go to sleep, it creeps up, and so I have fucked my mom in my dreams, several times.  I don't choose to have that dream.  In fact, I hate having any dreams at all; but every once in a while, I dream that I'm fucking my mom, and I've had that recurring dream many times.
I fucking hate dreams, because it usually means my potassium level has gone to shit; but if I could fuck my mom when she was 45, I would totally do that.  I would give that woman the best sex of her life, because she deserved it.  Everyone deserves to have some badass sex.  The problem is that I really didn't know anything about sex back then.  I just wanted to play with her huge titties.  Don't ask me why I wanted to do that, or why she let me; but it did happen.  And it was fucking awesome.
I loved my mom's huge titties.  Period.

Theresa

Ok, so I mentioned how my mom's boobs were the first I ever played with and sucked on.  The biggest I ever I sucked on and played with were Theresa's. 
Theresa was this black girl.  She was a little overweight; But she had huge tits.  Those are seriously the hugest tits I've ever seen.  Ever.  I'm not quite sure they even make bras in that size, because both of her breasts weighed like five pounds each.  Seriously, I couldn't believe that breasts could be that huge if I hadn't actually seen it.
And I did cum in her mouth, and in her pussy, while playing with her tits.

The Word Cuca

Ok, that word has a double meaning.  It can mean a Cockroach,  or a girls pussy.  I first learned that word because there are a lot of cockroaches here in El Salvador (it's the goddamn tropics, so sometimes, we even have roaches that fly, and those roaches are huge.  You think stomping on a roach is hard?  Try killing one that flies); but my mom also referred to her vagina as her cuca.
This is in referrence to this vid:
My cuca is out
I never saw it; but that's how my mom always referred to her vagina.  Funny to know that's how they refer to vaginas in Italy.
I also saw her topless multiple times, and I sucked her breasts when I was way too old to do it.  I'm not sure why my mom let me suck on her breasts when I was ten years old, except that she wasn't dating anyone, and she probably wanted some sexual stimulation.
And I did love sucking her boobies, because my mom had pretty huge breasts.
She was the adult, and I was the kid, so she was the one that should have set boundaries.  I was only ten, so I really had no comprehension of sexuality; but I did enjoy playing with my moms boobs.
I did have something of an Oedipus complex with her, and those were great boobs to play with.  Goddamnit I loved her boobs.  I loved the hell out of them.
Then, in 2003, she turned on me.  I was working 70 motherfucking hours a week.  I stopped talking to her because she thought my lack of sleep was a sign of drug addiction, and I just hung up on her whenever she called me.  In 2005 my mom got very sick as a result of her being an agricultural engineer and working with herbicides without ever wearing a respirator.  From being bedridden, she got a pulmonary embolism.  She died the same year my daughter was born.  I miss her, and I miss sucking on her boobs.
Goddamnit my mom was sexy, and her boobs were huge, and I loved her tits.  There are many girls I've fucked; but there is only one that had bigger tits than my mom, and there is only one other one that could compete with my mom's tits, and she'd probably lose the tit contest.
I didn't really understand sex when I was 10; but yeah, my first true sexual experience was playing with my mom's boobs.  And I enjoyed that.
Also, I will not make excuses about playing with my mom's boobs.  And if you demand that out of me, come over here and make me excuse the fact that I loved my mom's boobs, because she had epic boobs.  Seriously, my my mom had huge tits, and I loved playing with those breasts, and she also enjoyed when I played with them.  She had boob for days, and she loved when I sucked on those bigass titties.  And I loved to suck on them.

Coming Out of the Closet Part 3

Ok, maybe I like to suck dicks, and swallow cum.  Or maybe I like to fuck girls and come inside them.  If you have a problem with what I do behind closed doors with other people,  you know what you get?  You get stabbed in the chest.
As I've mentioned before, I have too many lesbian and bisexual friends to stand for some arbitrary religious bigotry.  If your god hates my friend then I hate your god, and your god does not exist; but I do exist, and heads will roll if anyone fucks with my friends.
Katanas and machetes trump some fairy tale about some god.
Who's your god?  The guy standing in front of you with a katana and a machete is your god.  And if you are on that religious bigotry kick, I will chop your head off.  Period.

