Number 6: Brandon Lee.
OK, the guy was badass; but he died at an early age. So maybe he should have saved his breath. He might have lived longer. I'm kidding. I just wanted to make a Wesley Snipes joke. Here's a vid of Brandon being badass, you also get some Ivan Drago as a bonus. The movie is Showdown in Little Tokyo. Featuring Tia Carrere. Serioulsy, there is nothing about this movie that I do not like. What happened Hollywood? Too busy making smurf movies? Fuck you.
Brandon Lee Kicking Ass
Number 5: Evil Ryu
Ryu doesn't even wear shoes. He just dragon punches people into another dimension. And Evil ryu uppercuts them into the 16th dimension. BTW, that's the dimension where you are constantly being punched. Also, He does the Hadouken and the Tatsu Maki Sen Puu Kiaku. I want no piece of those pies. Shouryuken!
Number 4: Seanbaby
I would be remiss if I didn't mention a mixed martial artist that can floor people with one kick and has a frigging mohawk. Also, Seanbaby invented being funny in the internet. Here's his website:
Seanbaby is awesome
Number 3: Bruce Lee
Here is the only person that has ever killed Chuck Norris' ass:
Bruce Lee p'wns Chuck Norris
Also there's this:
Bruce Lee vs. O'hara.
Now enter the dragon:
Bruce Lee don't fuck around
Destroy the images, and the enemy will die.
Number 2: Miyamoto Musashi
When Miyamoto Musashi was 13 he killed a 20 year old samurai. This set him on a path of badassness that has earned him a reputation as the best dueling samurai evar. BTW, Musashi had a really nice set of swords bought by the daimyo that employed him; but he actually preferred to use bokken. In fact, the duel that is the epitome of his badassness was against Sasaki Kojirou. Sasaki used a nodachi, or ookatana, which is basically an oversized two handed katana. Now keep in mind that musashi fought over 60 duels throughout his life. He also took part in many military campaigns and even took on multiple opponents during some of those battles. He used the terrain to p'wn those guys. Fucking smart!
Now back to Sasaki. The duel took place at the island of Funajima. Sasaki was already there; but Musashi had to hire a boatman to get there. On the way, Musashi took one of the oars that was laying in the boat, and he used his katana to make a bokken out of it. He then sheathed his katana, and faced off against Sasaki with the bokken. He ended up killing Sasaki with the bokken, and at the last minute drew his wakizashi (like a katana short sword type weapon); but Sasaki was already dead. Here is a dramatization of that duel, played by Toshiro Mifune as Miyamoto. The movie is Samurai III (yeah, it's a trilogy. Watch all three movies, you won't regret it). Oh, the island is also known as ganryujima (jima is Japanese for island); but this is the best dramatization I've found of it. Just watch all three movies. But here is the one duel:
Miyamoto Musashi vs. Koujiro Sasaki
Number 1: Scorpion From Mortal Kombat
I can't forge a kunai, so, what I did, I tied a rope to a spade, then I sharpened all the edges and tied a rope to the handle. Ore no namae wa scorpion desu! Get over here! Minna goroshi da! Awesome weapon. I've been practicing with it. I could use it to climb or to rope things or to Scorpion them.
I lie like a mug. I'm totally gonna build a forge and make two frigging badass kunais. I already designed them.
Here are a couple of vids from Mortal Kombat Legacy, detailing Scorpion's story:
Scorpion vs. Subzero Part 1
Scorpin vs. Subzero Part 2
When a guy comes back from the dead, you better beware his kunai and his katana
Vengeance will be Mine!!!
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