Manners

So I went to the store today.  I just needed to get like $15 out of the ATM and buy some booze, some Gatorade, an artichoke, a flashlight and a a pair of leather gloves.  The army was there, they even went into the hardware store that I went into, and they didn't dis me; but these asshole teenagers almost got stabbed to death for talking shit prior to that.  Do not ever insult a person unless you are ready for the consequences; because you don't know what the consequences might be.  Also, last night, I almost uppercutted this motorcyclist.  You know what's worse than getting run over by a motorcycle?  Running into a fist at 30 kmh, plus the velocity of the fist.  Even if you're wearing a helmet, if you do that, you will die, so don't do that shit.

Kilka and Sophia Episode Sex (6)

I kind of wondered if I should write it this way; but this is the way I'm gonna write it; because I decided Kilka is bisexual, and now you will see it.
So Kilka calls up his cousin in-law and he asks him "can you get a platoon to  my factory  soon?  I will train them in the use of the military trikes, and then we can go to the presidential palace and take that place."  Two hours later Kilka is training a platoon on the use of the military transforming trikes.  He leaves the liger behind, and takes one of his military trikes, with Sophia and the platoon in tow.
They get to the area of the Presidential Mansion, and start shooting the cops.  It's not even that much of a challenge; because once the military trikes transform, they have a lot of armor, plus two guns on the front, and an anti-tank rifle, and a a TOW missile, which is usually not necessary.  Then, at the gates of the presidential Mansion, Kilka throws a grenade to open the gates, he then tells Sophia to follow him.  The platoon stays back.
Kilka yells "Leeroy Jenkins!"  and he crashes through the door, with Sophia in tow.
His cousin says "Well he just ran in there, didn't he?  don't follow him, just set up a perimeter, and that is a historical door that he just broke, goddamnit, bull in a china shop."
Once Kilka and Sophes are inside, all these cops and the VP come out, the VP is wielding an RPG, and Kilka tells him "if you use that indoors, the whole building will fall on top of us."
Still, the VP shoots, and Kilka is like "huh, that was a very weak explosion.  Oh shit; I can't move.  That wasn't an RPG, it was an EMP.  Can you move Sophie?  My trike is completely immobilized."
Sophie answers "yes master, thanks to you building a  faraday cage into me, I am not dead; but I cannot move either, also, all my communication functions are dead..."
The VP instructs the cops to cut Kilka out of his armor trike with the jaws of life, then strip him naked.  Then to put him in this room.  Then he tells him, "I'm gonna fuck you."
Kilka responds "I didn't know you liked to fuck men; but I like to suck dick, and to get fucked in the ass, so that's cool with me."
The VP then tells the cops to leave him alone with Kilka.  They stand outside the door. They hear noises, and they ask the VP if everything is allright.  The VP tells them to go defend the damn place because by this time there is a lot of shooting outside.
A few minutes later, Kilka comes out of the room naked, wearing only the VP's shoulder holster and his pistol.  He finds his armor, and he gets dressed in it.  He mutters, "well, the sex was fun; but you should not try to usurp the will of a people."  Yet the VP cannot hear this.  He is crumpled on the floor with his neck broken.
Kilka then starts clearing rooms.  Because of all the shooting, nobody notices.   Soon enough, he gets a Galil.  After that, he finds a computer and he logs on to the video phone, then he drags the VP's body over to it, and he calls his contacts in the media.  Once the dead body of the VP is seen online , the cops realize their fight is lost, and they retreat.
Then Kilka has Sophia towed to his house, so he can get her out of the battle armor.
After that, the President calls up Kilka, and he tells him "I thank you for all you have done for me; but there are a lot of people calling for your head."
Kilka answers to the president: "If you set the hounds on me, I will take a long vacation. then let's see what happens to you.  Those cops will come back to kill you."
The prez then replied:  "They found your DNA on his genitals, maybe we can work that angle."
Kilka replies: "Fuck you, I loved sucking his dick almost as much as I loved breaking his neck.  Almost; but not quite; because breaking that asshole's neck was way more enjoyable than swallowing his cum. Although I did swallow his cum, and I enjoyed it."
As a consequence of that conversation between Kilka and his prez, Kilka received the highest medal that a civilian can receive in his country.  There was also an amnesty for all parties involved in the fighting.  That does not sit well with Kilka; but he can't really do much about it, or can he?
Fuckyeah, he can!
Did I take it too far with the violence and the sex?  I'd like to know.  Please comment.  I know that the idea of a guy giving another dude a blowjob, and then breaking his neck is pretty extreme; but that's how I conceived it from the first.  As I said, Kilka is bisexual.  And extremely promiscuous. He has sex with a lot of men and women.  And you can see my previous posts to find out why I conceived the character that way.
And just wait until you hear about Kilka's daughter, Spectra.  Because she's all out fucks and all out of bubblegum, and she doesn't even like bubblegum.  Bubblegum sucks.
Spectra is also extremely promiscuous, and she loves to suck dick, and to kick ass, because the apple never falls far from the tree.  Kilka does not judge her for sucking a lot of dicks,  or for fucking a lot of men. That would be pretty hyppocritical.
Sorry I haven't yet finished the mechanical design for the trikes.  Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say. I've been going at it though; but it's really hard to do mechanical transforming design. especially when you consider that there is an operator inside the robot.

Sex

Ok, just so it's clear, I love fucking girls, and I don't hardly ever use condoms, and I love coming inside them.  I also love to watch my semen spill out of their pussies.  Don't ask me why,  I just  do.  I fucking love to watch my cum spilling out of a woman's vagina.  I get an endorphin rush from that.  And I'm addicted to ejaculating inside girls because it gets me high.
I also love when I come in a woman's mouth and she swallows my semen.  I fucking love that.

Karen

Karen was the first girl I fucked in ES, she was a stripper at this club that used to be called the Luxor.  I came in there drunk; because I'm not retarded.  I talked to her for a while, to find out how it all worked, then we went to the VIP room.  She drank all of the 7 tequila shots I bought (you get the liquor with the room), then she let me fuck her bareback, and come inside of her.
We also listened to Ricardo Arjona the whole time, and we kissed, and we had a very nice conversation.  I also gave her my phone number.  I'm not quite sure why she never called me back, because I did give her my number, and I know that she put it in her garter. I only know that she never did call me.  Girls never call you back.  Fucking bitches.

Asshole Drivers

I almost had to uppercut a motorcyclist when I went over to the supermarket. Not a huge problem for me; but why is that guy such an asshole?

You know what is worse than getting run over by a motorcycle? Getting a fist rammed into your face at 30 kmh plus the velocity of the fist. Even with a helmet you will die if you run into that.

He veered off at the last second, otherwise, it would have been tested empirically. Motherfucking science!

 Do not try to experiment empirically with fists and motorcycles unless you want to die.  Do NOT try this at home.

 

 

Chana

Chana is short for Roxanna.
She is a marera girl that I met before I met my ex.  She has a bigass 18 tattoo on her shoulder.  The ex is out the door now; but maybe my relationship with chana might endure. 
I love fucking marera girls. Don't ask me why.
Most people see a a bigass 18 on a girl's shoulder, and they get scared. I see the eighteen, or the 14 , or the 13, or whatever number, and I'm like "I must fuck her." I love fucking the girls people are scared of. I'm writing this because I just fucked the dieciocho girl. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, mothefucka!
Also, we might start making porn soon; because we gangsta like that, motherfucka! 
I love punctuating my sentences with motherfucka!  That's the best way to end a sentence, evar.

Yessica

So down here in ES women are actually fairly hard to pick up.  Much harder than in California, anyways, I met Yessica trhough the classifieds.  She's one of those mall rats that hangs out at metrocentro.  She sucked me off without a condom; but she had one for when I fucked her, then I fucked her ass.  Then I fucked her again.  She didn't have another condom, so she let me fuck her bareback.  Her only condition was for me not to come inside her.  I honored that, although sometimes, even if girls tell me that, the speed of my orgasms surprise me (and them).

These People Are Nuts

3. Julia Stiles in Cuba.
Cuba is an oppressive regime, what a fucking shocker!
2. Vampires aren't real, you fucking n00b!
Seriously?  Fucking seriously?  I could just stab this guy in the heart with my folder tanto, and he'd be dead.  Not with a wooden stake or anything like that, just a folding steel pocket knife.  Fucking eejit.  If anyone ever tells me that they are a vampire, you mark my words, I will hand their ass back to them.
1.Sandra Bullock has to pay him alimony because the guy ain't shit
Ok, Sandra Bullock is a bit older than me, by like 11 years; but if I managed to have that woman as my girlfriend, or wife, I would totally hold on to her and be loyal to her till death do us part, because I could finish any verbal fight by saying "I fuck Sandra Bullock every night.  Your arguement is invalid."
I mean Jesse who?  Like the old west bandit?  And he makes motorcycles for a living?  And he cheated on an A-lister with a porn star?  And now he's hooking up with some tattoo artist?  Fucking EEEEEEJIT.
Just putting it all in perspective.
That asshole just doesn't know how to appreciate women.  If I were as lucky as him as to bag Sandra Bullock I wouldn't so much as look at any other woman, ever again.
The eejitness of some people fucking astounds me.

Little Update

Ok, so I know I haven't been writing  any K&S lately.  That's because I've been working on the transforming version of the trikes.  I think I pretty much have them figured out. Hopefully more Kilka and Sophia within a week.  Also, get ready to know Kilka's true dark side.  People are gonna die.  And also some other stuff that I won't talk about just yet.  It involves sex; but not the kind you think.  Fair warning. Oh, BTW, If you happen to have a Genesis Climber Mospeada manual, I'd appreciate it if you sent it to me.  I need that shit. 

David Gumms, aka Gummy

Ok, so this asshole was always a smartass to me.  One time, as we were driving in a parking lot that always has police security, he's like trying to light up a weed pipe, and I'm like "waht the fuck, are you retarded?"  And he's like "This guy is just a fag."  Later that month, one of my other friends threw a party.  One of the girls at the party (kind of like a scene girl) lost her purse.  She announced that she would give a makeout session to whoever found it.  Gummy told her to go look for it in the bathroom, after that, he locked the bathroom door, and tried to rape her.  I started kicking the door in, while yelling "not cool!"  I was about to get my gun and shoot the lock off, when the asshole realized he'd been caught and just opened the door. 
dopey smarts
It's not the poster; but the first guy rapping.  If that guy comes anywhere near my daughter, I will take his head clean off.  Be aware that he is a substitute teacher.  When a substitute teacher has a neck tattoo, kill him.
This is why to this day David Gums and I do not see I to eye, and the next time I see him I will behead his dumbass.

Marla

Marlena was a hot Puerto Rican Chick I met off like San Pablo and Ashby in Oakland.  She was walking like off San Pablo near that MacDonald's and Urban Salvage.  There happens to also be an Italian mafia club right around there.  She lived like three blocks off there down a street  I won't name.
Look, way back in the day, I dated this girl for like two years.  It wasn't until two months after I broke up with her and she had a huge blowout with her mom that I found out she had been addicted to opiates the whole time we were dating, and when her mom kicked her out I let her stay at my place, because I didn't want her homeless and on the street. She started whoring herself to support her habit.  Understand that there was no sex involved between us at this point. Or even any exchange of money except gas money for me to drive her to the stroll.  And I would watch over her to make sure she was safe and didn't get kidnapped or anything like that.  Some might say that I was pimping her; but I really wasn't.  I just was emotionally invested in her, and making sure that she didn't end up dead in a ditch somewhere.  How did it end?  One day she left for a project in Oakland for a couple of days.  She got arrested for selling drugs to support her habit.  Her mom bailed her out (I had to call her mom to tell her Marla was under arrest, and her mom at first thought she was dead.  I can still remember her reaction when I told her "I want to talk to you about something serious about your daughter," and her reaction was "Ay Dios mío!  Is she dead?"  And I was like, no; but she's been arrested).  Her mom bailed her out, and they started to have a dialogue; but her mom still wouldn't let her back in the house.  One night, she went batshit insane, she started insulting me, and it got me pissed off.  I started drinking and got more aggressive.  I told her to shut her mouth or look for another place where someone would let her stay for free.  A couple of days later, she asked me to drop her off at that project again.
I didn't hear from her again for two years.  She'd been arrested for slinging drugs again, while out on bail.  This time they didn't let her bail out, and I wasn't about to get up in the middle of the night to open a car for her.  By that point I was working construction and had an early day.  I hope she got off the drugs; but I think she probably didn't.  One time I saw her while driving down San Pablo hanging out with a dude, probably an actual pimp.  I don't know if she recognized me, and I don't care.  My car was fucking up (ignition problems, and BTW, if you have ignition problems, replace the rotor on your distributor first.  If your car doesn't have a distributor, replace your pussy with a dick and a pair of balls, asshole.  The only exception to the asshole clause is if you have an LS family engine, in which case you have to test every one of those coils, and they are expensive, or if it's a diesel, replace the glowplugs; but that should only be a problem at startup) so I had to pull over in front of them. Kind of uncomfortable.  But they didn't approach me, and I'm pretty sure they understood that if they tried to fight me I would have shot them both.
Addiction is a hell of a thing.
Whenever I thought of her, I thought of this song:
Three Marlenas
I remember all kinds of things about her.  She liked to go to White Castle, and this one pizza place I don't remember the name of; but I could drive there if I were anywhere in the area.  She loved Dr. Pepper, and sour candy. She also sometimes liked to go to McDonald's.  When she was nice, she was really nice, and when she was a bitch  I had to yell at her not to be such a bitch.  Also, she smoked a lot.  At least a pack a day.  I hope she doesn't get lung cancer.
One more thing about her.  Just like with Crystal, when I met Marlena, she was only 17.  Just about to turn eighteen; but still, 17.  She told me she was 21 though.  It wasn't until much later that I found out her real age, and did the math that I realized she was 17 when I first met her.  Below the age of consent in California.  Still, she had already fucked the football coach at her school, which got the guy fired, and while I didn't know it, she was pregnant from a drug dealer when I first met her (She didn't show.  I never knew until after she gave birth)  There is a girl somewhere in Oakland that has the impression of my dick on her forehead.  If you see her, tell her I said hi.  Also I'll adopt that girl at the drop of a hat, because she needs a father figure, and pimps and drug dealers are not it.
I think her grandmother actually adopted her, though.  Still, no father figure.  That is important to a kid.
I was able to weather my insecurities from not knowing my father until I was 10 years old. My brother, however, is fucking nuts.  I will have to kill him if I ever see him again.

Pictures

Ok, I saw this collection of pictures on the internet, and although you often see an interesting picture or demotivational poster, or even a funny lol cat, this is the most interesting collection of pictures I've seen yet, and the pictures don't really have anything to do with each other; but I'm gonna comment on each of them.  Here's the page I'm referring to:
Interesting pic collection
1.  Hey, look at me!  I was swimming in the ocean and I found a sexy ass.
2.  She's kissing him; but he's just trying to eat her.
3.  Just put your booze in a drawer, dumbass, why go through all that trouble to hide it?
4.  Vladimir Putin is badass.  I'm not even sure why this was included in the collection, except maybe for his badassness.
5.  Ok, even if the guy was a clown (which I have no way of knowing if was or not), and his fellow clowns came to pay their respects, they could have done it out of costume.
6.  Panda walks into a restaurant, he orders, he eats; but when the waiter brings him the bill, he pulls out a gun and kills him.  The owner is like "what the fuck!"  And the panda is like "I'm a panda, look it up."  So the restaurant owner pulls out his dictionary, and looks up panda.  It says "Panda: Asian bear easily recognized by it's distinctive black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
Remember kids, he who would pun would pick a pocket, as the saying goes, so when in my vecinity, guard your wallet at all times.  Fair warning.
7.  I am sick and tired of these motherfucking snakes in my motherfucking head.
8.  It's the Sigüanaba, and she's wielding dog-chucks.  We're fucked.  Game over, man.
9.  I fucking hate African love birds with the white hot heat of a thousand suns.  Don't ask me why.  I just do.
10.  It's one thing to have a cat try to steal your motorcycle.  It's quite another to have a gang of cats succeed at it.
11.  Staying frosty at the concert.
12.  Staying not too frosty at the beach.
13.  NOS rules!  You know when you purge the bottle before a drag race.  That's the definition of awesome.  For illustrative purposes for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, here's this vid:
Camaro purging NOS
Now if anyone said to my face that that's not awesome, I would punch them in the dick before whipping out my dog-chucks.
14.  That's one sick taxidermist.
15.  Yeah, cops are stupid.  Duh!
16.  Spiderman, he does anything a commuter can.
17.  I am sick and tired of these motherfucking snakes on my motherfucking dog.
18.  Blondes.  Not smart; but I still love them.  I probably love them for not being smart, too.
19.  If you're gonna be showing your tits anyways, why bother covering up the nipples?
20.  See, this chick doesn't bother covering anything in front of her daughter, or her father.  That's gangsta.
21.  You got a lot of plaque there, let me floss your buttcheeks.
22.  Oh come on dude, just take a strong drink of liquor, and drink it like a man, instead of making a spectacle of yourself.
23.  Ok, if you are showing off your buttcheeks, other than at the beach, someone is gonna slap them.  If it were me, I'd be biting them in that pic.
24.  I would kill for a car like that, and the people that own it are abusing it.
25.  You better hope you kill that guy, otherwise he's gonna come back and torch you, your family, and your house, then he'll salt the earth so that nothing grows on your property for 100 years.
26.  Real sexy dude.  In case you didn't notice, I'm being sarcastic.
27.  Nice phone.
28.  Nice ass.
29.  Nice dog.
30.  Nice bike.
31.  Nice Jakuzzi
32.  Nice elephant orgy.
33.  Ok, if you can get a chick to give you a blowjob while all your friends are watching and posing for a pic, that's the definition of pimp.
34.  O hell no!  I don't care if your high jump champion.  Get in my belly!
35.  This is my science fair experiment.  It demonstrates that putting a huge phallic thing in front of my crotch will get me chicks.

Dang, that was a lot of pics; but we got through them.

Sniping

So one of my brothers actually told me that he was gonna kill me sniping style.  Fucking recockolouos.  He knows fuckall about guns, and around here, where the fuck would he sn snipe me from?  The answer is "nowhere"  I know from what he's told me about guns that all he's told me about them is based on FPS's,  or just his own made up bullshit.  I know how sniping works.  He's never fired a single shot out of a gun.
Not too important if you are just playing FPS's; but slighthly more important if you are threatening someone that actually knows how to do long distance shooting.
My preferred rounds are the .308 and the .300 Magnum BAR with BOSS.  I actually have never fired the .300 Magnum yet.  I'm actually a little scared of it, and trying to sort out the ammo.
Also, I'd give my eyeteeth for an M-1 Garand.
For pistols, I like the HK- PS9 in .45, the Deawoo DH-40 with it's fucking excellent triple action triger, and the taurus 7 shot .357 with compensator.
My brother is an asshole, and if he tries to engage me in a fucking sniper battle, he will die, and I will not even try to snipe him.  That would be retarded.  There is more than one way to skin a cat.   I'd probably not even use a gun.  If I absolutely had to, which I never will, I would probably kill him with the bowie.  Dude knows fuckall about guns, and this
is my damn house.  Period.